Did I scare sweet guy off?

[Cotton Rain]

About a three weeks ago, I met this guy through a friend at a convention at a hotel. I had known him before and thought he was cute but never really thought about persuing anything.

 

Somehow, we ended up together and had a blast, partying, dancing, drinking, talking, laughing. I think at one point he propositioned me in a cute, roundabout way.

 

In the morning, we went to bed together, but he softly cuddled me, and he was such a gentleman while cuddling. He never inappropriately touched me, though he did kiss my forehead. I kissed him back. I touched him though but I didn't want to get him too excited because it was early morning and I was half-way alive by then so I kept it gentle and loving. At one point, I removed my hand and he grabbed it and put it back on his body. He then asked me if I were single (a little late now that I realize) and I said yes and he said he was single too. He was worried about a guy friend of mine but I told him I'm not interested in that guy. We slept forehead to forehead or with his head tucked into my neck or shoulder.

 

We had fun the next day and he asked me to hang out with him sometime, come to a concert, and he made sure he gave me his number, and to text him.

 

I would text him and he would usually respond, but it took hours. I'm not sure he's big on texting or if he's just not interested.

 

I met him again at a concert the following weekend and he told me he was recovering from the last weekend. It felt like teenage crush again. At one point, a the band leader shouted a question out to the crowd and I looked at the guy to see if he would say anything. I guess he must've thought I said something because we both looked at each other, grinned at each other and then looked back at the band. We stayed standing there inches apart with our hands folded in a similar fashion. We both had really goofy smiles on our faces and we whispered to each other. After the concert, he asked me if I wanted to talk outside. We talked outside and I felt like we orbited each other. He kept looking at me and he never moved from my sight. I left and he hugged me and asked me how I was getting home.

 

I developed a huge crush and sexual interest in him, but I had to do some digging.

 

First, I showed his pictures to my gay guy friends and none of them thought he was particularly attractive. At first, I was upset because I thought he was absolutely gorgeous, but my gay friends did not think so at all. Then I became devious and realized if he was not that attractive that increases my chances of getting laid by him.

 

Then, I facebook friend requested him, and saw he takes horrid pics of himself. He's handsome but he doesn't realize how handsome he is. All I got from his social media is he loves his family, he's a fun/happy person, career-oriented, with lots of friends and travelling, but there were no girlfriend pictures at all or pictures of him with hot girls (he doesn't seem like a player). Very pc and kinda boring if i wasn't so attracted to him lol

 

I thought I'd invite him over so we could continue where we left off so I did. I figured he would have to say yes or no. Some alone time would be good because other men hit on me both at the convention and the hotel right in front of him. I only had eyes for him though.

 

He texted back, "Hey sorry I didn't respond to your text earlier. I'm super busy with work but that sounds fun. I'm travelling right now going "here" and "there". Maybe when I get back?"

 

I said okay and then I haven't heard from him again. I see on his social media that he really is travelling (he went to like 3 different states in the last couple of weeks for work) but he should be back by now.

 

I wonder if I were too forward. Do you think he lost interest and what should I do? I'm sad about it.

 

If he's inexperienced, perhaps my sexual aggression was a turn-off?

 

I'll be seeing him at another event this week I think and I will be on my A-game and I'll play it cool/act like nothing happened/I'm not worried and see what he does. But am I just not taking the hint?

Edited March 22, 2016 by Cotton Rain

[salparadise]

You're overthinking everything. Don't pole your gay friends to figure out if he's attractive- he's attractive to you and that's all that matters. He was busy and traveling, so it's not like he's been rejecting you. Just keep doing what you're doing and give it some time. Don't be so invested, just have a good time, keep in touch and let things transpire as they will.

[Scarlett.O'hara]

I wouldn't rule out anything just yet. He actually sounds like quite a decent guy so just give it some more time to develop.

 

The good news is that you will have the opportunity to see him again so make sure you look your best and play it cool, and be receptive if he initiates.

 

The ball is in his court now.

 

I hope it works out.

[Empire87]

Nope you didn't do anything wrong or too forward. Completely appropriate especially since it seems he's initiated getting together in the past. If all signs show that he really is traveling then try hard not to overthink things. It's easy to think "why hasn't he texted/he's probly not into me as much" while you're home or going through your weekly routine. However you have no clue what his requirements are while he's traveling. If it's for work, then my guess would be that the traveling is because he's got things to do/meetings/ places to be that go along with his job or career. So tell yourself that you aren't expecting any communication from him while he's away.

