Mccoy321 Posted March 19, 2016 Posted March 19, 2016 Is it just me or are the practices of online dating beginning to infiltrate the way women pick guys in real life situations too? I'm not good looking, just average and am 5'9. I never used to find it at all difficult to attract women because I'm very intelligent and funny. But over the last few years, I've noticed it's much more difficult. Chatting with female friends and in some of the meet up groups I'm in I've noticed that just about all the single women I know are signed up to at least one dating website and also that they're all far more impressed by and concerned with how good looking or tall men are than they used to be. It seems to be the only topic of conversation when dating is discussed these days.
ff12343 Posted March 19, 2016 Posted March 19, 2016 (edited) Well of course they will pick the better looking guys to talk to. Also keep in mind they get over 20-50 messages a day while guys get that in a month. So yes they will be extremely picky. Yes height matters to a lot too. I know it does to me. Also keep in mind 9 out of 10 people end up being different in some way in real life than how they are in your mind online. Be it they are heavier or chemistry is way different. As far as every girl having an account, well it's for a self-esteem boost. To see how they compete on the market. A lot of girls compare what they get online to what they get in person. It all depends on the girl. Bottom line is OLD is a #'s game. Gets old after a while. Edited March 19, 2016 by ff12343
Author Mccoy321 Posted March 19, 2016 Author Posted March 19, 2016 Well of course they will pick the better looking guys to talk to. Also keep in mind they get over 20-50 messages a day while guys get that in a month. So yes they will be extremely picky. Also keep in mind 9 out of 10 people end up being different in some way in real life than how they are in your mind online. Be it they are heavier or chemistry is way different. As far as every girl having an account, well it's for a self-esteem boost. To see how they compete on the market. A lot of girls compare what they get online to what they get in person. It all depends on the girl. Bottom line is OLD is a #'s game. Gets old after a while. My point is rather the idea that the highly visual environment of online dating is affecting the way women (I don't know about men - I'd guess we have always been more visual) assess potential dates offline. It just seems to me that, if I'm in a conversation about dating/relationships in a mixed group, whilst the men would always focus more on looks the women nowadays seem just as inclined to talk just about how good looking or how tall a guy is. 10 years ago, the same kind of conversation would, I'm fairly sure, see the women talking far more about personality, intelligence and humour.
ff12343 Posted March 19, 2016 Posted March 19, 2016 (edited) Simple. It comes down to the quality of person/people who this is coming from. Generally girls do care about personality. It's what chemistry is built around. Unless all they want to do is sleep around. I need more details on if these group of girls are under the age of 30 and if they ''sleep around''.' Also keep in mind there is a world of a difference between "girls" and "women". Edited March 19, 2016 by ff12343
Author Mccoy321 Posted March 19, 2016 Author Posted March 19, 2016 Simple. It comes down to the quality of person/people who this is coming from. Generally girls do care about personality. It's what chemistry is built around. Unless all they want to do is sleep around. I need more details on if these group of girls are under the age of 30 and if they ''sleep around''. We're talking between 30 and 40. But this is more general. It's not just this one group of women. I'm just asking whether anyone else had noticed a shift in the level of importance women place on physical attractiveness over other things. It seems to me that there has been a shift but I might be wrong. It also occurs to me that one way of explaining this (if it's there) might be the sheer popularity of online dating and the way it differs from the IRL experience.
smackie9 Posted March 19, 2016 Posted March 19, 2016 Women are like snowflakes, there are none alike, just like what we find attractive is not alike. Of course attractive people will get more attention whether it's from men or women....it's called the halo effect. It's ingrained in our genetics. But when it comes down to settling on a mate, personality/chemistry/compatibility still rules. 1
LookAtThisPOst Posted March 19, 2016 Posted March 19, 2016 Yeah...I am seeing some of the women in Meetup on the dating sites as well. Funny, some never actually GO to the events. I think they think that they think the Meetup.com site is a dating site as well and isn't meant for real life get together. LOL Rather sad. Because I see them and never ONCE they've attended and event. So there indeed an overlap there. Is it just me or are the practices of online dating beginning to infiltrate the way women pick guys in real life situations too? I'm not good looking, just average and am 5'9. I never used to find it at all difficult to attract women because I'm very intelligent and funny. But over the last few years, I've noticed it's much more difficult. Chatting with female friends and in some of the meet up groups I'm in I've noticed that just about all the single women I know are signed up to at least one dating website and also that they're all far more impressed by and concerned with how good looking or tall men are than they used to be. It seems to be the only topic of conversation when dating is discussed these days.
Author Mccoy321 Posted March 19, 2016 Author Posted March 19, 2016 But when it comes down to settling on a mate, personality/chemistry/compatibility still rules. I'm sure it does for many, but I know so many single women between 30 and 40 who have been single for about a decade because they will only go out with good looking men. But these men only see them as a hassle free hook-up. When you try to explain the logic of their situation to them, they become (deliberately) obtuse and just can't seem to see that the guys they fancy might be just as concerned about their partner's looks as them. The implication being that they themselves are merely average looking.
