Moving fast, red flags, lies, or just life?

[katiegrl]

Now she is texting me that she actually returned 2 days ago and wants to see me. Wtf????? Saying she won't return to her kid until the end of summer.

 

I was actually picturing her there with her husband and kid.

 

What do you mean WTF...come on!

 

You haven't figured it out yet?

 

Block, delete and move on!

 

She is bad news!!!

 

Come on now.... this is ridiculous!

[LivingDeadGrl]

Now she is texting me that she actually returned 2 days ago and wants to see me. Wtf????? Saying she won't return to her kid until the end of summer.

 

I was actually picturing her there with her husband and kid.

 

 

I truly hope you are not going to respond to this woman. She's a liar and my guess cheating on her husband. She's mental. Block block block!!

[Toodaloo]

Corey.

 

Stop contacting this woman. Just stop. No break up, no nothing. Every time you contact her you open the door for more crap. Just stop it.

[coreydillon]

Well of course I didn't listen to advice.

 

I asked if she wants her stuff back and told her I could drop it off.

 

This led her to come on stronger, and explain how it is really over with her ex. She once again wants to live with me, and keeps asking to buy a house with me with her large inheritance.

 

She came over last week, and explained everything, and would look right at me and ask "so am I your gf? Would you buy a house with me? Where would you like to live? Would you like more children? Do you need money for your business? "

 

So I told her "you are all over the map,and need to figure your life out". She said she is 100 percent positive,and would not change her mind.

 

So her ex is bringing the kid for her to see this Easter weekend.

 

She was texting me up until 930 am how she misses me, wants me, wants to live with me etc. then at 940 am she texts "I know I promised I wouldn't do this, but my ex is here. I am an emotional wreck. I am no good for you. Just delete my number"

[TheBathWater]

Dude, put the crack pipe down. You are getting strung along by her while she goes and does as (and possibly whomever) she pleases. From what you wrote, I don't know what to make of her motives with you entirely but she seems to be acting more out of self-interest than anything else. Run now. There's an old saying that applies here: what goes up must come down.

 

Recently met a girl online and we hit it off..

 

Before we met she asked what I was looking for. I told her I live alone, own a business, nice home, and ideally would like to live with a girl, as opposed to "just dating" ..

 

She told me this fits her perfect, as she is seeking the same..So we met, have a ton in common, great chemistry, and she is very attractive...But here start some inconsistencies....

 

I asked if she was single she said yes... I told her I was divorced, then she also said she was divorced.. After some more asking it seems some long story I do not understand about how she is still married.

 

Her father passed away, so she moved back to my state to settle the estate.. Her ex husband moved with their child to another state for work.. She said she has not seen her child or him for 5 months.. But, he has a large support network, so the child is better off with him for now.. During our first conversation she also said her husband is "in the process of moving" to the other state. This was a week ago..

 

So, after out first date she was sending me nude pics... Telling me she wants to go on the pill.. Asking If I would be open to threesomes with any girl I pick, etc..

 

She then invited my son and I over to meet her mom and make brunch for us on a Sunday.. Right before we were leaving she said her mom was having an attitude, so she brought food to my house for us...

 

The next day she doesn't text much, but asks to talk to me on the phone.. She said she misses her kid, and is not sure what to do.. We talked more, and I also asked her what she wants to do about what we talked about (living together).. She said she loves the idea, but I have to be sure.. She also said maybe she talks to much, doesn't want to invade my space etc... I said lets take it slower, but see each other more...She agrees, and we have plans to see each other the next day..(this is 10 at night)

 

The next morning she calls all excited and says "Change of plans!!! I am going to see my kid" Says she will be gone for a few days, but to make sure I know she wants to be with me.. Now this is either a coincidence, or she had a total change of mind.. I mean she didn't see her ex for 5 months, but the day we will see how well we work out together she is leaving town to see him...

