GenericYouTubeUser69 Posted March 22, 2016 Posted March 22, 2016 So to set up the backstory of all of this: I met this girl around the time my relationship and her relationship was going downhill. I was in a really controlling relationship where I honestly could never be myself without being ashamed or ridiculed by my own girlfriend. I digress. I broke up with said controlling girlfriend a few weeks before her and I started going out. She broke up with her boyfriend around the same time. Now I will admit, this started fast. Though sex or anything of the matter didn't start until about a month later, it was still soon. Anyway, everything went smooth during the first few weeks of us dating. Though when I asked her if we could make it Facebook official, she said no due to her ex's feelings. Understandable, I thought. I didn't really care a whole lot about it at the time, I just wanted things to go smooth and let everything settle out. She later became friends with him, and then even better friends with him. It got to the point where if I would ask if we could just post some pictures on Facebook of her and I, she'd tell me, "Maybe" or "I just want to make sure he's alright with it." Keep in mind, she's still saying all of that to this day and we've been dating for 4 months. But again, I'm sure that's something that could be rationalized. But recently, things have gotten... shady. She recently went to her brother's house two states away for a week for her birthday. Her ex, however, lives only about 3 hours away from her brother's house and lives a state above. Everything was going fine, the week was zooming by... until of course she told me her ex was picking her up to blow glass. Her ex works at a glassblowing mill... or something like that. A fancy 4 star luxury gift shop and restaurant blah blah, you get the point. Now I understood her reasons for wanting to go with him and specifically him. Since he works there, and normally no one is allowed to go and learn to blow glass there whenever, it was the perfect opportunity to go! But here's the problem: She ALSO went to a ski resort AND went to a 4 star restaurant with him the same day. I didn't know anything about this until I asked a bit more about her trip. I'll get to that later though. Now I thought it would be cute to simply make a cutsy post on her wall. Something along the lines of, "I love you babe, I miss you! Can't wait till' you come home." Now when I posted this her phone was completely dead. It was getting around 11:30pm and at this point I was getting pretty worried. But again, I calmed myself and rationalized it as, "Oh well the drive is 3 hours, so she just has to get back to charge it." But as soon as she got home, her Facebook seemed to magically start "glitching" and "messing up" as she described it. All of a sudden my post is completely gone and I no longer have access to her wall. Meanwhile she kept going online and offline of messenger (like to the point where you wouldn't be able to respond, her profile was deactivated). I simply couldn't rationalize this in my head. How could something like this happen? It'd be so easy for someone to delete an unwanted post to their timeline, deactivate and reactivate their account, while using the excuse, "Wow that's weird, maybe it just glitched or something." So I talked to her that night about my worries and about how I didn't feel very comfortable with her and her ex. Everything about it at that point just felt odd. Like everything. Why in the entire time she was down there, she took no pictures of her and her brother. She is someone who ALWAYS does this, if there's family around, she takes like 30-40 photos without fail. BUT, when her and her ex are going around doing stuff, she claims to have taken over 100 photos! At least 7 of which are of her and him, and them being relatively close in the pictures as well. I'd like to add, one of the pictures she did post of him and her had the caption, "Oops, did I just post that? :p" What I feel is a reference to when I told her I wasn't comfortable with her and her ex. But later that night, I decided to mention the fact that I'd like to start posting cute things on her wall. The first time I mentioned it, she ignored it. The second time I mentioned it, she barely acknowledged it. And the next day? I can no longer post on her wall. Seems shady, right? Now I've talked to her about this already, and honestly I've gotten nowhere. She just tells me to not worry. She tells me that me asking about what she's up to and asking about her and Dylan makes me worry about it more, which is true! What she doesn't seem to realize though, is that she brings him up almost CONSTANTLY now. Which to me, is a huge red flag. And admittedly, I've asked a few people about this, some knew her and some didn't, and every single one told that what she was doing was sketchy. Some even told me to count my losses, and leave. But who knows! I honestly just need opinions and other people's thoughts. Maybe I'm overthinking, maybe something is happening with her, or maybe even a bit of both! I just gotta hear from others, thanks everyone! 1
ExpatInItaly Posted March 22, 2016 Posted March 22, 2016 (edited) Dude, she is going on dates with her ex. Yes, dates. And she is hiding key information from you, like the fact that this wasn't just some glass-blowing excursion. There was a lot more to it than that. She won't acknowledge you publicly. She takes cozy pictures with him. Does he even know about you? I doubt it. Sorry, but I think you're being played. I wouldn't stick around. Edited March 22, 2016 by ExpatInItaly 1
Satu Posted March 22, 2016 Posted March 22, 2016 She's got you caught in a web of lies and deceit. End it now before you get badly hurt. 1
kidm Posted March 22, 2016 Posted March 22, 2016 The writing is on the wall. Don't be fooled; you're being played. 1
insert_name Posted March 22, 2016 Posted March 22, 2016 'Glass blowing' - is that what they call it these days? 3
LoveRefreshed Posted March 22, 2016 Posted March 22, 2016 dude, he doesn't sound like an ex. Depending on what you want to do, I handled my ex's gf with just discussing openly how disrespectful it was. She has to be open to listening though. I did tell her though that I wasn't comfortable going forward with my relationships while her she let her ex husband be disrespectful to me. She unfriended him immediately. Don't threaten a break up, but do it. Tell her that she's been to disrespectful with her ex bf, and now it's either facebook official (and whatever else you want, transparency with ex bf, for example) or you walk. If she says no, walk. She is being disrespectful. It took me a little while to come to this conclusion but since I have, 2 exes have been unfriended. -_- 1
Tahirthegreat Posted March 22, 2016 Posted March 22, 2016 That ex is not an ex. Youre being taken for a fool. Dont be that guy sitting at home while shes at a ski resort "glass blowing" her ex. Dump her. 1
kendahke Posted March 22, 2016 Posted March 22, 2016 (edited) She doesn't want a relationship with you. She wants her ex back, if they were ever really broken up. She is making that abundantly clear to you. I wouldn't issue any conditions--she's already shown you she can't be trusted and she's a liar. You don't need that kind of woman in your life. No one changes their behavior like that. If she takes oodles of pictures of her and her family, but doesn't while supposedly visiting her brother with her ex orbiting around her, then she's not visiting her brother. She's there to see her ex. And they did have sex. Leave her alone. Dump her, block her, block all access she may have to you. Change your relationship status to single on your page and keep it moving. She has made her choice and did a lot of lying by omission to accomplish it. Let her have him. And she wasn't blowing glass... she is blowing him. Edited March 22, 2016 by kendahke 4
LoveRefreshed Posted March 22, 2016 Posted March 22, 2016 The more I think about it, the more kendahke is right. It's likely that she attempted to break up with her ex for you, but couldn't go through with it. Now she's living in between the two of you and hiding it. It seems her last relationship is coming back and now she is trying to save face from looking like a liar and cheater and blocked you from her facebook wall so that you can't out her. I would dump her without question. 3
whichwayisup Posted March 22, 2016 Posted March 22, 2016 Now I will admit, this started fast. Hence the issues at hand. You both ended your relationships and then so soon, started a R with each other. Neither of you did any real grieving and or being on your own before jumping in and being together. It's kind of unhealthy to bounce from R to R without time alone...People do it all the time yet that is probably a reason why those R don't work out, too much baggage from previous R and not being emotionally ready for a new R. 1
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