Phoenician Posted March 22, 2016 Posted March 22, 2016 op , In any relationship there are 3 fundamental aspects . -Chemistry . -maturity . -givology . Your BF doesn't have any , he could be a nice guy for a short relationship , I am not sure how much beautiful you are ,but my belief is that every woman has something beautifull in her . The smart man is one who makes his lady looks like a queen even if she is not very beautiful. You are not obese , you are just with curves , like a real venus dump him , he doesn't deserve you , i am sure that a real man will find you super sexy , even if you gain a bit more or become 60 yrs old . that Adam is your man .
Leigh 87 Posted March 22, 2016 Posted March 22, 2016 I feel fortunate that I can find men who DO love my body type. I dated a guy who wasn't that into my looks once and it was painful and I am scarred years later. Then the guy after that admitted that I was very ordinary and he only saw me as beautiful because he loved me He assured me that I'd never find a man who would worship me the way my very attractive friend had found in her bf. Well I ended up only focusing my efforts on men who actually PREFERRED my body type!!!!!! And despite not having the physique of a model, I STILL managed to find sooooo many men who actually PREFERRED my body type to that of slimmer women. There ARE men out there who are into ALL body types. I have heard of heaaaaaaps of men.. Hot men... Who LOVE extra junk in the trunk LOL. This guy is gunna realise that something is missing. YOU are going to feel as though something is just "missing" between you. You will watch music videos and see couples making out and cry because you wish you and your partner had that level of passion. Pick men who really go nuts over your body. You're not old yet. At your age, passion and chemistry are important. It is going to be all around you in the form of other people who you both find to be your " type". Guess which one of you is going to stray???? You seem into him but he just isn't enamoired with you. You can be much happier. I've walked in your shoes and it doesn't get better from my own experience. Me and the dudes who werent that into my looks are now all happily coupled up. 3
Ferret Posted March 22, 2016 Posted March 22, 2016 Yes having red hair is an Irish characteristic, as is my blonde hair being a northern European characteristic. Typically, not always. Those things can be based on one's ethnicity, but "not" having a thigh gap. Again there is just no evidence that suggests that is true except maybe you know a few a few Asian women that have one, but there are many women from other nationalities that have them as well. This entire convo is just so silly anyway... having a thigh gap/not having a thigh gap means jack shyt in the grand scheme of things. Actually it wasn't me that was commenting on it being a Asian thing in the start I was responding to a poster who had made that comment honestly I myself never see thigh gaps much but then again I guess im also not looking.. Along those lines tho body type can come from ethnicity I mean look at the Brazilian booty's..lol and lets face it your not going to find a lot of built tall Asian men ether yet its more common in other areas of the world? Im not arguing it I just think its a interesting line of discussion over all. Your right at the end of the day tho thigh gap or not it really doesn't change the person themselves so yeah it kinda is a bit silly but then I also think hounding a girl cause she put on 10 pounds after a preg is also just ludicrous..so I hope the OP can find some peace in all this silliness..
introverted1 Posted March 22, 2016 Posted March 22, 2016 There has been a lot of threads where people condemned the behavior of a girl/woman and adviced the Op to dump her. Why must there always be someone who comes and whines "boohoo what about men, what about reversed roles" if people defend the girl. Sure, offer a different take on a situation, but it seems to me that some male posters are trying to make an impression that guys are oppressed or something. They're not. Especially not on these forums. Please point me to one thread where a man said that his gf found him unattractive based on the same "evidence" as presented here (that previous SOs looked different), and where the gf was turning down sex after having a baby, and people encouraged him to dump her as a result. p.s. I am female and the double standard bothers me regardless which side is guilty of it.
amaysngrace Posted March 22, 2016 Posted March 22, 2016 Thigh gaps make your legs look like arms and doesn't look very cuddly.
