Mirage10 Posted March 12, 2016 Posted March 12, 2016 She started seeing this guy before she told you she wanted a divorce, odds of this is 99.999% She is telling friends and family she met him after she asked for a divorce, because she wants to save face. 1
Author TextnHate Posted March 15, 2016 Author Posted March 15, 2016 Well tonight we started packing our stuff up. It was real brutal. We were going threw pictures and came across our wedding album. I broke down in tears instantly. Also another blow is she told me her new boyfriend has met our son. Tonight has been devastating. I knew moving would be hard but guys its almost to much to bare. Seeing how empty she looks sat me is just so hard. I got a house im going to rent and moving in two weeks. Will be me and my son. The pictures were just so hard to look at. She has told me I should look into dating. Which is crazy since she told me no longer then a month ago how hard it owuld be for her to know I had a girlfriend. Maybe she is just moving on a lot faster then I am. I have dabbed around but it honestly is very depressing. Most girls that show interest im not attracted to in the least bit. My world is still spinning two months later. Im ready to move out.
Mr. Lucky Posted March 15, 2016 Posted March 15, 2016 She has told me I should look into dating. Which is crazy since she told me no longer then a month ago how hard it owuld be for her to know I had a girlfriend. Maybe she is just moving on a lot faster then I am. I have dabbed around but it honestly is very depressing. Most girls that show interest im not attracted to in the least bit. My world is still spinning two months later. Im ready to move out. There's no need to move faster than you feel comfortable doing. I didn't date for a year after my separation, just wasn't ready. Family, friends, work, exercise - lather, rinse, repeat. Focus on building your emotional and physical health, have fun with your son. When the time comes to step out, you'll know... Mr. Lucky
oldshirt Posted March 15, 2016 Posted March 15, 2016 You haven't said anything about lawyers, paperwork, court dates, finances, custody arrangements etc etc etc yet. Do you even have a lawyer yet??? Have you done anything that the people here have been advising you? This ship has sailed. She has been upfront and honest with you. She has told you where you stand and has shown you her cards. Start believing it and get busy. This is now all about legalities and business. Stop dribbling on about feelings and dating and other men and whether she has been nice to you or not. Your needs at the moment are to protect yourself, your assets, your business and your relationship with your child. There are two things you need to do now and two things only - #1 - get a lawyer. #2 - do what the lawyer says. Focus solely on the business and legalities of your imminent divorce. Don't do anything that take time, energy or money away from that. 1
PegNosePete Posted March 15, 2016 Posted March 15, 2016 There are two things you need to do now and two things only - #1 - get a lawyer. #2 - do what the lawyer says. Quoted for truth. But I'd also add: #3 - when your wife shares her "life wisdom" such as whether you should be dating or not, tell her to mind her own business.
oldshirt Posted March 15, 2016 Posted March 15, 2016 Quoted for truth. But I'd also add: #3 - when your wife shares her "life wisdom" such as whether you should be dating or not, tell her to mind her own business. Not that I disagree with you at all, but I don't think that she was intending to meddle in his business at all. I think she was saying that to indicate to him that the marriage is in fact dead and that any energy he puts in to trying to resurrect their relationship is simply an inconvenience to her and that she would prefer he direct his energies elsewhere. I think her saying that to him is a message, not an interference to his life or any kind of meddling into his affairs. I think she is minding her own business........completely.
ladydesigner Posted March 15, 2016 Posted March 15, 2016 Well tonight we started packing our stuff up. It was real brutal. We were going threw pictures and came across our wedding album. I broke down in tears instantly. Also another blow is she told me her new boyfriend has met our son. Tonight has been devastating. I knew moving would be hard but guys its almost to much to bare. Seeing how empty she looks sat me is just so hard. I got a house im going to rent and moving in two weeks. Will be me and my son. The pictures were just so hard to look at. She has told me I should look into dating. Which is crazy since she told me no longer then a month ago how hard it owuld be for her to know I had a girlfriend. Maybe she is just moving on a lot faster then I am. I have dabbed around but it honestly is very depressing. Most girls that show interest im not attracted to in the least bit. My world is still spinning two months later. Im ready to move out. Who introduces their son to their new boyfriend when they're not even divorced yet . Kids shouldn't even be introduced until it becomes an actual REAL relationship at least a year. geez 1
sandylee1 Posted March 15, 2016 Posted March 15, 2016 Who introduces their son to their new boyfriend when they're not even divorced yet . Kids shouldn't even be introduced until it becomes an actual REAL relationship at least a year. geez Cheaters with no consideration do this. More of their selfishness. 1
elaine567 Posted March 15, 2016 Posted March 15, 2016 She has told me I should look into dating. Which is crazy since she told me no longer then a month ago how hard it owuld be for her to know I had a girlfriend. Maybe she is just moving on a lot faster then I am. I have dabbed around but it honestly is very depressing. Most girls that show interest im not attracted to in the least bit. My world is still spinning two months later. Im ready to move out. She most likely has been "divorcing you" for weeks, months, even years, she only told you once her mind was totally made up and so she is miles ahead of you emotionally, the dumper usually is. The dumpee in contrast is blind sided, shocked and confused - your world has just been turned upside down. She knew it was coming and hence was prepared well in advance.
