Looks like I'm being ghosted, no idea why...

[bluefeather]

I basically said that ghosting is "kind of dick move," haha.

 

"haha?" You think that's funny? You sound like you don't know wtf you're doing. That is calling her a dick, and now you want to text her more? That kind of talk is enough to get your number blocked.

 

The way you acted and things you said makes you come off as a tool. Send another text and you'll look like a desperate one. Go ahead and see what happens, if you haven't already. Maybe you'll get lucky, but it really sounds like I'm hearing two different versions of the story here. She "begged" for sex, yet won't give you the time of day. Something went very wrong there, and if I was in your position, more text would not be the answer. It rarely is.

[katiegrl]

So right now I'm thinking I either won't send another text, or I'll eventually send one just saying something like:

 

"Hey, just wanted to apologize for calling you a d*ck, haha. I was feeling a little hurt at the time because I like you. I can totally relate with not wanting to disappoint someone. If that was your worry it's cool, and we don't have to date if you realized you're not into it, but I'd really like to stay friends or at least friendly if that works for you."

 

I know it's stupid but even just getting a message back with her saying we can be friends, and then not really being friends (or even a message saying "sorry, not interested") would make me feel a lot better. I guess I just hate having things like this left unresolved.

 

You called her a d*ck? Did't read that...wow.

 

Sorry, there is no coming back from that... even as just friends.

 

Time to call this one a day....and move on.

 

Lesson learned.

[mortensorchid]

A ghosting happened to me 2 years ago. He seemed like a good guy in the bit I knew him, we got on well, he wasn't intimidated by my friends and even happened to meet my mom one day, and then ... He just vanished. The communication got strange, he wasn't initiating things. I said "let it be, you'll be okay. It's for the best." And here I am today without him. Then again as you get older you learn to accept things a bit better without taking the blow to the ego unless someone does something totally tacky like break it off with a text or email.

 

Maybe the other person didn't want to be in it for the long haul, because during the first 6 months you are not truly in a relationship, you are still in the "get to know you" phase, things are new and exciting. In short, you are "dating", you are not "going steady". Let it be. You'll be ok.

[katiegrl]

A ghosting happened to me 2 years ago. He seemed like a good guy in the bit I knew him, we got on well, he wasn't intimidated by my friends and even happened to meet my mom one day, and then ... He just vanished. The communication got strange, he wasn't initiating things. I said "let it be, you'll be okay. It's for the best." And here I am today without him. Then again as you get older you learn to accept things a bit better without taking the blow to the ego unless someone does something totally tacky like break it off with a text or email.

 

Maybe the other person didn't want to be in it for the long haul, because during the first 6 months you are not truly in a relationship, you are still in the "get to know you" phase, things are new and exciting. In short, you are "dating", you are not "going steady". Let it be. You'll be ok.

 

Have you read the thread? HE blew it.

[Popsicle]

I think that neither of you was really into the other and had no business going out with each other.

[smudge21]

Have you read the thread? HE blew it.

 

 

I think they both blew it. I know there's plenty guys out there who would rush in, even given the slightest signal, but there are others who still can get all the signals but if there's the slightest bit of doubt, will back off. From what I read, they were both tired and she fell asleep first. Okay, yeah she did ask him to join her in bed but I got the impression that once there, she was quickly asleep again. Sorry but from that first moment when she fell asleep I would be reluctant to make any moves as it would tell me she didn't want to go further. Even later in bed, I'd need to see that interest build back up, maybe some cuddling and kissing, not just going back to sleep. I've had similar where I ended up in bed with a girl after a night out and we've got close but then she's turned around and just had me wrap my arms around her and held my close. That to me doesn't say "let's have sex" it says "this is all I want right now". We are all different and often struggle to read others signals, but I think in this instance, OP and his date weren't on the same page... or maybe they were in regards neither of them really wanting it that night.

[Kamille]

Did she maybe have too much to drink on the date? That could explain the Netflix & snack & pass out. Wouldn't explain the ghosting though.

 

 

I'm guessing she was put off by the fact you said you couldn't spend the night. It made you seem like a player and she opted out using Netflix & pass out. That could explain the ghosting.

 

 

Regardless, ghosting sucks. But if she didn't reply to any of your last messages, I don't see why you would bother apologizing more. Don't grovel.

