Kamille Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 I think part of what happens is that when people see two women who are both, say, 42, and one is well-groomed, in shape, contemporary haircut, etc., while the other is overweight, dressed frumpily, etc., they will say that the first looks younger. In reality, they may both look 42, just in vastly different ways. I'm still trying to figure out where all these frumpy 42 year old women who take no pride in their appearance hang out. Have yet to meet one ! 1
Larryville Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 I find it weird how people date specifically older and younger, like what's wrong with people your own age? I do think that most people think they look younger than they are. Same way most people think they are of at least average or above average intelligence or looks (where are all the below average people who have to exist statistically?). If OP's dating pool has expanded now that she's 40, well, that's good news no matter the reason, right? I don’t get the thread, as the last line points out, why does it matter? Problematic thing about all of this talk about age is (unless I missed it) nobody is talking about something far more important, what is going on upstairs. If you look really hot or younger than your age whatever and you have the mental state of a teenager why would anyone want to be with you? A lot more people are becoming more self-absorbed, mentally and emotionally disconnected and throwing down prescription meds dealing with a lot more important things besides what age range they are attracting. do guys want to date women their age? People should be more concerned about attracting quality BOTH inside and out. I dated a woman, was in long term screwed up marriage, divorces and "breaks out" 54 "looked MUCH younger than age" but she tried so hard making up for a screwed up sheltered life wearing seriously tight dresses, too much also talking and acting trying to be viewed as "MUCH YOUNGER" all to impress who exactly? After being with her for a time was seriously unhappy. 1
No_Go Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 Exactly! Like you I'm very big on high end skin/make up products, I''m tall and slim. But NOONE on earth will convince me that I look 20 (I'm 31). The skin start losing elasticity NO matter what skincare you use around 24-25. Sorry, it is nature. Eyes look different. Body posture looks different. Laugh, voice etc - I'm not even going to discuss. I can guess age within 5 years range NO MATTER what the person thinks for themselves: D I kind of find it hilarious, but also sad what a 40 yo woman (than biologically can be a GRANDmother and is racing steadily towards menopause, sorry again - just BIOLOGY) states she look 30 or 20 Saying that: I do agree with OP the age bracket interested in older women is larger! Younger men look for sexual experience, and often for a sugar mommy, older men are attracted to the better looks (40 is not 60), and the freedom, because over 40 women are usually well established and well past the baby fever age. So I'm looking forward being 40! For sure! I'm scared to guess anyone's age in case I offend them. Take 5 years off the number I'm thinking of. Looking youthful, looking after yourself, dressing in an ageless/fun sort of way is great and men like it. That doesn't mean you look young. Only youthful.
LookAtThisPOst Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 I'm still trying to figure out where all these frumpy 42 year old women who take no pride in their appearance hang out. Have yet to meet one ! There's no gathering place for these people....you must be your area and you don't get out of your area much? Tons of them where I live. It's sickening even seeing 20-something women that look just the same. A lot of Mama June types. lol
Emilia Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 I'm still trying to figure out where all these frumpy 42 year old women who take no pride in their appearance hang out. Have yet to meet one ! They are at home. Unfortunately a lot of people seem to give up on life as they start getting slightly older
LookAtThisPOst Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 They are at home. Unfortunately a lot of people seem to give up on life as they start getting slightly older Yeah...you'll probably catch them at the local Wal-Mart late at night. :-)
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 Do you get interest from men in their 40s as well, as you did when you were actually in your 20s? I find it weird how people date specifically older and younger, like what's wrong with people your own age? No and that's extremely depressing to me. I have to say that I have the least amount of interest in 35-45 bracket. These men are obsessed with dating 20 year olds. I get by far the most interest from 20 something year olds. My theory is that these men don't think that 20 something women are all that and are less hang up on age. It could be that they just want sex but then by that logic 35-45 year olds could want just sex too yet they show zero interest
truth_seeker Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 like what's wrong with people your own age? Let me ask you: what would you rather have? A kitten or a stray cat?
Larryville Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 I'm still trying to figure out where all these frumpy 42 year old women who take no pride in their appearance hang out. Have yet to meet one ! There's no gathering place for these people....you must be your area and you don't get out of your area much? As someone pointed out WALMART! Tons of them where I live. It's sickening even seeing 20-something women that look just the same. A lot of Mama June types . Lol This is one of those “depends on where you live” issues. I challenged a friend, get on an OLD site and as for this discussion pick the age range of 40-50 and scroll fast and just do a simple “yes” or “no” and no lingering and you will see $#it loads of the “frumpy” Mama June types particularly in the Midwest. People on one coast or the other are going to see different types, or from what I remember ladies in Texas for example in more upscale area will actively work on looking good and staying in shape. Zip codes matter! This also gets to being able to absolutely tell the mindset of those you see in OLD profiles. Those wearing sunglasses in every pic, lying in bed, extreme close-up shots, kissing dogs, very dark pics, holding a drink. Do the same browse in a 20-30 range certain parts of the country see same stuff, more about attitude and education and self-confidence NOT age.
