broken guy Posted June 15, 2005 Posted June 15, 2005 Things have been going pretty damn bad for me this year and things got even worse a few days ago. My Mum will be losing her house it seems due to my Fathers debts and not matter how hard I try, I just cant seem to get a decent job. Anyway, the other day, a few people were at my apartment and the question of "what is love" came up. I came up with MY answer: E and I were at an airport (Germany not too sure) and she was getting an earlier plane. I watched her get on the plane and it trafficked down to the runway. I must have looked like a dick but I ran ALL THE WAY DOWN the airport terminal corridoor alongside her plane until I ran out of space and then get stuck myself up against a window until it came into view again and flew off. I didnt move for 15 mins thereafter...that day I realized that she was the one for me. I walked back down the coridoor as I was knackered.... This silenced the room and people said they now thought a lot more of me and the twice divorced man was speechless. My friend this morning said to contact her to be my friend while this is going on, to suck it up I suppose. Another said dont to contact her. Another one said maybe. I wasnt going to beg for her back as she has the new BF and thinks she has done the right thing for herself (she lives the high life now!) but I just wanted to tell her I am upset with the way she ended it with lies (I wont tell her I found evidence of the affair as its too late for that now) and I am confused as to why she still wants me to be her friend after this. Why did she call my Mum at 2am crying as I had vanished for a few days with no contact with anyone? I would even tell her the above story, not for sympathy, but to show her that I did feel that way (I have never told her this story you see). Finally, I would LIKE to be her friend but I want her to be honest with me about why she did this and what she thinks about us now and in the future. I hope this post doesnt look too pathetic and needy, I am trying to be constructive and maybe get some closure as over a month of NC is not doing me much good, Im crying and trying to shake off images again. And yes, I still love her and yes, I would still take her back but only after a good talk. I did things wrong and so did she.
Sal Paradise Posted June 15, 2005 Posted June 15, 2005 She wants you to be her friend because she is using you and abusing you. She knows you still want her. You're always available for her every need. She has the best of both worlds, she has you emotionally, and her new guy with his cash. She is a horrible person to manipulate you this way. I strongly suggest No Contact. She isn't going to leave him for you. She doesn't have to, she has you both. And really why would you want that ungrateful, gold digging, cheating ***** back? You seem like a nice guy, go find a real woman. Go with no contact, no emails, phone calls, text messages or meeting in person. Send her 1 last email telling her you won't be her friend anymore and you don't want to hear from her ever again. Tell her you won't respond if she tries to contact you. She will try to contact you, she will use every dirty trick in the bool to keep you in her life. Thats what users do. Don't fall for it.
Author broken guy Posted June 15, 2005 Author Posted June 15, 2005 As much as that reply IS good advice, I KNOW she is not a gold digger. She has not attempted to contact me at all apart from when I had gone missing, she called to see if I was still alive (I just went away to be alone as life is being a poo-head to me this year) and I just said I was busy and hung up. She has not been contacting me but said its because she knows I have to heal and that she can no longer help me with my problems at home and here. I still think its guilt partly. I was thinking of saying that I dont see how a friend can do what she did but by saying dont contact me anymore seems odd seeing as she hasnt (apart from the aforementioned incident). I was thinking it would be my last goodbye.. By the way, is my airport story a good one to tell?
Sal Paradise Posted June 15, 2005 Posted June 15, 2005 You mean tell the story to her? Nah it will make you look weak in her eyes. Let her go, she isn't worth it. Being her friend will only put your life on hold. You will never get over her if you do that.
Author broken guy Posted June 18, 2005 Author Posted June 18, 2005 Im kind of on the edge again today. I has told how worried she was went I went on an unannounced holiday for a few days last week and told no one of my whereabouts and contacted no one. She said it as out of character for me to do this (it was) and she called me and was so happy that I wasnt dead, I just said I was busy and put the phone down. She has said she knows she cant help me anymore to my friend yet I am still left wondering what to do. I have not contacted her for over a month now and I am always wondering if I should. Maybe just to ask why she wants to be my friend and why she reacted in the way she did when I went away. Maybe to ask how she would want to persue a friendship with me as I have no idea apart from watching a film together or hanging out for a few hours...until she sees the new BFBF (Big Fat Boy Friend). Just something cool and innocent.....
WhoSaidThat Posted June 18, 2005 Posted June 18, 2005 The best advice I can give for you is to go strict NC for a while. Don't contact her or even try. If she sends you and email,text,voicemail, or even calls, do not answer it. Ignore it, delete and think about and do something else. It will be hard the first couple of times but it will get easier. Do things to keep you busy like exercise, go for walks, read a book, watch a funny movie, just anything to keep your mind occupied. She just wants to know that you are still there in case she needs something to fall back on, don't let it happen because it will be 10x worse the next time you split up.
Author broken guy Posted June 18, 2005 Author Posted June 18, 2005 No, she wont come back to me ever! She said that to my face, thats pretty much the only thing she said, the rest was in a crappy email Its horrid that she treated me this way in the end and she has got away with it. Her family congratulated her, her friends and herself for her actions. I think deep down she KNOWS what she did to me was totally wrong and I didnt deserve to be treated that way in the end, to lie to me and lead me on and say she hoped time would sort this out and that she battled with her decision to dump me. She cant have tried too hard as she as hanging around with the new BF whilst I thought she as still with me. Then to CONTINUE to lie to me in the emails about not seeing anyone and then AGAIN when I call her from the UK is sick. This is why I cant understand why I still would forgive her and take her back after a BIG chat. OK, I did things wrong too but NO WAY would I have dumped her like this (if I was to dump her that is). I also need to kick her arse at air-hockey! Last 2 times we played she beat me for the 1st times EVER! Cow..
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