SimonHayes11 Posted March 19, 2016 Posted March 19, 2016 Recently I found out my girlfriend has been messaging other guys. I confronted her about it and we spoke about it. After a lot of consideration I chose to give us another go as I love her and she promised me that she won't do it again. However I am now struggling to move on. I want to be with her, there is no doubt in my mind about that but it's just there at the back of my mind eating away at me. Then today she done something unusual. Normally we wake up and she would check her phone in bed with me there, never been an issue before but today she waited until I had left the room to check her phone. My mind is telling me she is up to something again but my heart is telling me she isn't. Any help or advice would be most appreciated. Thanks in advance 1
d0nnivain Posted March 19, 2016 Posted March 19, 2016 You need trust to build a relationship. She's already started down a trail of betrayal by messaging other guys, assuming she was discussing something other than her March Madness bracket picks. After you discussed it, knowing that you have concerns she continued to be sneaky. It may have been a coincidence but it looks suspicious. I'd ask who she messaged but if you don't like the answer, all the love in the world on your side isn't going to change the fact that she seems to be headed for the door. 3
Satu Posted March 19, 2016 Posted March 19, 2016 Life without trust is a hellish and stressful experience. You should ask yourself if staying with your gf is really the best option for both of you. Your love alone can't fix this. 2
LostOnes05 Posted March 19, 2016 Posted March 19, 2016 I'd say you have a major problem brewing...if you choose to stay. I'm all for people working through issues in a relationship, but it can't be one-sided. Bring up that you notice she has been secretive with her phone lately and go from there. As Donnivan said, your love for her won't stop her from cheating. Besides, women (in our case) do this thing where they say after breaking up with you that they have felt this way for a while, etc., etc. but will never communicate that with words. Instead you have to look at a woman's actions and base your response from that...not her words. Best of luck bro, but I'd put a cap on my feelings if I were you. 2
Empire87 Posted March 20, 2016 Posted March 20, 2016 The fact that you found out she was talking to other guys and the only consequence was that you got mad and then decided to give her another shot after she promised not to do it again is without a doubt going to ensure that she continues talking to other guys. What is going to stop her from doing it again? She knows you won't break up with her because you didn't the first time. There's nothing to deter or scare her into changing her behavior. If she's terrified of losing you forever then she won't text other guys. If she couldn't care less either way, then she's gonna do it again and again until you either develop some guts and leave her, or she finds someone she likes more and she leaves you. You need to tell her that even though you decided to give her another chance, the things you've been seeing as far as her phone activity/secrecy and the gut feeling you have that she's still doing it... Is just not gonna go away all of a sudden so you need to take time apart. If she truly wants to be with you then she will continue to talk to you and try to be in your life. If she goes on the break and you're the one who has to reach out and talk to her.. That means she's fine with not being your gf and had other guys she's interested in.
sandylee1 Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 I see little point in having a girlfriend you can't trust. This is the time to see if you're on the same page... she's testing out other guys online... if she loved you in the way you love her ....she wouldn't do it. EVER. 1
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