[katiegrl]

I think they both blew it. I know there's plenty guys out there who would rush in, even given the slightest signal, but there are others who still can get all the signals but if there's the slightest bit of doubt, will back off. From what I read, they were both tired and she fell asleep first. Okay, yeah she did ask him to join her in bed but I got the impression that once there, she was quickly asleep again. Sorry but from that first moment when she fell asleep I would be reluctant to make any moves as it would tell me she didn't want to go further. Even later in bed, I'd need to see that interest build back up, maybe some cuddling and kissing, not just going back to sleep. I've had similar where I ended up in bed with a girl after a night out and we've got close but then she's turned around and just had me wrap my arms around her and held my close. That to me doesn't say "let's have sex" it says "this is all I want right now". We are all different and often struggle to read others signals, but I think in this instance, OP and his date weren't on the same page... or maybe they were in regards neither of them really wanting it that night.

 

Putting the sex issue aside, what I gathered from his posts, was when they got into bed, HE was the one who *needed* his sleep and immediately went to sleep....and made a concerted effort NOT to cuddle with her, and instead chose to sleep *separated* from her ...because that is how *he* needs to sleep.

 

I'm sorry smudge, I am imaging this scenario and that is COLD.

 

I mean to not even want to cuddle a bit? Come on.

 

I would feel more rejected by *that*, than the fact he didn't want to have sex with me.

Edited March 24, 2016 by katiegrl

[smudge21]

Putting the sex issue aside, what I gathered from his posts, was when they got into bed, HE was the one who *needed* his sleep and immediately went to sleep....and made a concerted effort NOT to cuddle with her, and instead chose to sleep *separated* from her ...because that is how *he* needs to sleep.

 

I'm sorry smudge, I am imaging this scenario and that is COLD.

 

I mean to not even want to cuddle a bit? Come on.

 

I would feel more rejected by *that*, than the fact he didn't want to have sex with me.

 

 

Fair point. I think we need OP to clarify. I do agree that maybe his heart wasn't in it (or indeed his other organ) and therefore any signals from her will have been missed. But from a male view point here, and one that has been in similar situations, knowing exactly what someone wants can be tricky - yes, even when the invite seems so obvious. Unless a girl is grabbing at parts, we sometimes miss the clues.

 

 

Plus you have to remember that there is a viewpoint that men will take sex whenever and wherever. There's even another thread here where a girl is being invited back for dinner and is presuming that means sex. So knowing that, knowing how we're often seen to be, some of us don't want to come across like that. I definitely don't. So even when the offer looks genuine, we still may back off and play it safe. I personally would not initiate sex with a girl, a new girl, after alcohol has been involved. As much as it removes inhibitions, it also allows for regret.

 

 

I can see however why this girl went quiet afterwards but do wonder if the situation could've been worked out. Just because two people didn't have sex, doesn't mean they couldn't next time. Okay, say the girl feels rejected, but that's not a permanent situation and I'm sure if she liked him, then she would still be available for him. I get in this instance she ghosted not just because of that night, but also because she simply didn't feel it anymore. I'd like to think people are more than just what happens in the bedroom and relationships are built on stronger grounds then whether someone shows them a good time. That's just me though... everyone's different.

[jen1447]

Thanks for validating the way I'm feeling.

 

As far as texting one last time though, I'm not sure how I'll feel better about that a year from now than if I don't. I mean, if she doesn't respond I won't think "man, things would have been so much better if I didn't send that text!" And if she does respond, then I will have gotten what I wanted.

 

To put it bluntly, a year from now you'll probably view her as a ridiculous waste of time and hate yourself to some degree for having allowed her to get her hooks into you. It's a perfectly normal process - the oxytocin wears off and you're left w/the stark reality that she's just another mediocre person w/faults.

 

If you factor into that equation that you groveled at the end and marginalized your dignity and allowed her to walk away w/the moral high ground somehow, you'll feel even worse. Your dignity will be the most important thing to you a year from now, not the idealized image of her you're carrying around at the moment.

 

So really, just don't do it.

[katiegrl]

Fair point. I think we need OP to clarify. I do agree that maybe his heart wasn't in it (or indeed his other organ) and therefore any signals from her will have been missed. But from a male view point here, and one that has been in similar situations, knowing exactly what someone wants can be tricky - yes, even when the invite seems so obvious. Unless a girl is grabbing at parts, we sometimes miss the clues.

 

 

Plus you have to remember that there is a viewpoint that men will take sex whenever and wherever. There's even another thread here where a girl is being invited back for dinner and is presuming that means sex. So knowing that, knowing how we're often seen to be, some of us don't want to come across like that. I definitely don't. So even when the offer looks genuine, we still may back off and play it safe. I personally would not initiate sex with a girl, a new girl, after alcohol has been involved. As much as it removes inhibitions, it also allows for regret.

