ZHguy Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 (edited) Insecurity, problems with my sexuality and identity, and loneliness is what I've been dealing with for a long time now. It's been six weeks now since I was referred to therapy, and I find out today that I'll need to wait four weeks until I get my first consultation. And then six weeks after that is apparently when my therapy will begin. The very thought of taking the bus somewhere to a 'centre' sounds daunting, but I'll make myself do it. I don't need to recover tomorrow, I just need someone, a friend, or a lover. This depression does not surface on the outside. I act like a confident good-looking extrovert, and I've got several professional articles online to make it appear that way if it isn't so: my depression is not hindering my social life. With regards to the first paragraph, the words 'sexuality' and 'insecurity' are pretty self-explanatory. Insecurity definitely bothers me more. But my main concern is loneliness, and how that's effected me for the past couple years. The very thought of it is depressing. I'm starting to get sick of this, and I'm losing hope. I just need somebody in my life. Edited March 21, 2016 by ZHguy 1
d0nnivain Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 I know it sounds overwhelming but you have taken the all important 1st steps. You are about to have somebody in your life & your corner: the therapist. Do what you need to do to hang in there. 1
Satu Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 snip *Insecurity, problems with my sexuality and identity, and loneliness is what I've been dealing with for a long time now. It's been six weeks now since I was referred to therapy, and I find out today that I'll need to wait four weeks until I get my first consultation. And then six weeks after that is apparently when my therapy will begin. The very thought of taking the bus somewhere to a 'centre' sounds daunting, but I'll make myself do it. I don't need to recover tomorrow, I just need someone, a friend, or a lover. This depression does not surface on the outside. I act like a confident good-looking extrovert, and I've got several professional articles online to make it appear that way if it isn't so: my depression is not hindering my social life. With regards to the first paragraph, the words 'sexuality' and 'insecurity' are pretty self-explanatory. Insecurity definitely bothers me more. But my main concern is loneliness, and how that's effected me for the past couple years. The very thought of it is depressing. I'm starting to get sick of this, and I'm losing hope. I just need somebody in my life. These issues are part of the human condition, and make themselves felt at some point in most people's lives. They are issues that can be worked on, and progress can be made. You just keep working on it and making changes. You'll get there. Take care. 2
deckard11 Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 I once thought as you did, about needing someone in my life. But time after time the people I would let into my life would eventually turn their back on me for no reason. I tried therapy as well and it was pointless. The therapist even told me I was hopeless and could do nothing for me. I hope you have better luck with therapy. Hopefully it's not state assisted like mine was. I've found that if you want good therapy then you have to pay a ridiculous amount of money.
preraph Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 Baby steps. You have to get to where loneliness doesn't overtake you or you don't see companionship as a panacea. You have to get to where you find yourself good company, enough not to bottom out when it's just you. Therapy may help that. Fingers crossed. 1
TaraMaiden2 Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 As I have said before: You're only 17. As Judge Judy is fond of saying about the young, "You're not 'fully cooked' yet". You're still a developing adolescent teenager finding his way. And it will be a while coming because you're still evolving into a man. be patient with yourself. 3
Empire87 Posted March 22, 2016 Posted March 22, 2016 Just keep telling yourself that you've been dealing with these issues and feelings for years and years..... Waiting another 6-12 weeks for your therapy to start and hopefully start resolving these issues will be a cake walk. You've done the right thing in seeking counseling, so pat yourself on the back and just try to put that little voice of depression in your head on "mute" for the next few weeks. Plus you can always seek a secondary option for therapy to start immediately. I know that if you contacted an office/therapist and mention that you are in a really bad place and need to speak with someone immediately, any good psychologist would schedule an appointment within 24-48 hrs. Ask your dr for a referral or second option if you feel you need this. Best of luck. 1
ZA Dater Posted March 22, 2016 Posted March 22, 2016 I think the one thing nobody can take away from you is the concept of hope, things will get better and you have to believe in that. Take each day as it comes and look to make progress no matter how small. 2
kolleamm Posted March 22, 2016 Posted March 22, 2016 At one point in my life depression was all I knew. I was easily one of the smartest guys around however my love life was non existent. The best thing you can do is not give up on love. Keep searching for it and keep making yourself better and better. And hey if you have free time you could solve some mysteries of the universe and get more involved in science which will keep your mind active and healthy. Science is a blessing for the nerd like me lol Don't let others define your worth, you are an important part of this universe in which we live.
TaraMaiden2 Posted March 22, 2016 Posted March 22, 2016 At one point in my life depression was all I knew. I was easily one of the smartest guys around however my love life was non existent. The best thing you can do is not give up on love. Keep searching for it and keep making yourself better and better. And hey if you have free time you could solve some mysteries of the universe and get more involved in science which will keep your mind active and healthy. Science is a blessing for the nerd like me lol Don't let others define your worth, you are an important part of this universe in which we live. We are Stardust; we are Golden.
Popsicle Posted March 22, 2016 Posted March 22, 2016 Just get through day by day. We are here for you until you can get some help. You've been incredibly strong already. 1
ZA Dater Posted March 22, 2016 Posted March 22, 2016 The important thing is to try take positive from each day, sure there will be negative but there is always some positive, its all too easy to overlook that. It can be the smallest of things. Adversity can sometimes give rise to great success.
Author ZHguy Posted March 25, 2016 Author Posted March 25, 2016 Thank you all for the kind words of support you've given to me, and even more so to those who have been there for me on LS for the past several months. Mental stability is the goal to strive for.
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