EMY711 Posted March 20, 2016 Posted March 20, 2016 I had developed feelings for my friend. We were once intimate for a short period of time until he said he wanted to build a friendship into a relationship and it's best not to sleep together. If things are to happen they will fall into place. Since then we kept our friendship. I've kept distance to help me emotionally. Once I do, he comes on stronger by messaging me when he wakes up and wanting to hang out more. I just keep reminding myself we are good friends. He has made me dinner and had me spend the night in his bed a couple times during the last month or two. WE don't have sex and he tells me to behave when we go to sleep, as if i may make a move. This past week, he has sent some sexual messages to me- more or less indicating he wants sex with me. I was suppose to go over for dinner the other night and he cancelled the day of and said we will do it another time if I'd like. Most people would say there is another girl but that is far from the case. He is very systematic and focused with school. nothing to hide. If he is busy- he doesn't text and always is prompt to answer me. We text that whole night but he when I made a sexual comment he told me I was being bad and it seemed he tried to steer away from it. I don't want to read into anything but why say he wants to be friends and then toy with me by sending me sexual messages after being so persistent on just friends and no sex? 1
preraph Posted March 20, 2016 Posted March 20, 2016 There is something really off about this guy. To me, he seems to be trying to set you up as the dirty girl for wanting sex. I don't like the sound of it. It sounds like some sort of mind game at minimum or fetish -- or he's got a real conflict and doesn't respect women who have sex or something. I can't think of any scenario under which this is a good thing. I am sorry to say so. It's all wrong. Now, if you're not using birth control, then maybe, but not really because there's no excuse for you not being on birth control or you two using condoms. He's off whack. 3
Satu Posted March 20, 2016 Posted March 20, 2016 I agree with Preraph; there's something weird and unwholesome going on in your friend's head. 2
266696687 Posted March 20, 2016 Posted March 20, 2016 There is something really off about this guy. To me, he seems to be trying to set you up as the dirty girl for wanting sex. I don't like the sound of it. It sounds like some sort of mind game at minimum or fetish -- or he's got a real conflict and doesn't respect women who have sex or something. I can't think of any scenario under which this is a good thing. I am sorry to say so. It's all wrong. Now, if you're not using birth control, then maybe, but not really because there's no excuse for you not being on birth control or you two using condoms. He's off whack. I agree. One of the signs of a controlling person is completely controlling sex. It's only okay on his terms and his terms only otherwise you're dirty or misbehaving when you try to initiate. This is a really bad warning sign. You should back off from this guy. He is also withholding sex (for no reason he claims to want to build a relationship with you and sex mutually is an important part of that and at the moment he has complete control over you in terms of sex). Something is definitely not right with this guy. Leave him well alone. 2
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