Ferret Posted March 18, 2016 Posted March 18, 2016 So I kind of feel bad and here is why we knew this guy bf knew him from work history I met him via bf he seamed like a nice guy I never overly got into personals with him but we are friendly acquaintances I guess you would say ok so I also have a female friend whose kinda shy when it comes to dating shes kind of been kicked in the gut more times then not so dating isn't a great experience for her.. Now mind you the guys been single for like ever since ive known him prob going on 2 years or so..now I knew they would hit it off and ive been kinda telling her about him and in all fairness it took her a while to decide if she wanted to date anyone after the last fiasco she put herself thu. Anyways she finally told me to go a head and talk to the dude and pass on her info if he was interested so I went a head and did it I left him a note on FB telling him my friend was interested in chating to him some time and if was too to let me know and I would have her drop him a message.. So I leave him the message and a week or more almost two weeks goes by I think ok well hes just not interested fair enough I kinda forget about it..then 4 days ago he finally replies and says sure he would like to get to know her I think awesome I tell her she messages him they talk every day straight like they talked for 6 hours straight the one day I thought oh nice maybe there might really be something she was actually happy and it was nice to see. They were talking and flirting and so on he was even telling her "how im fighting to stay awake cause I want to talk to you" and letting her know when he was getting in and out of the shower to me it was kinda past stuff buddies talk about so I was like wow ok this is cewl..so today she gets up the courage to ask him out to lunch some time when hes free..then comes the bomb.. Hes like im going to warn you I have a GF!..so I hope all the flirting has just been in fun..I couldn't believe it..to me that's kinda not right like who dose that? flirts with other girls like that for days when you have just started a new relationship.. Why didn't he just tell me that when he messaged me back I really don't get it hes ether really stupid or he was just playing the field and decided he liked what he has more then my friend? I really don't know..im left feeling kinda confused and bad for my friend..
Author Ferret Posted March 18, 2016 Author Posted March 18, 2016 89 views and no responses?...I was kinda of honestly asking what people thought about things...*lesigh....
LivingDeadGrl Posted March 18, 2016 Posted March 18, 2016 He sounds like a douche. Your friend obviously dodged a bullet. He is not boyfriend material and I feel sorry for the girl he's with. 3
smackie9 Posted March 18, 2016 Posted March 18, 2016 huh, now you both know what a lot of guys go through on a daily basis. 2
LoveRefreshed Posted March 18, 2016 Posted March 18, 2016 He sounds like a douche. Your friend obviously dodged a bullet. He is not boyfriend material and I feel sorry for the girl he's with. I think you need to be a bit more objective. I one time asked a girl out... the same day another guy did. I got shot down for it and she started dating the other guy. Another time, I was single with no leads, and then I met three girls at the same party. Who do I pick? Well, I flirted with all of them to find out. Heck, I wouldn't choose one until I slept with her. Not saying I have to sleep with all three or any of the others, I just don't start dating until I know we are sexually compatible. It seems many women (form my perspective) are very much routed in their 'type', such that despite me being charming as sin (in person, I know, it's lost here) and funny, I just might never have a chance as anything more than a friend and since, well let's face it, women are pretty insecure and most of the time don't want to be embarrassed by incorrectly assessing a guys intentions or want to be soft, they aren't going to be forward or blunt about one's bleak dating prospects. What that means is we as guys, if we find a woman attractive and interesting, we need to go for them despite any of our other pursuits. It's a numbers game, fo sho. Now, there are times I will focus when I like one more, but early on, it's so hard to tell. This guy might have been dating around or playing the field and maybe pressure or interest from this other girl forced him to play his hand and be decisive on another girl. Maybe he made his mind up recently, and instead of being a douche bag and ****ing/dating them both, he was honest and upfront about a recent change. Alas, none of us really know. Just because he has a dick, and flirted with a girl while having a gf doesn't make him a douche bag. Some people have open relationships. You don't know what boundaries he has set with his partner. Stop being so quick to judge.
Author Ferret Posted March 18, 2016 Author Posted March 18, 2016 huh, now you both know what a lot of guys go through on a daily basis. Huh?...why the hostility sorry I don't get this post..
