mortensorchid Posted March 20, 2016 Posted March 20, 2016 I am a 41 year old woman. I have noticed a new something something out there since turning 40. If this happened before, I was not as aware of it as it as I am now, but when I was in my early 20s I attracted the attention of men in their 40s. And now I am attracting the attention of men in their 50s-60s. My appearance is deceiving, many people often times mistake me for a woman in her 20s. The only thing that gives my age away is the stray grey hair here and there, but you wouldn't know that unless you come up closer. I am now the "hot young babe" to the grandpa bracket, and the "older woman" to the cougar seekers. Life is good. 3
Mrs.Dee Posted March 20, 2016 Posted March 20, 2016 You probably just didn't notice the 50-60 year olds earlier . As I have gotten older the age limit downwards has changed, but the older guys has always showed interest. 1
Emilia Posted March 20, 2016 Posted March 20, 2016 Please don't think you can be mistaken in your 40s for someone in their 20s, no-one can. The reason young guys are interested is that they fantasise about older women. Don't let any man fool you or sweet talk you with fake compliments like that, you won't be doing yourself favours. 12
hippychick3 Posted March 20, 2016 Posted March 20, 2016 When I was 40, I was with a group of coworkers at a bday dinner. All the coworkers were in their 20's and the bday girl brought friends to the dinner. All of her friends (men and women) thought I was their age. That was a few years ago, and I still am mistaken for someone in her early 30's. Just last weekend I was at an event with a group of my boyfriend's friends. He loves asking new friends who haven't met me yet how old they think I am. They almost always think he is older than I am, and he is 9 years younger than me. I have felt more attractive and confident since turning 40 than I ever felt when I was younger. One can look 10 years younger, if you consistently take great care of your skin and your body from the inside out. 2
Mrs.Dee Posted March 20, 2016 Posted March 20, 2016 Please don't think you can be mistaken in your 40s for someone in their 20s, no-one can. The reason young guys are interested is that they fantasise about older women. Don't let any man fool you or sweet talk you with fake compliments like that, you won't be doing yourself favours. I know I am mistaken for a 20 year old girl, even though I am 40. The reason why I know this for sure is because I have to show ID several places with age limit 20-23 to get in, or buy alcohol which has an 18 year age limit in my country. And they are not joking with me either, because they refused to sell me the wine bottle one time I actually forgot my ID at home. When I was 18 I looked like I was 14, and it was really annoying to look so young for my age, but after I turned 30 it has been kind of cool instead . In my case it is mostly genes I think, but I also eat pretty healthy, work out regularly, wear sunscreen etc. So yes there actually are women that has passed 40, yet still look like 20 something. 2
Emilia Posted March 20, 2016 Posted March 20, 2016 I am Eastern European with good bone structure, ie high cheekbones, they tend to keep your face in decent shape. I've also looked after my skin, I use various non-surgical, non-invasive and fairly inexpensive cosmetic procedures. I've also been roughly the same weight the past 15 years, ie no skin sagging. I use Hyaluronic acid, Vitamin C and peels. So I think I have reasonable knowledge of aging. I can tell you that anyone who thinks you are in your 20s when you are in fact in your 40s, is blind. Or is being polite. I would think that's especially true if you are out with young ones. The contrast should be obvious. You absolutely can look great for your age, objectively I can probably get away with 8-10 years especially as I use little make up. Not 20 though. 5
hippychick3 Posted March 20, 2016 Posted March 20, 2016 I am Eastern European with good bone structure, ie high cheekbones, they tend to keep your face in decent shape. I've also looked after my skin, I use various non-surgical, non-invasive and fairly inexpensive cosmetic procedures. I've also been roughly the same weight the past 15 years, ie no skin sagging. I use Hyaluronic acid, Vitamin C and peels. So I think I have reasonable knowledge of aging. I can tell you that anyone who thinks you are in your 20s when you are in fact in your 40s, is blind. Or is being polite. I would think that's especially true if you are out with young ones. The contrast should be obvious. You absolutely can look great for your age, objectively I can probably get away with 8-10 years especially as I use little make up. Not 20 though. My oldest son refuses to go out in public with me because he has been given the check at the end of a meal so many times. When I tell the waitstaff, he has no money to pay the bill and they may want to give it to his mom, they look at me like I'm crazy. He does look a lot older than his age, but they assume I'm his date. I've also been mistaken as an older sister. I think it's hysterical, but he is mortified and now won't even go anywhere with me. Probably once a week someone will make a comment about my age. I don't expect it to last forever so will enjoy while I can. A lot of it is probably genes...my mom and aunt have always looked younger than their age.
