My boyfriend and his ex.

[Eel751]

We're both in college I'm 19 and he's 20. We just recently had a week long break. His ex who was his first girlfriend lives in his town. He said he's still close with her family. He told me he visited with her family over break and he was in their house and it brought back memories. That it was the first time he's seen her in 8 months. He said she never is home at her house so her mom asked if she could come over so she did. He said he feels this way because she was his first girlfriend and I know that it's common to never forget your first love. His father recently sold him his car so he has a car now but at his house. Last time he had a car was when he was with his ex and he was so happy with her. He would slightly mention her before. He said not to worry because she has a boyfriend at college. He said they agreed to just be friends and that they'd check in on each other once a month. Of course I'm upset because I'm in love with him and we've only been together for 3 months. He said I'm the first girl since his ex to make him so happy. He said when his ex broke up with him, he was so sad and depressed for months. And I'm crying and shaking because I told him how I'm a nice person and my ex basically tried using me to have him sleep with me which I didn't do. He said he is the same way. That he gets walked all over for being nice. I told him I've never been in love before and that he makes me so happy and I thanked him for that. And I'm shaking and getting his shirt wet with my tears and he just holds me so close. I said I don't want to lose him he wraps me up and just holds me. He whispers to me to stop crying and that he's going no where. I'm still trembling and comforts me and says I don't have to worry. He sees how upset I got and he said he shouldn't of told me but I told him, thank you for telling me and that he told me so I know. Before this an hour or so, we also had really awesome sex. It was the best I've ever had. He also asked about a threesome because the sex was so good because we tried something new. (he's mentioned it before that its every guys' dream) he explained that he thinks it would help get me out of my shell and that it wouldn't be about him ****ing two girls but giving them pleasure. I don't know about that. He said if I don't want to, he would be okay with it also that it's not about ****ing another girl, because if it was, he would be out doing that. I agree it would get me out of my shell but the thought of it grosses me out. I'm scared and confused and I don't know what to do. He says he loves me in the sweetest way possible and that he's going no where but I'm so scared and vulnerable about this. What do I do? In the summer I have a feeling they'll hang out but I don't know. I'm shaking right now. I'm going to talk to him tonight and ask him if he still has feelings for her and its either he chooses me or her. She texted him and he texted her back good night last night too then when I got upset and this all started. This is stressing me out and taking away from my work I have to get done for school.

Edited March 21, 2016 by Eel751

[Steven1]

It's an awkward situation when ever this happens, but it can be viewed in a few ways. If they are truly just friends, then it comes down to possible insecurities on your side (I probably would have been the same mind you) and it's more than understandable as to why you would feel that. The threesome thing is a load of bull tbh. My girlfriend wanted a one with me and another random woman but it never happened as I was never fully comfortable with the idea to start with, and I would have been doing it as it was more her fantasy to please her than me. But if you aren't comfortable with it definitely don't do anything like it.

 

As for the main subject, it's really hard to tell, truth be told it's more than possible that they are just friends. I'm close with my ex's family as well and vice versa and chances are we will be friends in the future, it's often more the case when there are families involved from both sides. But, if it's making you uncomfortable it may well be worth talking to him about it, you don't want to come across as saying it's "her or me" that never goes down well because he may start to think that he can't have any female friends in the future.

 

Talk with him about it, if he says to you and reassures you that he has absolutely no romantic feelings for her, then it comes down to your trust in him if you believe him or not.