Author TextnHate Posted March 21, 2016 Author Posted March 21, 2016 She most likely has been "divorcing you" for weeks, months, even years, she only told you once her mind was totally made up and so she is miles ahead of you emotionally, the dumper usually is. The dumpee in contrast is blind sided, shocked and confused - your world has just been turned upside down. She knew it was coming and hence was prepared well in advance. Ya I think this is right, basically I think she has been preparing for this about 5 months prior to her telling me. But her telling me to start dating or whatever she said, I dont even remember now is so I start getting over it. She has completely 100% moved on from me. Her new boyfriend and her are getting pretty serious pretty fast. Its whatever now, cant do anything about it. Have I gotten a lawyer, no. I have spending all my time working and going to the gym. All my money has been going into the new place. Yes I should be protecting myself but as far as assest go we dont have alot. Like I said the biggest argument we had was who got the kitchen table and that lasted about 1 minute. We agreed on terms for the kid which took about five minutes. Its not a complicated divorce or break up. Emotionally it is but logistically it isnt. I move in 5 days and couldnt be more excited. This apartment is a soul crusher.
Author TextnHate Posted March 21, 2016 Author Posted March 21, 2016 (edited) << moderator note: this post has been merged into an earlier thread for context >> So I got out of a 9 year relationship which 5 of those I was married. So I have been fiddling with POF and this app is a train wreck. Women are about as flaky as it gets and im about to give up. Well I messaged this girl Friday about some common interest we have and Saturday morning she messages me back. This girl is pretty good looking and I am kind of surprised she messaged me. Well we are talking about photography which we both love. After about 30 minutes she gives me her number without even asking for it. We text constantly back and forth for 4 hours. Well come to find out she is recently divorced and we are relating on a lot of things together. I ask if she would like to meet up and she says of course. I ask to meet up the following week but she wants to meet up that afternoon. Im thinking holy **** this is awesome. So we meet up at the coffee shop at the mall and are planing on going to different spots were we like to take photos. We are really hitting it off and connecting on a lot of different subjects regarding our past relationships. As we driving around she even suggest making alittle trip about 30 minutes away to a very beatific little town. I had to decline cause I had to get back home soon. Well I asked if she wanted to get lunch and she instantly said of course. When eating lunch we really got into deep conversation about our past and our family's. Making lots of eye contact. To me atleast I was feeling very connected her very quickly. One thing she did mention was that she wants to become friends with someone first before committing to a relationship cause she has been burned a lot recently. She said she gets very vulnerable and doesn't want to get hurt again. I explained I completely understood. As we drove back she was talking and it honestly appeared she didnt want the encounter to end. She was just kind of driving around the parking lot really slow back to my car. As we got back to mentioned I was having a house warming party in a couple weeks and it would be great if she could come. She just said thanks for the invite and that was it. We hugged and I left. Now I texted her a few hours later saying thanks for the great date and I look forward to talking to her again. She said she was glad and she had a great time. So the next day I texted her around noon just saying good day. We chit chated about photography stuff for a bit and then I asked about meeting up again. She basically didnt answer for awhile then said Ya I got my kids all week and ill be gone next weekend. Well she told me on the date that she can have people over her house when her kids go to bed. Just seemed her attitude kind of changed about meeting up, doesn't seem excited about it anymore like before. Now should I text her anymore or just wait and see if she writes me back? One other thing while we were on the date, some guy kept texting her and she said she felt bad cause she didnt know how to let him know she wasn't interested. She was humoring him for like a week. Am I going be that guy? I have no idea. Edited March 21, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
strawberryshortstack Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 So I got out of a 9 year relationship which 5 of those I was married. So I have been fiddling with POF and this app is a train wreck. Women are about as flaky as it gets and im about to give up. Well I messaged this girl Friday about some common interest we have and Saturday morning she messages me back. This girl is pretty good looking and I am kind of surprised she messaged me. Well we are talking about photography which we both love. After about 30 minutes she gives me her number without even asking for it. We text constantly back and forth for 4 hours. Well come to find out she is recently divorced and we are relating on a lot of things together. I ask if she would like to meet up and she says of course. I ask to meet up the following week but she wants to meet up that afternoon. Im thinking holy **** this is awesome. So we meet up at the coffee shop at the mall and are planing on going to different spots were we like to take photos. We are really hitting it off and connecting on a lot of different subjects regarding our past relationships. As we driving around she even suggest making alittle trip about 30 minutes away to a very beatific little town. I had to decline cause I had to get back home soon. Well I asked if she wanted to get lunch and she instantly said of course. When eating lunch we really got into deep conversation about our past and our family's. Making lots of eye contact. To me atleast I was feeling very connected her very quickly. One thing she did mention was that she wants to become friends with someone first before committing to a relationship cause she has been burned a lot recently. She said she gets very vulnerable and doesn't want to get hurt again. I explained I completely understood. As we drove back she was talking and it honestly appeared she didnt want the encounter to end. She was just kind of driving around the parking lot really slow back to my car. As we got back to mentioned I was having a house warming party in a couple weeks and it would be great if she could come. She just said thanks for the invite and that was it. We hugged and I left. Now I texted her a few hours later saying thanks for the great date and I look forward to talking to her again. She said she was glad and she had a great time. So the next day I texted her around noon just saying good day. We chit chated about photography stuff for a bit and then I asked about meeting up again. She basically didnt answer for awhile then said Ya I got my kids all week and ill be gone next weekend. Well she told me on the date that she can have people over her house when her kids go to bed. Just seemed her attitude kind of changed about meeting up, doesn't seem excited about it anymore like before. Now should I text her anymore or just wait and see if she writes me back? One other thing while we were on the date, some guy kept texting her and she said she felt bad cause she didnt know how to let him know she wasn't interested. She was humoring him for like a week. Am I going be that guy? I have no idea. 1. It's probably too soon to invite her to a housewarming party, where I assume many of your friends will be. It's only been one date so far. 2. It's also too soon to expect to be hanging out at her house after her kids go to bed. Try asking her on a date where you'll be in public, without her kids sleeping in the next room(s) over, or with your friends there to make her uncomfortable.
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