Chris2016 Posted March 20, 2016 Posted March 20, 2016 I'm 40 and got carded recently. Makes you feel good. But I also don't get carded enough! There is a contrast for sure. The 20s don't have crows feet yet when they smile.
Teresa76 Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 Please don't think you can be mistaken in your 40s for someone in their 20s, no-one can. The reason young guys are interested is that they fantasise about older women. Don't let any man fool you or sweet talk you with fake compliments like that, you won't be doing yourself favours. I'm almost 40 and I get mistaken for being in my 20s all the time. I can't even go out without being carded. I have a 19 year old niece and people mistake us for each other constantly. Could be because I still shop in the Juniors section
phineas Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 When my BF% is lower people think i'm late 30's even though i'm 44. when i gain weight and my face starts to round out they think i'm closer to 50. LOLOLOLOL!h 1
Emilia Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 I'm almost 40 and I get mistaken for being in my 20s all the time. I can't even go out without being carded. I have a 19 year old niece and people mistake us for each other constantly. Could be because I still shop in the Juniors section Yeah a bouncer carded me a few years ago in my late 30s, it's a game! Come on people, it's a bit desperate to believe your own hype. No-one looks 15-20 years younger, it's a game some guys play to get around you. How can some people be so naive? 3
xxoo Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 Do you get interest from men in their 40s as well, as you did when you were actually in your 20s? I find it weird how people date specifically older and younger, like what's wrong with people your own age? 2
LookAtThisPOst Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 Do you get interest from men in their 40s as well, as you did when you were actually in your 20s? I find it weird how people date specifically older and younger, like what's wrong with people your own age? Yeah, I've seen a woman on an online dating site that admittedly fudged her POF age (late mid/late 30s), when she was actually like late 40s. She was narcissistic enough to admit this IN her profile to get a younger demographic to contact her. She was one of those, "I get carded all the time!" braggarts.
Mrs.Dee Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 Yeah a bouncer carded me a few years ago in my late 30s, it's a game! Come on people, it's a bit desperate to believe your own hype. No-one looks 15-20 years younger, it's a game some guys play to get around you. How can some people be so naive? I have to show ID like 4-5 times a year when I go to buy alcohol, last time is only 2-3 weeks ago and it was a female maybe 40 years old that asked. I showed her my drivers licence which states that I am 40 year old and she looked like she couldn't believe what she saw and she was very skeptical to hand me that wine. I have also thougth it might be just a "game" they play, but there has been several female clerk that has also carded me. And they aren't doing it in a cheerful manner, they look very serious and strickt - doing their duty. There are also other situations where I tell people the age of my kids and they go WOW, you must have been really young when you had your kids! And I go umm no I was actually quite old for a first time mother ( well above 30) So yes, I actually do think others see me as a(real mature) 20-25 year old some days. I don't really think so myself. I think I look like i am about 30+.
hippychick3 Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 Do you get interest from men in their 40s as well, as you did when you were actually in your 20s? I find it weird how people date specifically older and younger, like what's wrong with people your own age? I dated people my age, older, and younger. I didn't really have any preference in ages as long as they were within 5 years or so either way. I initially wouldn't go out with current bf when he told me his age. He convinced me to go on one date, and I ended up falling for him "despite" his age.