 

 

I can see however why this girl went quiet afterwards but do wonder if the situation could've been worked out. Just because two people didn't have sex, doesn't mean they couldn't next time. Okay, say the girl feels rejected, but that's not a permanent situation and I'm sure if she liked him, then she would still be available for him. I get in this instance she ghosted not just because of that night, but also because she simply didn't feel it anymore. I'd like to think people are more than just what happens in the bedroom and relationships are built on stronger grounds then whether someone shows them a good time. That's just me though... everyone's different.

 

What's to clarify? He posted everything I said in my recent post, it was very clear. Read my post 25 which is his post stating exactly what happenrd after she woke up, and my response thereto.

 

Again. Very clear.

[smudge21]

Then she finally got up and groggily made her way to her bedroom. She saw me grab my phone and asks "are you seriously going home right now?" in a kind of upset tone. I said no, thinking I might as well stay since I was exhausted and not up for driving. So we went to bed but nothing physical was about to happen with both of us totally exhausted.

 

I don't see how "groggily made her way to her bedroom" is in anyway the same as "take me to bed and then to heaven big boy". She'd already fallen asleep once and so from there it's clear the late night/alcohol combination was in charge from there on. I do agree, I would've gone for the kiss and cuddle at least, so on that we agree on, but if both parties were "totally exhausted" then the signals were not good for anything to happen at that point.

[kendahke]

Seriously--if I had to get up early for something that I had to do, I'd have begged off of spending the night until such a time that I could be there all night long, not be knackered and give him the time of his young life.

 

Also, if she'd fallen asleep on me to the point where shaking her wouldn't have awakened her, I'd have either left her a note and left to go home or sent a text once I got home.

Edited March 24, 2016 by kendahke

[katiegrl]

Then she finally got up and groggily made her way to her bedroom. She saw me grab my phone and asks "are you seriously going home right now?" in a kind of upset tone. I said no, thinking I might as well stay since I was exhausted and not up for driving. So we went to bed but nothing physical was about to happen with both of us totally exhausted.

 

I don't see how "groggily made her way to her bedroom" is in anyway the same as "take me to bed and then to heaven big boy". She'd already fallen asleep once and so from there it's clear the late night/alcohol combination was in charge from there on. I do agree, I would've gone for the kiss and cuddle at least, so on that we agree on, but if both parties were "totally exhausted" then the signals were not good for anything to happen at that point.

 

Fair enough... however he went on to say how tired HE was, how HE needed his sleep, and how HE made it a point to sleep separated from her because that is how HE needs to sleep.

 

She, on the other hand, had just woken up and may have been raring to go! All we have is the OP's word that she was also exhausted.... but frankly given everything he wrote after he made that comment.... I have to wonder whether it was true or simply him projecting because that is how HE felt.

[Toodaloo]

Fair enough... however he went on to say how tired HE was, how HE needed his sleep, and how HE made it a point to sleep separated from her because that is how HE needs to sleep.

 

She, on the other hand, had just woken up and may have been raring to go! All we have is the OP's word that she was also exhausted.... but frankly given everything he wrote after he made that comment.... I have to wonder whether it was true or simply him projecting because that is how HE felt.

 

Hang on so he turns up at her request. She ignores him for hours and leaves him to entertain himself, going to sleep herself and basically being very rude...

 

Then because he hangs about waiting for her to the point where he is shattered and really needs some sleep that is HIS fault?

 

I repeat OP. You have not lost anything here. Let sleeping exes lie.

[katiegrl]

Seriously--if I had to get up early for something that I had to do, I'd have begged off of spending the night until such a time that I could be there all night long, not be knackered and give him the time of his young life.

 

Also, if she'd fallen asleep on me to the point where shaking her wouldn't have awakened her, I'd have either left her a note and left to go home or sent a text once I got home.

 

Also fair enough... but hey some women are weird.

 

Her pretending (which is what I think it was) to fall asleep may have been a sort of game to see if he would play Prince Charming, wake her up with a kiss and carry her into the bedroom!

 

Some women REALLY do enjoy that game believe it or not.

 

Just seems weird that she would be wide away, and then he blinks and suddenly she's sound asleep?

 

Something isn't jiving there.

[kendahke]

You can't say she pretended anything because you weren't there. OP was.

