Pbunny Posted March 22, 2016 Posted March 22, 2016 I will make this as brief as possible since this can be kind of messy and I dont want my first post here to be all over the place. So my ex and I broke up 2 months ago due to how comfortable we got with one another and university stress caused me to neglect her from time to time. During the month I tried to fix things and to at least show her I cared about her. I thought I was doing everything right and I never felt so strong about one of my ex's before. During this time she would send me mixed signals. Some days she missed me and wanted my company and other days I was less than a stranger to her. During this time she began texting a lot of guys. Although she was doing that she hardly new that many guys to text to begin with. I had a friend who was "supporting" me through this situation. She also started texting this friend of mine since he was the next closest guy she knew in a sense. I didnt think anything of it because I trusted my friend, I knew him for years and thought he would have at least a bit of respect. So they went out one day to the movies and it was all fine. One day she called me telling me if you can love someone but like someone else at the same time. I didnt think anything of it and brushed it off. The next day she comes over and we have a passionate time together. She tells me she loves me but then proceeds to tell me she likes this friend. I made a mistake of informing my "friend" about this. The next day they meet and have coffee. They then hookup and she sends me a painful text explaining that she does not love me and that everything was fake and that we were lying to ourselves. Keep in mind I was not aware of their get together. I then see them together a few days later and I call out my friend and he assures me that I can trust him. I later find out and they both completely **** on me. Ever since I cut them out of my life. She has been posting a ton of pictures of them together and she has been constantly making bad remarks about me. Her new boyfriend has been spreading rumors about me being physically abusive towards her. Since then I cut them off social media and have been trying my best to move on. I dont think what they have is anything special. I personally believe its a rebound and it wont last long. The have 2 very conflicting religious background and the speed of the relationship and how fast they are progressing adds to it. Seeing how "happy" she is with someone as scummy as him really just gets to me. Its been a month now since I found out and I'm much better than I was before and I just want to see other peoples opinions on this situation. Will they work, will they both comeback, how should I react if they text me? Keep in mind that my ex lost a lot of contact with her friends and she was heavily dependent on me when we began university together. tl;dr Ex and I broke up 2 months ago, 1 month we were back and forth and a then she hooks up with my "best friend" and has been posting and spreading their happiness on social media 1
TaraMaiden2 Posted March 22, 2016 Posted March 22, 2016 Ignore, block, delete, deny, do not react, move on. She's your ex. What she does now, is of no concern of yours. She's a free agent and sadly, can behave any way she wants. Your job is to go No Contact (see link in my signature) and heal. Sorted. 2
salparadise Posted March 22, 2016 Posted March 22, 2016 First let me say that I realized this hurt like hell and I'm sorry for your pain. As for what to do... not much you can do but accept that it happened and try to let it go. You got dumped. It happens. The guy was no friend to you- he lied to your face and reassured you that you had nothing to worry about while he was banging her, although he didn't do it while you were still together at least. I don't know why she feels she has to be so adversarial about it. Block them on social media and do your best to avoid them. I wouldn't suggest sitting around hoping they come back to you. Why would you even wish for that? 1
Author Pbunny Posted March 22, 2016 Author Posted March 22, 2016 (edited) I've had no contact with them ever since. I dont wish for them to come back, well not entirely. I couldnt give two ****s about my friend but my ex I just want an apology or at least an explanation as to way she had to take advantage of me during the break up. I'm busy trying to move on but I have this weird feeling in the back of my head that there is a piece missing in all this and I'm busy trying to get rid of it. I see it as she is confused and is breaking free but it has no happy ending. Thus is the anxiety she has built up on herself. Edited March 22, 2016 by Pbunny 1
Satu Posted March 22, 2016 Posted March 22, 2016 Her motivations and thought processes don't matter. You matter. Your sole focus should be on your own wellbeing. Her relationship with your 'friend' will not prosper, and more than likely she will attempt to rekindle things with you when it crashes and burns. Don't even consider it. She's a bad egg. *No direct contact. *No sending or receiving of messages. *Block any means she might use to contact you. *No replies to anything that gets through your blocks. *No indirect contact through third parties. *De-friend or delete from all social media. *No monitoring of her on social media. *No 'little birds' feeding you news. *Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what she is doing or saying. Take care.
Author Pbunny Posted March 22, 2016 Author Posted March 22, 2016 Her motivations and thought processes don't matter. You matter. Your sole focus should be on your own wellbeing. Her relationship with your 'friend' will not prosper, and more than likely she will attempt to rekindle things with you when it crashes and burns. Don't even consider it. She's a bad egg. *No direct contact. *No sending or receiving of messages. *Block any means she might use to contact you. *No replies to anything that gets through your blocks. *No indirect contact through third parties. *De-friend or delete from all social media. *No monitoring of her on social media. *No 'little birds' feeding you news. *Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what she is doing or saying. Take care. Yeah you're right they wont prosper and I wont give in to a second chance. Even though she seems so happy right now it only her replacing what we had with a new experience. Once it begins to fade and slow down the reality and the guilt of what she has done to me will hit her. Once the time comes I should be in the good mental state to deal with it. Thank you for your words.