Imajerk17 Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 The carding thing doesn't mean much. I was just carded for alcohol (age 21 limit). I'm 38, after seeing my ID the young girl announced "You only look 27". So why the fk are you carding me!? At no point did she think I was actually under 21! To me, it just shows the collective hysteria regarding "drug" (alcohol) use. * Also, for men guessing women's ages. We've been brain washed for centuries that if we ever foolishly play the guessing game, we better err on the side of younger....WAY YOUNGER! I wonder if there is another, shrewd, reason for carding us around 40. The person doing the carding knows 80 percent of the time we'll be flattered and so we'll tip more. We get the ego boost and they get our money. Wins all around 5
truth_seeker Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 They are at home. Unfortunately a lot of people seem to give up on life as they start getting slightly older Yea, I've put myself into semi-retirement from going out. Just not into it anymore. I'm sorry but lots of the women 35+ I encounter look so old, tired and worn out. Many of them bitter from dealing with bad guys and bad experiences... I just rather go for a young one who is vibrant and gets me excited. Problem is the young ones are trouble makers. lol.
truth_seeker Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 No and that's extremely depressing to me. I have to say that I have the least amount of interest in 35-45 bracket. These men are obsessed with dating 20 year olds. I get by far the most interest from 20 something year olds. My theory is that these men don't think that 20 something women are all that and are less hang up on age. It could be that they just want sex but then by that logic 35-45 year olds could want just sex too yet they show zero interest There are more hot 20 something women than 30-40 something women. Young guys want to get laid and these 20 something girls know it and tease the sh-t out of them, play with their emotions. They rather go with an older woman who will rock their world without the games. The older men are more grounded and experienced. They know who to handle the young ones and reverse their games on them.
jen1447 Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 I know this isn't actually a thread about carding but servers everywhere err on the side of caution - if you look even remotely like you could be somewhere near 21, they'll card you. That's just professional CYA - if they sell to someone underage, the whole ship can go down. OT, I think a lot of younger guys do want 'cougar scores' as a sort of notch on their belt, but they also know that older women have a lot to offer sexually - experience and being in their libidinal prime. 1
Emilia Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 Let me ask you: what would you rather have? A kitten or a stray cat? Yea, I've put myself into semi-retirement from going out. Just not into it anymore. I'm sorry but lots of the women 35+ I encounter look so old, tired and worn out. Many of them bitter from dealing with bad guys and bad experiences... I just rather go for a young one who is vibrant and gets me excited. Problem is the young ones are trouble makers. lol. I find for dating it pays to have the right attitude. Maybe you need a break for a little while. 2
Summer3 Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 No and that's extremely depressing to me. I have to say that I have the least amount of interest in 35-45 bracket. These men are obsessed with dating 20 year olds. I get by far the most interest from 20 something year olds. My theory is that these men don't think that 20 something women are all that and are less hang up on age. It could be that they just want sex but then by that logic 35-45 year olds could want just sex too yet they show zero interest This is horrible. For me. I'm 47 which means I must be in the Senior Citizen age bracket. Thank god I'm married.
truth_seeker Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 I find for dating it pays to have the right attitude. Maybe you need a break for a little while. I believe it's all about timing and luck.
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 There are more hot 20 something women than 30-40 something women. Young guys want to get laid and these 20 something girls know it and tease the sh-t out of them, play with their emotions. They rather go with an older woman who will rock their world without the games. The older men are more grounded and experienced. They know who to handle the young ones and reverse their games on them. The same goes for men though. There are many 35+ men that lose their hair, gain weight, go grey and look like a grandpa. And I can tell you that rarely a 20 something girl will get excited by that. It's more that she is looking for a certain lifestyle and if you are established in your career and can offer her more than a 20 something guy, she may go for you. You would be foolish to think that she is just so hot for you. 3
Larryville Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 The same goes for men though. There are many 35+ men that lose their hair, gain weight, go grey and look like a grandpa. Discussions like this always hits on the old dudes gaining weight and getting bald. If it were possible to do online dating and not know ages it would force people to look deeper into what makes someone worth your time. Someone habits, work ethic, eating habits, health management, relationship with their family and kids, education, financial management… Someone’s outlook on life, mental health, religious or spiritual mindset all play a bigger role than age. I’m 52 and I fundamentally know I’m not likely to attract 30 somethings, so I concentrate on women (many older than I) who have more going on overall. I dated someone, hot only 41 at the time but had more freaking mental and emotional issues her hotness was not worth the time, money or effort and too many late 30 somethings also have self-esteem (I’m almost 40 angst crap) going on. I will say again age in many cases does not mean jack. 35+ year old dudes who are fat and bald, more than likely are NOT taking care of themselves, undereducated, and if they are on an OLD site with jacked up bathroom selfies you would avoid them as you would if you saw them at a Buffalo Wild Wings knocking down pints, screaming at some game.
