singlelife Posted March 19, 2016 Posted March 19, 2016 The ones I have come across seem to want a replacement of their last husband to work so they can stay home. they also aren't aware of the need to getting along with others in the world. They seem to think everything has to be at their schedule. This isn't new I have just never discussed this before. So what is the issue with this?
Ruby Slippers Posted March 19, 2016 Posted March 19, 2016 I have noticed that most divorced, stay-at-home moms with kids look for a "second model" of their ex-husband, someone to support them in continuing the same lifestyle. I met a lot of women like this when I played in a tennis league last year - lots of ladies of leisure with ample free time to play tennis and drink gin & tonics
Author singlelife Posted March 19, 2016 Author Posted March 19, 2016 I have noticed that most divorced, stay-at-home moms with kids look for a "second model" of their ex-husband, someone to support them in continuing the same lifestyle. I met a lot of women like this when I played in a tennis league last year - lots of ladies of leisure with ample free time to play tennis and drink gin & tonics Doesn't sound like they want love a lot. They want that lifestyle. No wonder they go through a lot of guys. Men are aware of this.
Omei Posted March 19, 2016 Posted March 19, 2016 Don't date "stay at home moms" then date moms that work. It may seem everything is on their schedule but moms are always on their children's schedule when it comes time to date they have to find a way to make time to see someone, which can be hard so usually whatever time slot opens is all they can offer you for a date. If you don't wanna be a husband replacement don't date moms that don't work with small children date independent moms (like myself ) who house and pay for everything on their own so your absence nor presence would matter in their situation moms with older children have more free time because their children have their own activities. And just to note there's nothing wrong with stay at home moms it's a job that's 24/7 picture having to take care of someone all day and night but if you're no longer in a relationship I too think it's crazy to expect someone to just come and provide what your husband did. 2
Author singlelife Posted March 19, 2016 Author Posted March 19, 2016 Don't date "stay at home moms" then date moms that work. It may seem everything is on their schedule but moms are always on their children's schedule when it comes time to date they have to find a way to make time to see someone, which can be hard so usually whatever time slot opens is all they can offer you for a date. If you don't wanna be a husband replacement don't date moms that don't work with small children date independent moms (like myself ) who house and pay for everything on their own so your absence nor presence would matter in their situation moms with older children have more free time because their children have their own activities. And just to note there's nothing wrong with stay at home moms it's a job that's 24/7 picture having to take care of someone all day and night but if you're no longer in a relationship I too think it's crazy to expect someone to just come and provide what your husband did. Some of those women are predators. They come for the good guys. And there are moms who work that have the same responsibility and they make things work.
Popsicle Posted March 19, 2016 Posted March 19, 2016 (edited) I was a SAHM while I was married and there is no way I would ever stay at home again. That is a freakin' prison!! So, no, I'm not looking for a replacement version of my stay-at-home ex-life (plus my kids are also older teens so it's fine). HOWEVER, I may be an outlier on that. Like others have mentioned in this thread, I have also observed that most stay-at-home's are looking to continue with that status with a new husband. Edited March 19, 2016 by Popsicle 2
Omei Posted March 19, 2016 Posted March 19, 2016 Some of those women are predators. They come for the good guys. And there are moms who work that have the same responsibility and they make things work. I wouldn't call them predators lol Ultimately it's the dudes choice to be with a stay at home mom or not men aren't forced lol 1
preraph Posted March 19, 2016 Posted March 19, 2016 Believe it or not, there are guys who want a stay-at-home wife. Of course, best bet for a single SAHM who doesn't want to work outside the home is to find a divorced man with a kid or two and share responsibilities. Certainly if you don't want to date a mom who doesn't work, then don't do it! I certainly would not date a single father who doesn't work or one that had primary custody.
Author singlelife Posted March 19, 2016 Author Posted March 19, 2016 I was a SAHM while I was married and there is no way I would ever stay at home again. That is a freakin' prison!! So, no, I'm not looking for a replacement version of my stay-at-home ex-life (plus my kids are also older teens so it's fine). HOWEVER, I may be an outlier on that. Like others have mentioned in this thread, I have also observed that most stay-at-home's are looking to continue with that status with a new husband. Thanks for sharing. I feel most of these ladies have problems finding a good man. because they present themselves as being a user or not mature enough for a relationship. So men just use them and string them along or don't even give them a second look.
preraph Posted March 19, 2016 Posted March 19, 2016 Their situations are fraught with complications. First of all, they have kids so there's no time for much of anything else but raising the kids unless they somehow put their hands on some money and can afford day care or a nanny, which is probably the goal for many of them. But others don't want to separate from their kids and turn them over to another person and are looking for a way out by finding a man who doesn't want them to work. To add to the already high demands there, you're usually dealing with someone who has been buried in motherhood and lost track of her identity and probably doesn't even fully realize where she fits in socially, may believe she should still be able to attract the same guys as when she first got married and have a distorted view of herself. Or she may have run herself so far down she has no confidence and is just desperate and looking for a way out. This reminds me of the TLC tv show "What Not To Wear." It's about doing makeovers on people who are dressing atrociously. Fully half of them were mothers who were either just dressing like every day was take out the trash day or still dressing the same way they were when they first got pregnant, i.e., like a teenager. They truly were very lost, as if they had entered a tunnel and never came out. So you don't know what you're dealing with. But bottom line, you control who you go out with. If you don't want to be responsible for someone else's welfare, don't date someone who isn't self-sufficient. I realize sometimes it takes a few dates to figure that out, because even a working mother may not make enough money to be self-sufficient.