Kamille Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 Saw this talk where 60 women were interviewed. They were all convinced they looked younger than their age. But what's wrong with looking your age? And while yes, sometimes I get carded (usually by people older than me or my age), 20 somethings never card me. They can tell the difference (and I can tell they're younger too). But who cares? It's possible to carry yourself well for your own age, this all while looking your age! 6
introverted1 Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 Saw this talk where 60 women were interviewed. They were all convinced they looked younger than their age. But what's wrong with looking your age? And while yes, sometimes I get carded (usually by people older than me or my age), 20 somethings never card me. They can tell the difference (and I can tell they're younger too). But who cares? It's possible to carry yourself well for your own age, this all while looking your age! I think part of what happens is that when people see two women who are both, say, 42, and one is well-groomed, in shape, contemporary haircut, etc., while the other is overweight, dressed frumpily, etc., they will say that the first looks younger. In reality, they may both look 42, just in vastly different ways. I do think that most people think they look younger than they are. Same way most people think they are of at least average or above average intelligence or looks (where are all the below average people who have to exist statistically?). If OP's dating pool has expanded now that she's 40, well, that's good news no matter the reason, right? 4
LookAtThisPOst Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 I think part of what happens is that when people see two women who are both, say, 42, and one is well-groomed, in shape, contemporary haircut, etc., while the other is overweight, dressed frumpily, etc., they will say that the first looks younger. In reality, they may both look 42, just in vastly different ways. I do think that most people think they look younger than they are. Same way most people think they are of at least average or above average intelligence or looks (where are all the below average people who have to exist statistically?). If OP's dating pool has expanded now that she's 40, well, that's good news no matter the reason, right? Right, and a lot of people tend to over value themselves.
Emilia Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 I think part of what happens is that when people see two women who are both, say, 42, and one is well-groomed, in shape, contemporary haircut, etc., while the other is overweight, dressed frumpily, etc., they will say that the first looks younger. In reality, they may both look 42, just in vastly different ways. I do think that most people think they look younger than they are. Same way most people think they are of at least average or above average intelligence or looks (where are all the below average people who have to exist statistically?). If OP's dating pool has expanded now that she's 40, well, that's good news no matter the reason, right? Well it matters when younger men are interested in her sexual experience rather than anything more serious. I think women have the tendency to believe the sweet talk some men come up with and that is a problem. Agree with the rest. I think everyone looks their age just in different ways. It's not a huge amount you can do to fight the loss of elasticity and I'd rather a man approached me because he was interested in 40 year-olds then because he wanted a 30 year-old and a family. 5
xxoo Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 Yeah, I've seen a woman on an online dating site that admittedly fudged her POF age (late mid/late 30s), when she was actually like late 40s. She was narcissistic enough to admit this IN her profile to get a younger demographic to contact her. She was one of those, "I get carded all the time!" braggarts. But do guys want to date women their age? The op is saying that she attracted men in 40s when in her 20s, and men 20s and 60s when in her 40s. I'd like to think a couple of 40 year olds might be attracted to each other. 1
PogoStick Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 The carding thing doesn't mean much. I was just carded for alcohol (age 21 limit). I'm 38, after seeing my ID the young girl announced "You only look 27". So why the fk are you carding me!? At no point did she think I was actually under 21! To me, it just shows the collective hysteria regarding "drug" (alcohol) use. * Also, for men guessing women's ages. We've been brain washed for centuries that if we ever foolishly play the guessing game, we better err on the side of younger....WAY YOUNGER! 3
Jabron1 Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 People act really strange about age. I got asked for ID by a snappy barmaid a few years ago when I was 26. I didn't have any ID, but it was a family party, so I said 'you can ask anyone here. They're all family'. She then said 'and you won't cause trouble?' So I said 'Of course not. I think this [asking for ID] is sort of a compliment.' She then said 'well you don't look that young anyway'.
Emilia Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 Also, for men guessing women's ages. We've been brain washed for centuries that if we ever foolishly play the guessing game, we better err on the side of younger....WAY YOUNGER! For sure! I'm scared to guess anyone's age in case I offend them. Take 5 years off the number I'm thinking of. Looking youthful, looking after yourself, dressing in an ageless/fun sort of way is great and men like it. That doesn't mean you look young. Only youthful. 2
lilmissjava Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 After years and years of dating only younger men (by as much as 20 years), I have finally landed someone the exact same age as me (he is older by a week). I have never actually dated anyone over the age of 30 and I am early 40's. We can't help who we attract, but we also can't help their emotional maturity, which were the reasons behind the relationship breakdowns.
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