cjt1 Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 Hi I'm new to this but I'm really trying to figure out what the best path to chose is and could really use some help. I'm 17 and me and my girlfriend have been dating for a little over three months. I know this is not along time but to be uts felt like an eternity. Up until about three days ago I had never even considered ending our relationship but after thinking for a while reality set in. Here's the deal, we go to different schools, her parents are divorced so every other weekend she is out of town with her dad, I play soccer and my training schedule is 5:30-9pm Monday-Thursday. So with this I am limited to seeing her once maybe twice every two weeks. This is extremely difficult on me and she doesn't say it is but I know it has to be tough on her as well. On top of this she cannot drive yet so I'm always the one driving 30 minutes there and back on top of always being the one to make plans and initiate us hanging out. Seeing my friends in there relationships with girls they can be with as often as they want make me sinfully jealous. I love this girl and she loves me but truthfully she feels like a stranger to me and we when we are able to be together I feel like there's so much she's hiding and almost like she's not really comfortable/100% open with me. If you need any other details let me know but any advice at all would be greatly appreciated! I look forward to any help at all. Thank you and God bless!
Flower1212 Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 All relationships have tough times..if you leave her and date someone closer another problem will arise and you will be right back on here asking the same question.If you love her you will work it out. Im guessing you dont love her because if you did 30 mins would not matter becasue ud want to see her so bad. You would be happy to drive thay far to see her. Relationships will always have reasons to leave. But it's ur decision. Do you want instant pleasure or a lasting relationship? I realize that people now adays cant handle being in relationships. My grandparents lived in two seperate continents. My granny was in the UK and my granpa was in the USA. They wrote letters and talked on the phone back and forth for 2 years and he waited for her and they have been together for 50 years.They have so many stories to tell. If he left my grandma i probably wouldnt be here. 30 mins is not that far. My boyfriend lives an hour away to see me... ur lucky. People have no idea what love is. Its not leaving someone because they are too far... its staying because you cant be without them and you want to eventually be closer together knowing the distance wont be forever. 1
rbrt1986 Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 I'm with flower. If you really love a girl, you'd walk across the country to see her. Driving 30 minutes would be no big deal. I don't think you love this girl, you love having a girl. 1
mightycpa Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 (edited) You're very young, so I want you to pay attention to this wisdom I'm about to give you. Never feel guilty about breaking up a relationship if that's what you want to do. You don't even need good reasons - you just need reasons that are good enough for you. Many people will pass judgment on you for it, and those judgments may be unkind. But they don't have to live with your decisions. You do, so make these decisions for you. If you have a desire to cut things off or to slow things down, then believe me when I say you're doing both of you a favor by not dragging things out. It may not feel like it immediately, but an honest policy is the best. That said, taken to its extremes, doing this can make you a flaky person. It's one thing to decide you've had enough because of a 30 minute drive when you've dated for 3 months, and another if you've dated for 3 years. In the first case, it's all relatively new, and you're figuring out that this isn't for you. Fine. In the latter case, either you have not spoken up for a long time (very unfair) or you bail for very small bumps in the road. While doing that is perfectly within your rights, it doesn't make it right. So, why you get out is a fairly delicate balancing act if you're a decent fellow. But even if you've made bad decisions to get you where you are, if you can't stand it, then you can't stand it. Love isn't a prison sentence until you get married, and even then, all you've really done is raise your threshold for what you're willing to put up with. As to your particular situation, you're young and the two of you have barely tried what life has to offer. Go ahead and break up with her, but be nice and manly about it. Take some of that face time that is difficult to get and look her in the eye and say what you have to say. Don't mince your words, and don't soften the blow with empty promises about the future. This is probably going to be tough on her, so have a little sympathy. You may not be able to understand what she's going to go through, but one day you will, and you're not going to like it. So be kind, but don't be equivocal about it. Be firm. Answer her questions. Then leave her alone. Don't be her friend for a while, let her decide when that's ok. Don't give in to any begging either. That doesn't always happen, but sometimes it does. Don't give in, and don't have sex if she offers that in response. Later, she'll appreciate it, and so will you. OK, good luck. Edited March 21, 2016 by mightycpa 1
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