whyno Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 Met a girl through a mutual friend. We hangout, text, talk in person and over the phone daily for weeks. I start to have feelings and decided to ask her out on a date. She agrees but bails out without any notice. So I ghosted (hate using this word but it's appropriate) her and promised to maintain the NC. Two weeks later, she visits me unexpectedly on the Saturday before Valentine's Day to apologize for the no show no call on our agreed date. I asked her why the bail out and why the apology now? She tells me that she only liked the "hangouts" and not a date because she isn't looking for a relationship. Why now? She doesn't answer straight up but says her "bestie" is out of town. So what do I do? Accepted the apology and gave this a second chance of something to happen from nothing. So we hang out over the weekend together and talked/texted on days afterwards. Interest was mutual thru our messaging, hangouts, and talks you know like I would usually initiate the texts, hangouts, calls more so than her but she definitely reciprocated and initiated herself. So now I'm thinking, I'll give this another shot and ask her out on a real date. We talked on the phone alot but texting was standard on a daily so I brought up the date thru text. I suggested dinner at a fancy spot and she couldn't give me a straight up answer. Again. No NO, no Yes, no um, maybe. Nothing. She just changed topics....smh. Here I go again. Back to the ghosting again. We started out as hangout-ers to maybe friends with benefits who talked/texted on a daily, to now nothing. Nothing to nothing really. I knew nothing good would come from someone as flaky as her but I tried. We had chemistry but I wanted to date her and she just wanted to hang out before she found someone new. I'm definitely butthurt (poor word choice) because I had expectations and that's my fault but I thought she was worth it. Oh well. Sucks but I'm slowly moving on. Comments, thoughts, and whatever is accepted here. Thanks for reading. Had to vent somehow. 1
jen1447 Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 No big yanks, ppl are gonna disappoint you. The trick is not to assume everyone else will after they do. 1
todreaminblue Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 I am sorry it didnt work out with her......as jen wrote...doesnt mean the next time you try with someone else they will do the same thing she did...and i wish you well..deb 1
Author whyno Posted March 21, 2016 Author Posted March 21, 2016 No big yanks, ppl are gonna disappoint you. The trick is not to assume everyone else will after they do. You're right but it's not pleasantly easy to do when it happens alot. 1
Author whyno Posted March 21, 2016 Author Posted March 21, 2016 I am sorry it didnt work out with her......as jen wrote...doesnt mean the next time you try with someone else they will do the same thing she did...and i wish you well..deb Thank you deb. It is what it is right? Lol. Just have to let it burn and move on. 1
basil67 Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 She explained that she wigged out on the first date because she's not looking for a relationship. So then you decide to give it another chance and ask her on a second date - of course she's going to wig out again. What part of "I'm not looking for a relationship" do you not understand? When she came with the explanation, all you needed to do is tell her that you're not looking for a friendship and be done with her. 1
preraph Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 She's not attracted to you enough to want to date you. Just ghost her. In the future don't wait so long to make your intentions known. She thought you just wanted to be friends for too long because you weren't honest and up front about wanting to date her soon enough. 1
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