Mjm1014 Posted March 19, 2016 Posted March 19, 2016 About a year ago, I was casually seeing a girl for about four months. I was living out of town (I'm an airline pilot so I would commute and come back to see her), and we had a lot of great times together. For some reason, she never wanted to make it official, and one day she ended things with me. She told me she lost the spark, and that we should stop seeing each other, but she never gave me any explanation. For the past year or so, I still think of her a decent amount to be honest, and I'm finally living where she is (my original hometown) and was thinking about calling her up to ask her back out. Finally living back in town it's tough because I really miss her. Do you think I would come off looking like an idiot if I asked to to hang back out again? Like I said above, she never gave me a straight up answer why she didn't want to see me anymore. It literally went from 100% interest in me to 0 in a day and we spend four months together..literally every weekend. I want one more chance, but part of me feels somewhat humiliated to even ask her out again. Thoughts? 1
Satu Posted March 19, 2016 Posted March 19, 2016 snip About a year ago, I was casually seeing a girl for about four months. I was living out of town (I'm an airline pilot so I would commute and come back to see her), and we had a lot of great times together. For some reason, she never wanted to make it official, and one day she ended things with me. *She told me she lost the spark, and that we should stop seeing each other, but she never gave me any explanation. *There is the explanation you wanted, stated clearly by yourself. If I were you I would leave it at that. ymmv.
ff12343 Posted March 19, 2016 Posted March 19, 2016 That's tough. You can casually drop a 'hello' text and say you are in the area now and that's it. If she doesn't sound excited/suggest hanging out or something along those lines then that's your answer. 1
smackie9 Posted March 19, 2016 Posted March 19, 2016 She lost that spark conveniently because she had met someone else. You were just a stop over. I think you should move on. Usually the dumper is the one that would reach out if still interested. 3
d0nnivain Posted March 19, 2016 Posted March 19, 2016 Her losing the spark could be a lot of things. Since you want to try again, I'd reach out casually. Hey, I moved into your area recently & it got me thinking about you. If you're free, would you like to grab a drink? Keep the initial ask light. See how she reacts but don't pester her. 1
Jabron1 Posted March 19, 2016 Posted March 19, 2016 For the past year or so, I still think of her a decent amount to be honest, and I'm finally living where she is (my original hometown) and was thinking about calling her up to ask her back out. Don't do it. The only time it ever really works is when they were very high interest, and you were the one that dumped them. The best you can hope for is that she's bored at present, and considers you as an option. Or that she decides to keep you in orbit as a 'friend'. You should be moving on and seeing other women. 1
Empire87 Posted March 20, 2016 Posted March 20, 2016 What do you have to lose? Send her a text and test the waters. You can start the convo with something that tells her you've moved into the area permanently and finally settled down. After you get the "hey how've you been/what's new"s out of the way, then you can make her aware that if she'd like to get together sometime you'd enjoy it. Keep it light. Nothing serious or asking to much. Basically just tell her that if she's ever in the mood to have a few laughs and a phenomenal time, you're no longer going to need to schedule it around your layovers.
Tahirthegreat Posted March 20, 2016 Posted March 20, 2016 If she didnt think you were good enough for her then, then dont waste your time on her now.
ZA Dater Posted March 20, 2016 Posted March 20, 2016 I think you have more to loose here than you have to gain. However, its worth a try but prepare yourself for a second rejection.
PogoStick Posted March 20, 2016 Posted March 20, 2016 I wouldn't expect it to work again either. Your best play is to get a few hookups with her, and then you should be off chasing different women.
phineas Posted March 20, 2016 Posted March 20, 2016 you are a pilot. the only guys i know personally that get as many women as pilots are guys in popular local bands. you have options. and that's another point. You are a pilot. You travel. some women want a man who is local all the time. most people do not want to be that person in a relationship always going to events alone because their partner is out of town on work. she ended it. should accept that. women who don't want to lose a guy don't end it. 1
preraph Posted March 20, 2016 Posted March 20, 2016 She did give you a reason. The reason is she wasn't feeling it anymore. The attraction had ended. I'm sorry, but I don't think you can come back from that and should leave it. 1
truth_seeker Posted March 20, 2016 Posted March 20, 2016 This is a toss up. OP should move on but it can't hurt to drop a line and see what happens. At least he'll get closure as I think this is what he needs.
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