LookAtThisPOst Posted March 19, 2016 Posted March 19, 2016 I'm sure it does for many, but I know so many single women between 30 and 40 who have been single for about a decade because they will only go out with good looking men. But these men only see them as a hassle free hook-up. When you try to explain the logic of their situation to them, they become (deliberately) obtuse and just can't seem to see that the guys they fancy might be just as concerned about their partner's looks as them. The implication being that they themselves are merely average looking. Yeah, it's funny because I took a break from POF for about a year, came back, still saw the same overly picky women on the site. It's sad, esp. when they live in this more suburban area an hour outside the city. One was like, "I live in a rural area ,and I LOVE it" dropping a hint that she won't do long dist., so she's pretty much stuck with the selection of men where she lives, but she won't budge on her standards. They wind up, sadly, becoming permanent fixtures of the site. I think to myself, "They're still here after a year, should I email them...again?!" lol
Author Mccoy321 Posted March 19, 2016 Author Posted March 19, 2016 Yeah, it's funny because I took a break from POF for about a year, came back, still saw the same overly picky women on the site. It's sad, esp. when they live in this more suburban area an hour outside the city. One was like, "I live in a rural area ,and I LOVE it" dropping a hint that she won't do long dist., so she's pretty much stuck with the selection of men where she lives, but she won't budge on her standards. They wind up, sadly, becoming permanent fixtures of the site. I think to myself, "They're still here after a year, should I email them...again?!" lol Yeah, I went on POF for a while last year. Total waste of time, but what I noticed was that easily more than half of the profiles of the women in their thirties are just a list of complaints about time wasters and men being after hook-ups. But it becomes quite clear that they're only time wasters because these women are trying to bat well above their average and can't work out that if a good looking guy can take an easy hook-up, he'll happily pretend to be after a relationship in order to achieve that end. They call it 'ghosting' and can't get their head round it despite it being the simplest thing to understand in the world.
SwordofFlame Posted March 19, 2016 Posted March 19, 2016 The thing is men will often date down on OLD sites, but rarely will the men that do this want a serious relationship with the woman. After all, who wants to feel like they had to settle.
xpaperxcutx Posted March 19, 2016 Posted March 19, 2016 Yeah, I went on POF for a while last year. Total waste of time, but what I noticed was that easily more than half of the profiles of the women in their thirties are just a list of complaints about time wasters and men being after hook-ups. But it becomes quite clear that they're only time wasters because these women are trying to bat well above their average and can't work out that if a good looking guy can take an easy hook-up, he'll happily pretend to be after a relationship in order to achieve that end. They call it 'ghosting' and can't get their head round it despite it being the simplest thing to understand in the world. I dont have POF but I recently had this happen to me. I consider myself a 7/8 and I always get compliments on my looks. The guy i dated was a 7 as well but he ghosted me because he wanted someone who was open to having sex, because he wanted someone who he is sexually compatible with. I got this answer outvof him after I confronted him.
Author Mccoy321 Posted March 19, 2016 Author Posted March 19, 2016 I dont have POF but I recently had this happen to me. I consider myself a 7/8 and I always get compliments on my looks. The guy i dated was a 7 as well but he ghosted me because he wanted someone who was open to having sex, because he wanted someone who he is sexually compatible with. I got this answer outvof him after I confronted him. Maybe you're not quite the 7/8 you believe yourself to be.
phineas Posted March 19, 2016 Posted March 19, 2016 Last night I met a woman in a group setting. I've lost weight and been lifting again and was wearing a nice v-neck that was a little form fitting. One of the women who was 13yrs my junior felt the need to tell me her nipples were pierced. She was flirting hard and tossing out sexual innuendo plus touching me in ways that made it clear she wanted to hook-up with me. literally hrs after meeting me. But I found out before anything happened that she was married in one of those hell marriages and just looking for hook-ups. I was immediately turned off and let her flirt with my friend instead. but I thought, geez, this chick is just like the chicks I met online & the reason I deleted my profiles.
xpaperxcutx Posted March 19, 2016 Posted March 19, 2016 Maybe you're not quite the 7/8 you believe yourself to be. I think most guys only after sex would bail if they knew a girl doesnt sleep putside of relationships.
SammySammy Posted March 19, 2016 Posted March 19, 2016 Attractiveness is a bell curve with most of us being around average. Women can want the attractive guy, but most are going to end up with someone average ... just like them.
Author Mccoy321 Posted March 19, 2016 Author Posted March 19, 2016 I think most guys only after sex would bail if they knew a girl doesnt sleep putside of relationships. No, they'll try a bit. Men like a challenge. When they realise it's true, then yes, they won't waste their time.
Author Mccoy321 Posted March 19, 2016 Author Posted March 19, 2016 Attractiveness is a bell curve with most of us being around average. Women can want the attractive guy, but most are going to end up with someone average ... just like them. Yes, I agree. But that's probably why I'm now seeing so many perpetually single 30-something women. They're not willing to accept that they are average looking or that they can't have the few good looking men out there. I mean when any man or woman who are perfectly intelligent and at ease socially spend 10 years or so unable to find a partner, something is going wrong.
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