 

You don't know this chick. Op does.

[katiegrl]

Also fair enough... but hey some women are weird.

 

Her pretending (which is what I think it was) to fall asleep may have been a sort of game to see if he would play Prince Charming, wake her up with a kiss and carry her into the bedroom!

 

Some women REALLY do enjoy that game believe it or not.

 

Just seems weird that she would be wide away, and then he blinks and suddenly she's sound asleep?

 

Something isn't jiving there.

 

Nevermind I just read OP again and he said she was sleeping for four hours.

 

I am with kendahke now.... I would have left her a note and just left!

 

I now agree with smudge.... they were both at fault.

 

Next!

[kendahke]

Posting up on the couch as soon as you get home with leftovers and a beer watching Netflix doesn't bring images of a romantic evening. Candles, soft music and a glass of wine would. Oh, and not falling asleep.

[Toodaloo]

Something isn't jiving there.

 

Well its sure as s*** isn't a budding relationship that is for sure.

 

Never mind who is at "fault" how about helping the OP out a bit and encouraging him to get up and leave if it happens again. And here are some handy tips for getting over what you thought you had but actually really didn't...

 

Why does everything have to descend into a bashing session round here?

[katiegrl]

 

Never mind who is at "fault" how about helping the OP out a bit and encouraging him to get up and leave if it happens again.

 

I did...

 

Nevermind I just read OP again and he said she was sleeping for four hours.

 

I am with kendahke now.... I would have left her a note and just left!

I now agree with smudge.... they were both at fault.

 

Next!

 

.....

[smudge21]

I still think OP should've tested the water a bit, but in the moment, you just don't know how you're going to react. I had an awkward date once where the girl fell asleep - the temptation to see boob was strong, but this was before camera phones so there'd be no point. I woke her and drove her home. Yeah could've been an act, but at the time you just don't know. I stand by my point that during those initial dates, I would never have sex with someone who's had a lot of alcohol. Just too risky these days. Either way, there'll always be regret when an opportunity for some hanky panky has been missed, but in reality, maybe it was never going to happen anyway. Not everyone's into sausage...

[serial muse]

To put it bluntly, a year from now you'll probably view her as a ridiculous waste of time and hate yourself to some degree for having allowed her to get her hooks into you. It's a perfectly normal process - the oxytocin wears off and you're left w/the stark reality that she's just another mediocre person w/faults.

 

If you factor into that equation that you groveled at the end and marginalized your dignity and allowed her to walk away w/the moral high ground somehow, you'll feel even worse. Your dignity will be the most important thing to you a year from now, not the idealized image of her you're carrying around at the moment.

 

So really, just don't do it.

 

On board with all of this.

 

Also....ghosting is a dick move. I don't think the OP did anything wrong, really...he probably shouldn't have agreed to go to her place when he knew he'd have to leave in the morning, and he probably should have just left when she fell asleep and left her a note. But none of that is jerky behavior, just sort of...not sure what to do here behavior. I guess maybe it's a turnoff to some women when a guy isn't sure what to do in these scenarios, but that seems really extreme to me. I doubt he turned her off with that stuff. I think she wasn't really sure what she wanted either, frankly.

 

Meh, two dates in 4 months. Inviting me over...and then clicking on the TV and digging into some leftovers before falling asleep would have confused the heck out of me, too. Chalk this one up to a loss and to her having a lot of emotional stuff going on -- her ex could have popped up into the picture again, who knows -- and to it not being a good match for a variety of reasons.

 

And don't send the text!!

Edited March 24, 2016 by serial muse

[xyz1234]

Man, I decided to avoid coming back to this thread for a week to take my mind off of it, didn't think I'd come back to so many replies!

 

Yes of course she would be upset. I've never had a guy not stay the night and I had sex on first dates. The two are not related. I expect him to tolerate my company enough to want to have a cup of tea with me in the morning regardless whether we are serious. I'd like to think I wouldn't beg (that was a big mistake on her part) but I'd expect the man to enjoy my company enough to want to stay.

 

It seems to me she wasn't in the right place emotionally, I think she changed her mind about you. I think you've done enough to try to convince her otherwise.

 

The thing is, I totally get all that, how a girl would normally want for a guy to stay the night after being invited over and having sex. When she was begging me to come over at first I was weighing the options of whether I should or not, knowing that I had to be somewhere in the morning.