 

She then later sent me a longer text saying "Just want you to know, I know I am not your gf yet or anything, but I love what we are doing.. I will be gone for a few days, and might not respond quickly to your texts as I will be giving my kid attention and i want to avoid problems with my ex..".. I said no problem, have a good time, text me when you are coming back'..She then made another comment about how she cant wait to be back and be in "our bed"

 

So, this was 2 and a half days ago and I heard nothing thus far...

 

It sort of seems like a lie that she was going out of town that day (this just happened over night?), but then she took them time to tell me I should know for sure she is not ghosting me or flaking..

 

She also told me some story about how she got to see her kid was by just agreeing not to want any of his retirement money... (Also makes no sense)

 

Thoughts? Other than this is "too fast", which I am sure many of you might say..

[coreydillon]

That's the confusing part. She drives an hour and a half to see me. She doesn't need money. She can have her pick of men. Yet she takes it to the extreme level of buying a home together, wanting to give me

Money, living together etc. she could just say "let's have some fun together"

 

And she looks right at me and asks what I want. If I would be her bf etc.

[Survivor12]

So anytime you are alone with a date they could kill you. Either sex. I agree.

 

Once again, as I understand it, she moved back home to settle her dads estate, will move out of that home in 2 months, has been trying to find a regular roomate, can't, met me and it would be great IF she is normal.

 

Or yes. She might be a serial killer tying to get into my bank account.

 

Or a woman who has lost custody of her own child & is looking for a replacement.

 

Yes, I'm being judgemental but to expose your child to a stranger (particularly one who has made no effort to see her own child in 5 months) under the guise of her/him being a trusted friend is simply irresponsible.

[mortensorchid]

Guy, run. Run fast and don't look back. The story started off nicely enough, but she is showing her true colors as a trainwreck and she wants to take you down with her.

[Jabron1]

Guy, run. Run fast and don't look back. The story started off nicely enough, but she is showing her true colors as a trainwreck and she wants to take you down with her.

 

 

Law Of Power #10: Avoid the Unhappy and Unlucky

You can die from someone else's misery - emotional states are as infectious as diseases. You may feel that you're helping that drowning man, but you are only precipitating your own disaster. The unfortunate draw misfortune onto themselves - they will also draw it onto you. Associate with the happy and fortunate instead.

 

Think with your brain OP, not your balls.

[Survivor12]

That's the confusing part. She drives an hour and a half to see me. She doesn't need money. She can have her pick of men. Yet she takes it to the extreme level of buying a home together, wanting to give me

Money, living together etc. she could just say "let's have some fun together"

 

And she looks right at me and asks what I want. If I would be her bf etc.

 

YOU were the one who said that you were looking for someone to move in with!

 

You think she could have her pick of men, but the truth is that not every man is gullible enough to buy what she is selling. How do you know that she inherited "a lot" of money? To someone who has nothing $5K is a fortune! Have you seen her bank statement?

 

...Or the divorce papers? Why is it necessary to pretend that you don't exist when her husband is nearby? He supposedly cheated on HER, remember? If she were truly done with him, there would be no reason to keep you hidden.

 

Did I mention that I have a bridge for sale?

 

Seriously, if you are willing to pay the price for playing the fool, that's up to you, but to subject your CHILD to the potential dangers (financial, emotional & otherwise), is shameful. THINK!

[Popsicle]

Some people attract and are attracted to drama (even though they ALWAYS claim the opposite). But you can tell because they'll get themselves in.....you guessed it, a bunch of drama.

 

And of course, according to them, it was absolutely unpreventable and never their fault. (And I'm the queen of England )

 

It's only been a few days you've even known her and look at all this drama she's exposed you to? If you like this, if this does not make you want to run, then you too, might be attracted to drama (the riskiness of it turns some on).

 

If you stay in this, make sure your energy levels are up because the drama factor is high with her. It won't stop.

 

If you don't want constant drama (and you should take some time to think about this and what you want) then dump her now.