Mrs.Dee Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 (edited) I think that before I became a mother at age 35, I attracted attention from boys and men aged 16-70 years old. Now that I have turned 40, the lower age limit has moved up, and the youngest guys are in their late 20's. But I am not as skinny as I used to be either, so maybe it is not only my age "scaring" them away, but also because I am a little overweight. But I think that wrinkles are more visible after 40 on skinny people and I often think a little overweight people has younger looking faces than skinnier ones. Isn't there an old saying that after 40 a women has to choose between her face and her body? Edited March 21, 2016 by Mrs.Dee
truth_seeker Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 The same goes for men though. There are many 35+ men that lose their hair, gain weight, go grey and look like a grandpa. And I can tell you that rarely a 20 something girl will get excited by that. It's more that she is looking for a certain lifestyle and if you are established in your career and can offer her more than a 20 something guy, she may go for you. You would be foolish to think that she is just so hot for you. Fortunately (knocking on wood) I am not at that grandpa stage yet. It's easy to know who the gold diggers are... men though at a certain age don't care however. They just want to have a good time. 20 something year old women, and I believe you even mentioned this somewhere on this forum before, just want to get with hot guys and then as they get to 30, change their tune towards a guy who is safe (not so hot but decent looking aka not a threat to attract other women and drop them) and can give them security ($$$$$$$$$) ...
xxoo Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 Let me ask you: what would you rather have? A kitten or a stray cat? I'm more of a dog person, but puppies are a lot of work. No thanks, I go for the adult dog every time. When people specifically avoid their own age group, I wonder why that is. You are that age group. What's the problem there? And as a woman in her 40s, I'd be offended to only have interest from men younger (wanting to play) and much older (just no thanks). 3
hippychick3 Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 I think that before I became a mother at age 35, I attracted attention from boys and men aged 16-70 years old. Now that I have turned 40, the lower age limit has moved up, and the youngest guys are in their late 20's. But I am not as skinny as I used to be either, so maybe it is not only my age "scaring" them away, but also because I am a little overweight. But I think that wrinkles are more visible after 40 on skinny people and I often think a little overweight people has younger looking faces than skinnier ones. Isn't there an old saying that after 40 a women has to choose between her face and her body? Yes, that is typically true. When you gain weight in your face, it smoothes out the wrinkles. I want to lose 10 pounds but will probably look older when I do. Hmm, maybe I'll stick to chocolate 1
truth_seeker Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 I'm more of a dog person, but puppies are a lot of work. No thanks, I go for the adult dog every time. When people specifically avoid their own age group, I wonder why that is. You are that age group. What's the problem there? And as a woman in her 40s, I'd be offended to only have interest from men younger (wanting to play) and much older (just no thanks). First Part: Second Part: I don't avoid my age group... I just find my age group to be less desirable for many reasons. What I would like is to meet a great lady who has her life together and is not hung up on her past or has made too many mistakes living her life.
Larryville Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 I attracted attention from boys and men aged 16-70 years old. What!? ALL…. Let me repeat ALL reasonable attractive women who are in decent shape and in many cases less than reasonable shape attract dudes to some degree. The thing is do you turn a dude on fantasy wise, privately, publically? Or potential girlfriend, potential wife, or drunk one night stand wise. There are dudes who “publicly” or to their friends might say I HATE FAT CHICK’S and go home to watch fat P*** 16 year olds!? I can name a dozen teachers I had “crushes” on, all likely in their late 30’s 40’s while in grade school.
xxoo Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 Isn't there an old saying that after 40 a women has to choose between her face and her body? There is an old saying, but it's a silly one. Ladies, I'm here to tell you that you don't have to choose. You can be healthy and vibrant and youthful, even with a few wrinkles! 2
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