 

I figured I'd throw it out there that what would work best for me would be to go over for a little while and then head home so that I wouldn't have to deal with a 1 hour drive in yesterdays clothes in the morning. I started it by saying something like "would you hate me if...?" and she was like "no, no that's fine!" I mean, she was inviting a guy over to have sex on the second date, it didn't really lead me to believe she was type of girl to be upset about said guy having to leave afterward and being upfront about that...

 

One that jumps out at me: the fact that you only had two dates over the course of four months. You said long story, and we don't need it, but I have to assume that poor communication and logistical/scheduling challenges were involved, which can make do a magical job of making a new relationship feel like a chore - when it should feel exciting. And those exact same factors set you off course after the Netflix night.

 

With the latest setbacks, it seems like she made some mistakes of her own in failing to find time in her schedule for you, so you can't keep blaming yourself for pushing this relationship "off track."

 

I mentioned earlier but it's been long thread... it wasn't 3-4 months between dates due to scheduling issues. It was because after the first date we had another scheduled a couple weeks later and the day off she cancelled and told me she had met a guy a few weeks before me, he had asked to be exclusive, and she accepted. So we stayed friendly during that entire time and eventually she lost feelings for him and started hinting at wanting to see me again, which is what led to the second date after the long delay.

 

You keep referring her HER falling asleep but what about this (below)?

 

 

 

So no this was NOT all about her falling asleep.

 

She woke up, headed for the bedroom and was probably hoping (and expecting) to have sex with you!

 

But you were tired and fell asleep....because you needed your sleep? WTF.

 

And now you wonder why she's ghosting (lost interest)?

 

Dude, you rejected her....hell you couldn't even cuddle with her while falling asleep... you had to sleep separated?

 

Another WTF.

 

Anyway I am sure she feels totally rejected... and that is why she is ghosting now.

 

Are you actually even into this chick?

 

Never heard of a guy who was super into a chick and just started dating her.... turning down the opportunity for sex because he was tired and just had to get his sleep.

 

Gotta say, THAT is a first!

 

Hmm, I'm not sure you're understanding exactly how her actions made ME feel...

 

Things were hot and heavy in my car and she was very aggressive, and then we get to her place and she puts on Netflix and falls asleep? For 4+ hours until 6 am? And I'm left lying on the couch uncomfortable and not able to sleep the entire time, causing me to be completely exhausted when she wakes up at 6? Think about how awkward that would be in my shoes.

 

When she got up and went to her bed we barely spoke. She was the one who appeared to either have lost interest and/or was too tired to do anything but sleep, and I was exhausted as well. We got into bed and she kind of took one side and didn't get that close and at that point I was just grateful to finally get to sleep!

 

"haha?" You think that's funny? You sound like you don't know wtf you're doing. That is calling her a dick, and now you want to text her more? That kind of talk is enough to get your number blocked.

 

The way you acted and things you said makes you come off as a tool. Send another text and you'll look like a desperate one. Go ahead and see what happens, if you haven't already. Maybe you'll get lucky, but it really sounds like I'm hearing two different versions of the story here. She "begged" for sex, yet won't give you the time of day. Something went very wrong there, and if I was in your position, more text would not be the answer. It rarely is.

 

Bahaha, someone ghosts in the middle of arranging a date and gets called out for it, and I'm the bad one? I have to disagree there. I could have said way worse than that it's "kind of a dick move" and it still would have been deserving. Plus, she's the type of girl that talks that way, she's kind of the bro type in a way so I found it fitting.

[xyz1234]

I think that neither of you was really into the other and had no business going out with each other.

 

This is DEFINITELY not true. Why would I be here talking about it if I wasn't into her? It's possible she wasn't that into me, who knows, but she sure made it clear on both dates that she was into me physically, and we had great conversation as well.

 

I think they both blew it. I know there's plenty guys out there who would rush in, even given the slightest signal, but there are others who still can get all the signals but if there's the slightest bit of doubt, will back off. From what I read, they were both tired and she fell asleep first. Okay, yeah she did ask him to join her in bed but I got the impression that once there, she was quickly asleep again. Sorry but from that first moment when she fell asleep I would be reluctant to make any moves as it would tell me she didn't want to go further. Even later in bed, I'd need to see that interest build back up, maybe some cuddling and kissing, not just going back to sleep. I've had similar where I ended up in bed with a girl after a night out and we've got close but then she's turned around and just had me wrap my arms around her and held my close. That to me doesn't say "let's have sex" it says "this is all I want right now". We are all different and often struggle to read others signals, but I think in this instance, OP and his date weren't on the same page... or maybe they were in regards neither of them really wanting it that night.

