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Possible to attract a guy who rejected you before?

xpaperxcutx

By xpaperxcutx
in General Relationship Discussion

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xpaperxcutx Established Member

xpaperxcutx

Posted
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Is it possible to attract a guy who rejected you in the past?

 

 

What if the female decided to change her looks and become attractive. Will that make the guy reconsider?

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TaraMaiden2 Established Member

TaraMaiden2

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If he did, wouldn't it be obvious he was just attracted to her external looks?

How shallow.

A guy who is attracted to you simply because you've changed your looks, isn't worth the ground he stands on.

A woman who believes she can attract a male if only she could look like *this* or *that* may be considered to have very little self-worth, self-esteem or be very insecure.

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Satu Established Member

Satu

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Even if its possible, I wouldn't recommend it.

 

It would send quite the wrong message.

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MrMeh Established Member

MrMeh

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"become attractive"

 

Kinda of a broad statement here. His tastes could be completely different from what you are or trying to be. I'll be frank, I have never suddenly become attracted to a woman who didn't peak my interest to start with.

  • Like 2
Emilia Established Member

Emilia

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Men aren't strictly only attracted to looks, personality comes into it too. I've seen guys dating girls after the girls lost weight, the whole thing lasted a month or a few weeks more before he walked.

  • Like 2
hippychick3 Established Member

hippychick3

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I wouldn't want him if he did.

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Gloria25 Established Member

Gloria25

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People like what they like. Believe it or not, some people like people who don't look good (probably because of low self-esteem, insecurities).

 

So, you shouldn't change who you are to accommodate someone's likes. There's someone out there who wants you for you.

 

Now, if it's something that you "should" do (ie fashion sense/style, fitness, grooming) then yeah, you should do it, but not for him - but for yourself.

  • Like 1
stillafool Established Member

stillafool

Posted
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Is it possible to attract a guy who rejected you in the past?

 

 

What if the female decided to change her looks and become attractive. Will that make the guy reconsider?

 

Why would you want a guy who has previously rejected you. If you have changed your looks use them to attract someone new and fresh.

  • Like 2
PrettyEmily77 Established Member

PrettyEmily77

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Sure, it's possible. Whether it has long term prospects, or is even wise is another issue.

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heartwhole Established Member

heartwhole

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But . . . why?

 

And you don't "become attractive." We're all attractive to someone. You can become more like the societal standard of beauty with weight loss, surgery, etc. This is the plot of lots of silly movies, isn't? Dork with monobrow drinks Love Potion #9 and is desired by every member of the opposite sex.

 

Sure, I think it's possible for someone to change themselves to attract some dope who didn't like them until their boob job or whatever. Of course it's possible. But it's a sad scenario indeed. If you want to look different, sure, do it. It's your body and your life. But don't do it for someone else, whether you're in a relationship with that person or want to be.

stillafool Established Member

stillafool

Posted
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Men aren't strictly only attracted to looks, personality comes into it too. I've seen guys dating girls after the girls lost weight, the whole thing lasted a month or a few weeks more before he walked.

 

You're correct because often it is the emotional connection that hooks the man rather than looks.

  • Like 1
Bobbi7 Established Member

Bobbi7

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Yes, definitely! For women, fixing yourself up and looking more attractive will hook him in. I know because I've experienced it.

TaraMaiden2 Established Member

TaraMaiden2

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Yes, definitely! For women, fixing yourself up and looking more attractive will hook him in. I know because I've experienced it.

 

How long did THAT last?

No matter the exterior, if the interior changes not, then no matter how much you disguise a raisin as a peanut with a thick layer of chocolate, it's still always going to be a raisin covered in chocolate.

Chris2016 Established Member

Chris2016

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Please do it for yourself not someone else. Sure it might attract him or make him take notice. What if it doesn't? Are you going to gain it all back? How about be skinny and start a new slate with someone else?

oldshirt Established Member

oldshirt

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I think some of you are being a little harsh. Let's be realistic here. If someone has let themselves go and were pushing 300lbs and had straggly, greasy hair and were dressed in rags and had poor hygiene, and they decided it was time to polish up and they got fit and healthy and started taking care of themselves and started primping and preening and dressing sharp, why should they not reap the benefits of looking good?

 

 

And similarly, why are holding it against someone that wants to become involved with someone that they are attracted to and find desirable?

 

 

Everyone is entitled to their own standards.

 

 

Isn't the reason people work on their appearance and their attractiveness so that other people will be attracted to them and be interested in them?

 

 

I see no foul here.

 

 

If we want to be marketable in the dating market it is on us to be as marketable as we can be.

 

 

So yeah, if someone was really overweight and not taking care of themselves and they shaped up and started taking care of themselves, it is very reasonable that someone who may have not been interested before may be interested now.

 

 

It is no different that a young man getting rejected by a young women when he is a scrawny, unemployed, uneducated teenager but finds him attractive and acceptable in his mid 20s and he has filled out, has obtained an education and now has a viable career.

Edited by oldshirt
  • Like 1
preraph Established Member

preraph

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On the weight loss matter, I still think even if a woman lost weight and looked better, the most it would be is sex, because the guy is going to assume, and probably rightly, that she will just regain the weight.

 

I think it's normal to try to look our best, but if someone isn't interested in you, I just don't see why you'd want them.

todreaminblue Established Member

todreaminblue

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it is possible to attract a guy who has rejected you like it is possible for a woman to be attracted to a guy she rejected in the past.....but...i would hope it was more than external....

 

i have rejected guys in the past and said no...until i have known them better..and then i date them..it takes me a while to be truly attracted ..once i know their heart...deb

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