Lorenza Posted March 22, 2016 Posted March 22, 2016 Please point me to one thread where a man said that his gf found him unattractive based on the same "evidence" as presented here (that previous SOs looked different), and where the gf was turning down sex after having a baby, and people encouraged him to dump her as a result. p.s. I am female and the double standard bothers me regardless which side is guilty of it. You do realize the men and women aren't equality sensitive to things? Women experience way more pressure from society and various medias to look a certain way than men, while men are pressured into other things - financial success, strength etc. We have to take some things into account before speaking about double standarts. I have seen threads where guys were advised to dump the girlsl who belittles their status or looks, acts crazy and childish, takes offense at their jokes, etc etc
No_Go Posted March 22, 2016 Posted March 22, 2016 I disagree here. If we're talking financial equality, equality with house chores, parenting etc, why not for looks?? I think I am attractive but this will NEVER be the first thing to be proud about, it is just nature. I'd rather be complimented for my professional achievement, heck I invested 12 years of blood and tears for my degrees... If someone tells me, 'hey, you gained some weight', haha I'll find it amusing if we're talking few pounds, or take a note of it was more. Same for make up, clothes, shoes etc. I just will never get how professional women take offense/pride mainly on looks.... You do realize the men and women aren't equality sensitive to things? Women experience way more pressure from society and various medias to look a certain way than men, while men are pressured into other things - financial success, strength etc. We have to take some things into account before speaking about double standarts. I have seen threads where guys were advised to dump the girlsl who belittles their status or looks, acts crazy and childish, takes offense at their jokes, etc etc 1
introverted1 Posted March 22, 2016 Posted March 22, 2016 You do realize the men and women aren't equality sensitive to things? Women experience way more pressure from society and various medias to look a certain way than men, while men are pressured into other things - financial success, strength etc. We have to take some things into account before speaking about double standarts. The OP has not indicated that the bf has done anything for her to be sensitive about except not wanting as much sex. I agree that she needs to find out WHY he has backed off sex. But when she compares herself to his exes -- something he has NOT done -- she is the one feeding her own sensitivity and it is hypocritical at best to lay the blame for this at his feet.
GenuineAttraction Posted March 22, 2016 Posted March 22, 2016 Hey everybody the issue isn't about thigh gap! Can we actually help her?
Shining One Posted March 22, 2016 Posted March 22, 2016 After reading this thread, I'm glad all of my exes have so many differing body types. No woman I'm dating can look at them and then determine that her body is not my type.
FromSunToMoonlitSnow Posted March 23, 2016 Posted March 23, 2016 I have to admit, I’d be feeling insecure with the comments your BF is making and the comparisons you’re making. Because I’ve been there. I know what it’s like to be embarrassed about your body and wondering about/comparing yourself to ex’s. Is it possible you could spend some time getting comfortable again in your own skin and understanding your great value? Then, maybe you could talk to your BF about why he verbalizes these things to you. Do they really represent how he feels? Or, is he panicking about fatherhood and trying to push you away? (Not sure how old your baby is.) You didn’t mention how long you’ve been together, so I wasn’t sure about whether this just started or has always been his attitude? I sincerely hope you can embrace how great you are, just as you are.
Lorenza Posted March 23, 2016 Posted March 23, 2016 I disagree here. If we're talking financial equality, equality with house chores, parenting etc, why not for looks?? I think I am attractive but this will NEVER be the first thing to be proud about, it is just nature. I'd rather be complimented for my professional achievement, heck I invested 12 years of blood and tears for my degrees... If someone tells me, 'hey, you gained some weight', haha I'll find it amusing if we're talking few pounds, or take a note of it was more. Same for make up, clothes, shoes etc. I just will never get how professional women take offense/pride mainly on looks.... Because men aren't the main target for their looks. I'm for equality but I'm not blind to a plain fact that women statistically spend more money on clothes, cosmetics and plastic surgeries than men. Beauty standards rely mainly on bussiness so women naturally are pressured into spending money on looking a certain way
No_Go Posted March 23, 2016 Posted March 23, 2016 They spend more because of their insecurities. Market follows customer's needs. Being super sensitive to an issue suggests that it is one's main source of pride and/or insecurities. But I see you have a point - women invest more in their looks, so they expect higher return (I.e. attention, approval). Because men aren't the main target for their looks. I'm for equality but I'm not blind to a plain fact that women statistically spend more money on clothes, cosmetics and plastic surgeries than men. Beauty standards rely mainly on bussiness so women naturally are pressured into spending money on looking a certain way
Cinnamonstix Posted March 23, 2016 Posted March 23, 2016 They spend more because of their insecurities. Market follows customer's needs. Being super sensitive to an issue suggests that it is one's main source of pride and/or insecurities. But I see you have a point - women invest more in their looks, so they expect higher return (I.e. attention, approval). And women are more "insecure" as you say, because society places more pressure on women to be beautiful, as Lorenza is saying. In general, it matters more to a woman to be seen as beautiful and desirable by her partner than it does to a man. Not saying that men don't want to be desired, but it's just not as important as it is to women. Said another way, men are less concerned as to whether or not their gf's think they are hot as long as she is with him and shows sexual desire for him. However, women want to be sexually desired AND they want to be beautiful to their man... and ideally, the *most* beautiful to their man.
BeholdtheMan Posted March 23, 2016 Posted March 23, 2016 He thinks a thigh gap is very sexy, sexiest thing possible on a woman. I don't have that, at all. I concur...instant rock hard erection when I see a nice ass plus thigh gap
elaine567 Posted March 23, 2016 Posted March 23, 2016 I concur...instant rock hard erection when I see a nice ass plus thigh gap And how is that helpful to the OP???? smh 1
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