Satu Posted March 22, 2016 Posted March 22, 2016 Yeah you're right they wont prosper and I wont give in to a second chance. Even though she seems so happy right now it only her replacing what we had with a new experience. Once it begins to fade and slow down the reality and the guilt of what she has done to me will hit her. Once the time comes I should be in the good mental state to deal with it. Thank you for your words. Your future will be brighter than hers. For sure.
Author Pbunny Posted March 22, 2016 Author Posted March 22, 2016 Your future will be brighter than hers. For sure. How do you think it will come to an end even though she is so happy right now? I dont see a future in it and many people with a brain dont as well. Dont take this as me holding on to hope, I just dont want this "friend" to be "happy".
Satu Posted March 22, 2016 Posted March 22, 2016 (edited) How do you think it will come to an end even though she is so happy right now? I dont see a future in it and many people with a brain dont as well. Dont take this as me holding on to hope, I just dont want this "friend" to be "happy". I just think that she's on a temporary high that can't be sustained for long when the newness wears off. More than likely, he will disappoint her by not treating her very well; she'll crash emotionally, and then realise that she made a very bad choice. He's turned out to be a very dishonourable person who doesn't consider the feelings of others, so he's treatment of her won't be up to scratch. Chasing a close friends partner is pretty near to being as low as you can get. You'll come out of this a happier person than she will. Edited March 22, 2016 by Satu 1
Author Pbunny Posted March 22, 2016 Author Posted March 22, 2016 I just think that she's on a temporary high, that can't be sustained for long when the newness wears off. More than likely, he will disappoint her by not treating her very well; she'll crash emotionally, and then realise that she made a very bad choice. He's turned out to be a very dishonourable person who doesn't consider the feelings of others, so he's treatment of her won't be up to scratch. Chasing a close friends partner is pretty near to being as low as you can get. You are very right about him being dishonorable. He has a history of dropping really good friends that hes known for awhile and just replacing them. I had a talk with his ex awhile ago when we both heard about this. His ex and him only lasted 3 days and according to her he was a bad boyfriend. Something about him being very clingy, etc... If he can easily drop a friendship just to bang a friends ex I feel like he can cause a lot of hurt for her and I dont want her to experience that.
Bee4Shine Posted March 22, 2016 Posted March 22, 2016 That is hard. It sounds like you and your gf were having troubles before your friend entered the picture. Maybe this was inevitable and is what needed to happen for you to move on. Relationships do need work, for sure, but they should not be a struggle. Especially when you are both in school and life is full and hard...there is a tremendous amount of grace that is necessary for each to have for the other. I know you want to know what they are going to do, if it will last. Your best option would be to put it behind you. What does it matter how they end up? Do you think you could go back with your gf? Could you be friends and trust your friend again? The answer to these questions may be yes, but only you can answer that. It might be best to let your heart heal and move on with your life.
Satu Posted March 22, 2016 Posted March 22, 2016 You are very right about him being dishonorable. He has a history of dropping really good friends that hes known for awhile and just replacing them. I had a talk with his ex awhile ago when we both heard about this. His ex and him only lasted 3 days and according to her he was a bad boyfriend. Something about him being very clingy, etc... If he can easily drop a friendship just to bang a friends ex I feel like he can cause a lot of hurt for her and *I dont want her to experience that. *I understand how you feel, but you can't save her from herself, no matter how much you care for her.
Author Pbunny Posted March 22, 2016 Author Posted March 22, 2016 That is hard. It sounds like you and your gf were having troubles before your friend entered the picture. Maybe this was inevitable and is what needed to happen for you to move on. Relationships do need work, for sure, but they should not be a struggle. Especially when you are both in school and life is full and hard...there is a tremendous amount of grace that is necessary for each to have for the other. I know you want to know what they are going to do, if it will last. Your best option would be to put it behind you. What does it matter how they end up? Do you think you could go back with your gf? Could you be friends and trust your friend again? The answer to these questions may be yes, but only you can answer that. It might be best to let your heart heal and move on with your life. I dont think our relationship was really bad. It started out amazing and its all always been amazing until the last few months until the breakup. It just seemed like she began to communicate less and less about what was bothering her. She said I changed and I can see why she would think that but more over I think its her that changed more. She seemed to be afraid.
Author Pbunny Posted March 22, 2016 Author Posted March 22, 2016 *I understand how you feel, but you can't save her from herself, no matter how much you care for her. In the end I feel like I just dont want the guy in the picture. I love the girl and I think I always will but she hurt me way more than I thought I could have been. And for her to go around and say to people that I hurt her and for her to tell herself that I took advantage of her when in reality she was the one taking advantage of me in the situation really hurts. I admit to neglecting her and that is my fault since I am at a point where I am trying to figure out my own goals.
Rachel39 Posted March 22, 2016 Posted March 22, 2016 What a horrible situation! It must be so painful to be deceived this way by someone who you trusted ( your friend) As for your ex as painful as it is that she has done this you have had a lucky escape and shows her true character ! you will not be the only one she behaves this way too. The best form of revenge is success remover that and to show her how little she effects you even though it's hurting you ! Ps wish I'd taken my own advice lol
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