blueeyedblondie Posted March 18, 2016 Posted March 18, 2016 So I've been dating this guy for almost 4 months (lets call him Ezra). It was all a complete surprise. A guy I almost dated screwed me over by lying about being with other girls (He can be Max). At the time I thought Ezra was just a friend because that's all I really saw him as since I was completely hung up on Max. Then Max screwed up and I told a mutual friend of Ezra and I who also happened to be my best friend (lets call her Chapin). Chapin told Ezra because she knew he had feelings for me. We saw each other on Halloween when we hung out with our other friends, and Ezra and I stayed up most of the night watching a show on hulu. We ended up cuddling and I feel asleep on him. We talked a lot more after that and I started to realize I had feelings for him. He was the sweetest and always replied as fast as he could no matter what. But now that we're dating it's almost like he couldn't be bothered. I know a lot of the time he is working because he just got more hours at work. But when he's not I basically have to text him to remind him he's talking to me. He uses the "I was driving" excuse, even though I very well know he texts while driving all the time. (He's a really good driver so it doesn't bother me). Since my last relationship lasted over a year and was completely horrible and I was abused and forced to have sex and do other sexual things with him, I refuse to stay in a relationship when I'm unhappy. He's nothing bad at all compared to my ex. So I don't feel like leaving him would be fair. I wouldn't say I'm unhappy enough to leave and most people would say its stupid to get upset about this. But he's basically completely changed since we started dating. When we're together it's great, but when we're not I have to fight for his attention even when he's at home watching netflix. He even pulled the "now that I have you I don't have to try to get you anymore". I know I should just stop replying, but that's not going to change anything, he will still do it. Me not replying doesn't bother him either, he doesn't mind. So I'm confused on what to do because this frustrates me like crazy and its the only thing we really fight about. The last time we fought about it he got really mad and asked why I stayed with him and said he didn't want to change, even though he told me multiple times he was changing for me because he wanted to be with me for a long time. I just need advice....
Toodaloo Posted March 18, 2016 Posted March 18, 2016 From the sounds of things neither guy is good for you. From where I sit you don't know what a healthy relationship looks like so you have no clue how to get what you want. Time to free yourself up and stop worrying about blokes, hit the books and people watch so you can watch and see how good relationships work and what you should be looking for. Do not ever allow yourself to be in an abusive relationship again. Do not just settle because someone isn't hitting you. Go out with your girlfriends, read the news and educate yourself. That is what you should be concentrating on. Empowering yourself.
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