 

I'm gonna guess that if you hold off a few days he will send a text eventually to check in and let you know about his return. Another idea - do you and him have/use snapchat? If so and you're really itching to hear from him, send him a snap of something you see or something he'd laugh at as an inside joke between you both. But make sure you leave it at that. Don't start sending selfies and pics just to see if he opened it or prodding a reply. Just 1 will suffice. If he replies, great, if not, then it doesn't mean anything.

 

Sounds like he's a great opportunity at this point. Be careful about asking others for their opinions on the people you like as well. I know gay friends might seem like the best unbiased opinion, but I wouldn't ask my lesbian friend if she thought my crush was attractive. They're not gonna be sleeping with him so if you think he's hot, keep that opinion truthful in your own head.

 

It's great when others confirm your opinions about someone. But it's miserable when they tell you something you weren't expecting. That can make you start nit picking about things that aren't important. Just because he takes bad pictures of himself.. What's that mean? If you want others to think you're seeing a handsome guy when they see his pictures then those are people you don't hang out with otherwise they'd see his good looks in person. And it's pointless to care about what people you don't hang out with think isn't it?

 

Take some pictures of the two of you the next time you're with him if you want. As a girl you always have the option of saying "nah I don't like that one, let's take another" a million times and not have it be weird. Lol

[preraph]

I mean, you were sort of a convention fling, but he did take you out again. Can you be sure he isn't married or has a girlfriend? Better do some more digging on him.

[smackie9]

Ask him out or offer a home cooked meal. If you play it too cool, he may think you are not interested. To me he sounds like a busy guy, and maybe a little more focused on work than his personal life. BTW not everyone likes texting like teenagers.

 

I think he really likes you and is probably pinching himself that you do have an interest in him....maybe he needs more convincing that this is real.

 

Send him a flirty text he can't refuse.

[d0nnivain]

If he is not currently in your state, exactly what do you expect him to do for you? He said he's busy traveling. Believe him. You have no idea how full his days are. Just because he can post on social media does not mean he has time for you. That is brainless; talking to the new girl takes energy. See what happens when he gets back.

[Cotton Rain]

I told you I'd bring my A-game to the next event.

 

So, I show a little more skin, get my hair fixed, and carefully primp my makeup. I'm slimmer and wearing form fitting clothes. I head over. The guy is there and then...

 

Nothing.

 

He takes peeks at me and looks a way, sometimes watches me but looks away. He's out with his roommates (I'd later find out) and friends.

 

I start feeling rejected and decide to just flirt/chat with other men. I actually meet a cute guy I would've been happy to talk to before I'd met this sweet guy, but I'm too distracted/aware of sweet guy.

 

Then, randomly, sweet guy turns from his buds and introduces himself to me like we're strangers. I say my name and then it clicks for him. He apologizes and ask me if I did something new to my hair. He didn't recognize me. I tease him and everyone laughs (his buds are following this conversation). He's so shocked that it's me and I'm like, what?

 

True, the last times I'd been with him: one, I was a makeup-less hot mess with no deodorant/toothpaste/comb on hand while being high and drinking, and the second time, my hair was wild and free and I'd changed the way I'd done makeup but still.

 

He introduces me to his bachelor roommates and he asks me about myself and tells when he got back in from travelling and when he's leaving again. His friends are cool, which I told him last time.

 

At 12am, we get kicked out. I head up to my cab, exhausted, and then I hear my name. I turn and see sweet guy chasing me down the sidewalk. He apologizes again, hugs me, and asks to hang out again. He only mentions public spaces though- as in not my bedroom. He says he's free on Tuesday and he rambles/stumbles. I agree but I'd wished I'd brought up my text.

 

 

 

Okay, I still don't know about this guy. I want him but I don't know if I would seriously date him. Right now it's fun but... we're polar opposites. I am a pretty strait-laced person who has followed the rules and now want to have fun and just experiment in a place where I won't be judged (which is why I want to have sex with him) and he's a person who never followed any rules in his life/career/choice of living.

[d0nnivain]

See if he follows up.