 

Yeah, this is more like it I think. Well, I was awake and ready to go when we got to her place, and she totally wasn't. I think you have it about right with what happened once we got to her bed. We both passed out very quickly.

 

Did she maybe have too much to drink on the date? That could explain the Netflix & snack & pass out. Wouldn't explain the ghosting though.

 

 

I'm guessing she was put off by the fact you said you couldn't spend the night. It made you seem like a player and she opted out using Netflix & pass out. That could explain the ghosting.

 

 

Regardless, ghosting sucks. But if she didn't reply to any of your last messages, I don't see why you would bother apologizing more. Don't grovel.

 

What's really weird is it's like her reason could be two completely opposite things. She either didn't like that I didn't jump her bones even though there didn't appear to be any real opportunity with how tired she was, or she didn't like that I said I didn't want to stay the night. Really confusing.

 

She either was mad because she wanted sex and didn't get it or wanted me to stay over and be "boyfriend-ish" and thought she only got that reluctantly.

 

What's messed up is that I both wanted to have sex and would have wanted to stay the night if I had nothing to do the next morning...

 

Putting the sex issue aside, what I gathered from his posts, was when they got into bed, HE was the one who *needed* his sleep and immediately went to sleep....and made a concerted effort NOT to cuddle with her, and instead chose to sleep *separated* from her ...because that is how *he* needs to sleep.

 

I'm sorry smudge, I am imaging this scenario and that is COLD.

 

I mean to not even want to cuddle a bit? Come on.

 

I would feel more rejected by *that*, than the fact he didn't want to have sex with me.

 

I wouldn't say that that's how it went. I think it was more like she got into bed first, I followed, and she already seemed like she was asleep (she may have been). It's not like she was facing me and looking to have a little cuddle and chat. She was on the other side of the bed, eyes closed...

 

Fair point. I think we need OP to clarify. I do agree that maybe his heart wasn't in it (or indeed his other organ) and therefore any signals from her will have been missed. But from a male view point here, and one that has been in similar situations, knowing exactly what someone wants can be tricky - yes, even when the invite seems so obvious. Unless a girl is grabbing at parts, we sometimes miss the clues.

 

Oh I really don't think there were any missed signals on my part. There aren't many signals when a person is passed out, haha. And the thing is, the is a girl who WAS "grabbing at parts" in my car before we went to her place (she date that in my car after both dates actually). She's not one to be discreet with her signals...

 

Plus you have to remember that there is a viewpoint that men will take sex whenever and wherever. There's even another thread here where a girl is being invited back for dinner and is presuming that means sex. So knowing that, knowing how we're often seen to be, some of us don't want to come across like that. I definitely don't. So even when the offer looks genuine, we still may back off and play it safe. I personally would not initiate sex with a girl, a new girl, after alcohol has been involved. As much as it removes inhibitions, it also allows for regret.

 

I can see however why this girl went quiet afterwards but do wonder if the situation could've been worked out. Just because two people didn't have sex, doesn't mean they couldn't next time. Okay, say the girl feels rejected, but that's not a permanent situation and I'm sure if she liked him, then she would still be available for him. I get in this instance she ghosted not just because of that night, but also because she simply didn't feel it anymore. I'd like to think people are more than just what happens in the bedroom and relationships are built on stronger grounds then whether someone shows them a good time. That's just me though... everyone's different.

 

I agree about playing it safe when it comes to sex, especially on a second and when the time doesn't seem right at all after the passing out.

 

As far as her ghosting not because of that night but that she didn't feel it anymore... the only reason for her not to feel it anymore was that night, haha.

 

To put it bluntly, a year from now you'll probably view her as a ridiculous waste of time and hate yourself to some degree for having allowed her to get her hooks into you. It's a perfectly normal process - the oxytocin wears off and you're left w/the stark reality that she's just another mediocre person w/faults.

 

If you factor into that equation that you groveled at the end and marginalized your dignity and allowed her to walk away w/the moral high ground somehow, you'll feel even worse. Your dignity will be the most important thing to you a year from now, not the idealized image of her you're carrying around at the moment.

 

So really, just don't do it.

 

Yeah, I have realized that I've got an idealized image of her going on now, and knowing that has helped me feel a little better. I've also realized that I definitely fall for the types who play hard to get. I've been out with some pretty cool girls who clearly wanted to go out again, and not seen them again, and I think it was in large part because I found it too easy or something. Messed up...