Omei Posted March 19, 2016 Posted March 19, 2016 (edited) Their situations are fraught with complications. First of all, they have kids so there's no time for much of anything else but raising the kids unless they somehow put their hands on some money and can afford day care or a nanny, which is probably the goal for many of them. But others don't want to separate from their kids and turn them over to another person and are looking for a way out by finding a man who doesn't want them to work. To add to the already high demands there, you're usually dealing with someone who has been buried in motherhood and lost track of her identity and probably doesn't even fully realize where she fits in socially, may believe she should still be able to attract the same guys as when she first got married and have a distorted view of herself. Or she may have run herself so far down she has no confidence and is just desperate and looking for a way out. This reminds me of the TLC tv show "What Not To Wear." It's about doing makeovers on people who are dressing atrociously. Fully half of them were mothers who were either just dressing like every day was take out the trash day or still dressing the same way they were when they first got pregnant, i.e., like a teenager. They truly were very lost, as if they had entered a tunnel and never came out. So you don't know what you're dealing with. But bottom line, you control who you go out with. If you don't want to be responsible for someone else's welfare, don't date someone who isn't self-sufficient. I realize sometimes it takes a few dates to figure that out, because even a working mother may not make enough money to be self-sufficient. I have a 9 year old who goes to school, brownies, parents house as a single mother I have a ton of free time, ive been alone all day. Motherhood doesn't make you lose track of your identity that's rediculous You're assuming every single mother has the same situation There's such a bad stereotype that mothers don't do anything else besides their children common *eye roll* There are a lot of independent self sufficient mothers out there that achieve a lot and can support a man instead of being visa versa in my relationships I'm usually the big supporter money maker, and I'm the single parent. Edited March 19, 2016 by Omei 1
Popsicle Posted March 20, 2016 Posted March 20, 2016 Thanks for sharing. I feel most of these ladies have problems finding a good man. because they present themselves as being a user or not mature enough for a relationship. So men just use them and string them along or don't even give them a second look. Why not just date childless women? 2
Author singlelife Posted March 21, 2016 Author Posted March 21, 2016 I have a 9 year old who goes to school, brownies, parents house as a single mother I have a ton of free time, ive been alone all day. Motherhood doesn't make you lose track of your identity that's rediculous You're assuming every single mother has the same situation There's such a bad stereotype that mothers don't do anything else besides their children common *eye roll* There are a lot of independent self sufficient mothers out there that achieve a lot and can support a man instead of being visa versa in my relationships I'm usually the big supporter money maker, and I'm the single parent. Thanks for sharing. So what is the deal with mothers who aren't like you? How do they get that way?
Author singlelife Posted March 21, 2016 Author Posted March 21, 2016 Why not just date childless women? They come out of the woodworks. I date childless women. But the mothers are weird in that they come at you and expect you to like them.
amaysngrace Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 This SAHM doesn't want for a man to take over my house any more than I want to be cleaning the toilet when he misses. But that's just me. 1
Dreamworld Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 The ones I have come across seem to want a replacement of their last husband to work so they can stay home. they also aren't aware of the need to getting along with others in the world. They seem to think everything has to be at their schedule. This isn't new I have just never discussed this before. So what is the issue with this? I was more socially awkward as a married stay at home mom. And the last thing I want is a relationship. I like being single a lot more than I like being married. Heck I like being single more than having a bf. And I really like unattached nsa sex. And now I have more time for that now that my kid is older. Ironically its the guys who want the long term relationships with me, kid and all. So no, not all stay at home divorced moms are the same. And I dont intend to be staying at home any longer as well.
Author singlelife Posted March 21, 2016 Author Posted March 21, 2016 This SAHM doesn't want for a man to take over my house any more than I want to be cleaning the toilet when he misses. But that's just me. Great!! Good to hear.
phineas Posted March 22, 2016 Posted March 22, 2016 i'm gonna ruffle some jimmy's here but in my experience, Stay at home mom's near 40 that I meet are usualy about to become empty nesters and looking for a man to take care of them before their child support runs out. freshly divorced women I meet are trainwrecks. Period. But, to be fair, freshly divorced men are trainwrecks also. I don't know any stay at home dads so I cannot comment on whether they are looking for a woman to support them or not.
Author singlelife Posted March 22, 2016 Author Posted March 22, 2016 i'm gonna ruffle some jimmy's here but in my experience, Stay at home mom's near 40 that I meet are usualy about to become empty nesters and looking for a man to take care of them before their child support runs out. freshly divorced women I meet are trainwrecks. Period. But, to be fair, freshly divorced men are trainwrecks also. I don't know any stay at home dads so I cannot comment on whether they are looking for a woman to support them or not. I totally agree. Guys can't get sugar mama's nowhere lol. And on the flipside it must be hard for these women to get a bf who will stay.
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