LoveRefreshed Posted March 18, 2016 Posted March 18, 2016 Huh?...why the hostility sorry I don't get this post.. Smackie means tons of girls with boyfriends flirt. They flirt for drinks at the bar. They flirt for help with an assignment. They flirt because they feel ignored by their boyfriend. I screwed myself in life by sleeping with more girls with boyfriends than single girls. I'm cynical and I've had my heart broken too many times to really take sympathy for someone who just got told upfront before meeting someone in person that they have a relationship. Not to mention that this supports my theory of a recent relationship change Now mind you the guys been single for like ever since ive known him prob going on 2 years or so
smackie9 Posted March 18, 2016 Posted March 18, 2016 I wasn't being hostile...just pointing out this is something that guys go through more so than women. I just find it interesting you are confused about it. Some guys like him like the attention...maybe gets an ego boost out of it. It's sad that he doesn't seem to think it would bother anyone. 2
Author Ferret Posted March 18, 2016 Author Posted March 18, 2016 I think you need to be a bit more objective. I one time asked a girl out... the same day another guy did. I got shot down for it and she started dating the other guy. Another time, I was single with no leads, and then I met three girls at the same party. Who do I pick? Well, I flirted with all of them to find out. Heck, I wouldn't choose one until I slept with her. Not saying I have to sleep with all three or any of the others, I just don't start dating until I know we are sexually compatible. It seems many women (form my perspective) are very much routed in their 'type', such that despite me being charming as sin (in person, I know, it's lost here) and funny, I just might never have a chance as anything more than a friend and since, well let's face it, women are pretty insecure and most of the time don't want to be embarrassed by incorrectly assessing a guys intentions or want to be soft, they aren't going to be forward or blunt about one's bleak dating prospects. What that means is we as guys, if we find a woman attractive and interesting, we need to go for them despite any of our other pursuits. It's a numbers game, fo sho. Now, there are times I will focus when I like one more, but early on, it's so hard to tell. This guy might have been dating around or playing the field and maybe pressure or interest from this other girl forced him to play his hand and be decisive on another girl. Maybe he made his mind up recently, and instead of being a douche bag and ****ing/dating them both, he was honest and upfront about a recent change. Alas, none of us really know. Just because he has a dick, and flirted with a girl while having a gf doesn't make him a douche bag. Some people have open relationships. You don't know what boundaries he has set with his partner. Stop being so quick to judge. Well the fact he told me friend that he needed to warn her about his GF kinda tells me the boundary's I don't know that's just common sense to me I doubt the girl would be happy her brand new bf was chatting up another women for days straight... And to the one who kinda made it seam like all women do this to? ive never done anything like this hence why I asked if it was the norm these days..I guess maybe some do then again some sleep with people who they just met and I don't do that ether so go figure I guess im out of the "in" loop.. Im not saying I think the guys a total scum bag but I would question a person who dose this when in a brand new relationship "under a few weeks" especially since I knew he was single for so long one would think he wouldn't want to take the chance to mess anything up but who knows I guess..
LoveRefreshed Posted March 18, 2016 Posted March 18, 2016 Well the fact he told me friend that he needed to warn her about his GF kinda tells me the boundary's I don't know that's just common sense to me I doubt the girl would be happy her brand new bf was chatting up another women for days straight... And to the one who kinda made it seam like all women do this to? ive never done anything like this hence why I asked if it was the norm these days..I guess maybe some do then again some sleep with people who they just met and I don't do that ether so go figure I guess im out of the "in" loop.. Im not saying I think the guys a total scum bag but I would question a person who dose this when in a brand new relationship "under a few weeks" especially since I knew he was single for so long one would think he wouldn't want to take the chance to mess anything up but who knows I guess.. You miss the point that maybe he was single when he started chatting it up. People multidate all the time. Stop being so narrow minded.
Author Ferret Posted March 18, 2016 Author Posted March 18, 2016 Smackie means tons of girls with boyfriends flirt. They flirt for drinks at the bar. They flirt for help with an assignment. They flirt because they feel ignored by their boyfriend. I screwed myself in life by sleeping with more girls with boyfriends than single girls. I'm cynical and I've had my heart broken too many times to really take sympathy for someone who just got told upfront before meeting someone in person that they have a relationship. Not to mention that this supports my theory of a recent relationship change Im not really saying I think my friend deserves "sympathies" I do think he led her on for a few days and that's kinda not cewl why he didn't just tell me before hand he had just started a new relationship is beyond me. Even my bf said he didn't know cause the guy never spoke about it or even had it on his FB feed. I mean good on him he didn't take it further but the chat was kinda past the casual hey how you doing thing.. eh I don't know I guess flirting for days with the opposite sex is acctable these days go figure..after he told her about the gf he tried to keep talking to her..she kind of pulled away and has kept the responses short life goes on..
