ZHguy Posted March 20, 2016 Posted March 20, 2016 She broke down crying today speaking of slight envy and a feeling of injustice. For the past 11 years she has been the brave and optimistic strength in our family's ordeal. To see her crumbling like that is shocking and impacting. She expressed resentment against our absence of fatherhood (he went away 11 years ago), which effects me. It's made me cry, as well as insecurity, loneliness, identity, sexuality, etc depression. I never told her. Apparently, her recent depression is because my sister and I cry behind her back (always true for me). Her family is super emotional and close. My relationship with her has been relatively distant for a few years now, so no emotional therapy bonding possible there. I've just gotten over the portion of my depression based around absence of fatherhood. But now she's hurdling me back into the blues, and I can't have it. I burst into tears of joy the other day for the first time in my whole life. And now this? Help? I'm a 17 male senior who's actually just started overcoming his depression (+ 25 hours of studying plus school (which hasn't caused me any stress due to my early start and large improvement in my studies ) Help!?
Tayla Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 your mom is human. Amazing to watch a stoic figure be vulnerable. I imagine she carries much burdens as a single parent. Be blessed that she is able to express this side. What would you like from us here that read this? 2
todreaminblue Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 being a single mother means you take on both parenting roles...and its hard....its hard to be strong all the time when its hardest for me is the end of the day...in bed at night ....not being able to talk to the person next to you about all your fears your worries...your dreams...your hopes.....and have them reciprocated because that person next to you ...is going through exactly the same things that you are....this time of aloneness is where prayers are good.....and god truly cares.say some prayers for your mum..let her know you are there for her..... rejoice in your mum for who she is...in spite of her flaws.....or even for her flaws....rejoice for her strength and for giving birth to you and raising you best she could.....she didnt give up on you ......dont give up on her...she will come through it.....with your support and understanding....that is why god put us in families...it is our own little protection space from the world .. i wish you well with your studies.....stay strong.....things have away of working out.remember that if nothing else......even when you dont see the way yourself....everything in life ...every action..even every non action we or our loved ones do..has a purpose...a reason for happening....that fact....makes me feel strength in my own weakness.....strength from within....i hope it does for you too....good luck.........deb 1
basil67 Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 I'd say that your mother has possibly done herself a disservice by not showing her weakness earlier. You've only ever seen her as invincible when in reality, she's a human with all the emotions which come along with that. I suspect that your mother has given you a lot of support. May I suggest that you take a turn to support her? Give her a hug and remind her that you will all get through it together. 2
circlesinfinity Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 She broke down crying today speaking of slight envy and a feeling of injustice. For the past 11 years she has been the brave and optimistic strength in our family's ordeal. To see her crumbling like that is shocking and impacting. She expressed resentment against our absence of fatherhood (he went away 11 years ago), which effects me. It's made me cry, as well as insecurity, loneliness, identity, sexuality, etc depression. I never told her. Apparently, her recent depression is because my sister and I cry behind her back (always true for me). Her family is super emotional and close. My relationship with her has been relatively distant for a few years now, so no emotional therapy bonding possible there. I've just gotten over the portion of my depression based around absence of fatherhood. But now she's hurdling me back into the blues, and I can't have it. I burst into tears of joy the other day for the first time in my whole life. And now this? Help? I'm a 17 male senior who's actually just started overcoming his depression (+ 25 hours of studying plus school (which hasn't caused me any stress due to my early start and large improvement in my studies ) Help!? I know that is your mom but I think you may have to keep your distance for a while. I have been through some of what you said before and it is not fair that your mom triggers your depression. Everyone is an individual and as one you have a right to be a little selfish from time to time. You should treat yourself for getting over part of your depression and move on to removing the others while being into yourself. I hope this helps.
MissCongeniality Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 your mom is human. Amazing to watch a stoic figure be vulnerable. I imagine she carries much burdens as a single parent. Be blessed that she is able to express this side. What would you like from us here that read this? Exactly. Speaking as a mother I'm not perfect by any means I try not to let my kids see how I struggle but it's not possible to do. Learn to appreciate your mother and what she does.
TaraMaiden2 Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 She broke down crying today speaking of slight envy and a feeling of injustice. For the past 11 years she has been the brave and optimistic strength in our family's ordeal. To see her crumbling like that is shocking and impacting. She expressed resentment against our absence of fatherhood (he went away 11 years ago), which effects me. It's made me cry, as well as insecurity, loneliness, identity, sexuality, etc depression. I never told her. Apparently, her recent depression is because my sister and I cry behind her back (always true for me). Her family is super emotional and close. My relationship with her has been relatively distant for a few years now, so no emotional therapy bonding possible there. I see absolutely no reason why not, save your own reluctance or disbelief in its possibility. I've just gotten over the portion of my depression based around absence of fatherhood. But now she's hurdling me back into the blues, and I can't have it. She has done nothing to deserve this accusation. You are transferring responsibility for your own thought-processes onto her. That is unfair. The title of your thread is misleading, and IF the intention was to garner sympathy by blaming her, I consider the wording misguided.... I burst into tears of joy the other day for the first time in my whole life. And now this? Help? I'm a 17 male senior who's actually just started overcoming his depression (+ 25 hours of studying plus school (which hasn't caused me any stress due to my early start and large improvement in my studies ) Help!? You're still extremely young, vulnerable and reckless. It's natural for a young man of your age to react on impulse and project. It's not your fault, it's the way you are wired. But you need professional support and help. And to convince yourself that an emotional reconciliation with your mother is impossible, is both hasty and incorrect. I hope you can find the right support to facilitate improvement. Be well. 1
Author ZHguy Posted March 21, 2016 Author Posted March 21, 2016 It was last night and I wrote this in a frustrated rush. Of course my depression is not her fault. Our distance began with an event (the event itself lasted seven plus months) a few years ago: it has gotten better, but the 'bettering' stopped a couple years ago, which means things can never get as good as it was 'pre-event'. But put that aside. She said what sparked this feeling was finding out that my sister was very sad for a short period of time some months back, even though things got even better than they ever were for my sister. Was she really reacting because we express our sorrows 'outside the dinner table'? I'm not going to talk to her about my sexuality (which is not a major factor of my depression) because she's a complete homophobe and would cry and scream if she found out I was bisexual (religion and culture).
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