Author Ferret Posted March 18, 2016 Author Posted March 18, 2016 You miss the point that maybe he was single when he started chatting it up. People multidate all the time. Stop being so narrow minded. their relationship was made "official" on FB end of FEB hes been chatting her up for the last week...so no it wasn't a multi date still finding out what girl I want kinda situation im not being narrow minded..lol
Author Ferret Posted March 18, 2016 Author Posted March 18, 2016 I wasn't being hostile...just pointing out this is something that guys go through more so than women. I just find it interesting you are confused about it. Some guys like him like the attention...maybe gets an ego boost out of it. It's sad that he doesn't seem to think it would bother anyone. Im of the mindset when you have a relationship you care about you don't go looking else wheres to me the fact he even brought up the gf means he cares about the relationship so why the horse and pony show I dunno..I guess I just have older fashioned morels..edit to add I really need to learn how to multi post more often...lol 1
joseb Posted March 19, 2016 Posted March 19, 2016 Im of the mindset when you have a relationship you care about you don't go looking else wheres to me the fact he even brought up the gf means he cares about the relationship so why the horse and pony show I dunno..I guess I just have older fashioned morels..edit to add I really need to learn how to multi post more often...lol Well I agree, you shouldn't, but as alluded to in this thread, girls do this all the time. I've had more girls flirt with me in relationships than single girls. 2
AMJ Posted March 19, 2016 Posted March 19, 2016 I've had more girls flirt with me in relationships than single girls. Maybe you're more open when talking to girls who are taken than single girls?
joseb Posted March 19, 2016 Posted March 19, 2016 Maybe you're more open when talking to girls who are taken than single girls? It's possible sometimes. But typically I don't find out they are not single until a lot later, like when I ask for their number, or when I call said number to arrange a date! 1
contel3 Posted March 19, 2016 Posted March 19, 2016 (edited) I screwed myself in life by sleeping with more girls with boyfriends than single girls. I'm cynical and I've had my heart broken too many times to really take sympathy for someone who just got told upfront before meeting someone in person that they have a relationship. I can totally relate to that. I'm a woman, but I've been hit on by so many guys in a relationship I've stopped counting them. There's usually two types: 1) The liar. They don't tell you they have a relationship upfront. They string you along for however long it suits them, until you find out. Sometimes they'll even act like you're the official girlfriend. Those are the most dangerous. 2) Those who tell you upfront. Those are they guys who actually want to cheat, but feel a little guilty or don't want to be held accountable if anything goes wrong. I don't think it says anything about how much they like their girlfriend, they just want the responsibility of the cheating to be on you. Like "You knew I was in a relationship, so I did nothing wrong". It's also a way for them to make it clear from the get-go where your place is. By telling you they are in a relationship they make sure you don't expect too much from them. They manage your expectations down step by step. In case of your friend, he probably wants an admirer who won't interfere with his new relationship. Maybe he'd also want more, there's no way to tell. I by far prefer number two, but both kinds are annoying. I would just chalk it down to your friend being an attention seeker....things like this happen, there is nothing you can do about it. Edited March 19, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator language ~T
Leigh 87 Posted March 19, 2016 Posted March 19, 2016 Duh. .... Cos he isn't that into your friend OR his gf? Wants to have his cake and eat it too. It is self explanatory. ...
xpaperxcutx Posted March 19, 2016 Posted March 19, 2016 This is why if you want to play matchmaker, you make sure both parties are single first. That guy has a capital "A" on his head ( you can guess the words). I feel so bad forvthe girl. You don't text and chat for 6 hours without planning dates or going out. You better make sure she doesn't get played any longer by this douche.
stillafool Posted March 19, 2016 Posted March 19, 2016 89 views and no responses?...I was kinda of honestly asking what people thought about things...*lesigh.... It's too hard to read without punctuation.
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