Edited March 26, 2016 by Popsicle

[coreydillon]

YOU were the one who said that you were looking for someone to move in with!

 

You think she could have her pick of men, but the truth is that not every man is gullible enough to buy what she is selling. How do you know that she inherited "a lot" of money? To someone who has nothing $5K is a fortune! Have you seen her bank statement?

 

...Or the divorce papers? Why is it necessary to pretend that you don't exist when her husband is nearby? He supposedly cheated on HER, remember? If she were truly done with him, there would be no reason to keep you hidden.

 

Did I mention that I have a bridge for sale?

 

Seriously, if you are willing to pay the price for playing the fool, that's up to you, but to subject your CHILD to the potential dangers (financial, emotional & otherwise), is shameful. THINK!

 

Actually I did research and everything checked out. Divorced. Dad did pass away. Was wealthy. Etc. I don't really feel like explaining every single nuance and how it checks out. That's not what I was asking. And I don't think a play date after 2 years of being a single dad makes me a horrible father lol

[coreydillon]

Some people attract and are attracted to drama (even though they ALWAYS claim the opposite). But you can tell because they'll get themselves in.....you guessed it, a bunch of drama.

 

And of course, according to them, it was absolutely unpreventable and never their fault. (And I'm the queen of England )

 

It's only been a few days you've even known her and look at all this drama she's exposed you to? If you like this, if this does not make you want to run, then you too, might be attracted to drama (the riskiness of it turns some on).

 

If you stay in this, make sure your energy levels are up because the drama factor is high with her. It won't stop.

 

If you don't want constant drama (and you should take some time to think about this and what you want) then dump her now.

 

It's not the drama I like. I guess with a dramatic girl also , usually, has upsides as well. No I don't want to stick around with this forever

 

 

I guess it is either she was in a horrible marriage and her dad just pass so yes she is lonely. Or

 

She is a manipulator trying to lie and have her cake and eat it too

Edited March 26, 2016 by coreydillon

[TheBathWater]

That's the confusing part. She drives an hour and a half to see me. She doesn't need money. She can have her pick of men. Yet she takes it to the extreme level of buying a home together, wanting to give me

Money, living together etc. she could just say "let's have some fun together"

 

And she looks right at me and asks what I want. If I would be her bf etc.

 

I completely get the confusion aspect of it all. That's the worst part. It seriously screws with someone's head when their gut says "this woman is bad BAD news" but then the woman does things here and there to make you rationalize your feelings and second guess the whole process. It's total psychological confusion, I know.

 

I am telling you, man, you have got to run and not look back. I was with a woman not long ago who was very psychologically manipulative and narcissistic. The information you are giving me here reminds me a lot of her. You cannot help this person, she will not change, and what you are experiencing right now with her is only the beginning of a much bigger problem you will be left to deal with alone probably soon anyway. For your own sake, I would move on now, no matter how difficult that feels to do.

 

Good luck.

[coreydillon]

I completely get the confusion aspect of it all. That's the worst part. It seriously screws with someone's head when their gut says "this woman is bad BAD news" but then the woman does things here and there to make you rationalize your feelings and second guess the whole process. It's total psychological confusion, I know.

 

I am telling you, man, you have got to run and not look back. I was with a woman not long ago who was very psychologically manipulative and narcissistic. The information you are giving me here reminds me a lot of her. You cannot help this person, she will not change, and what you are experiencing right now with her is only the beginning of a much bigger problem you will be left to deal with alone probably soon anyway. For your own sake, I would move on now, no matter how difficult that feels to do.

 

Good luck.

 

Exactly. She spent the night and I wake up and this beautiful girl is smiling, making breakfast from scratch, cleaning my kitchen, telling me she knows what she wants etc. but on the other hand she is deeply confused and drastically one way or the other.

[AMJ]

Exactly. She spent the night and I wake up and this beautiful girl is smiling, making breakfast from scratch, cleaning my kitchen, telling me she knows what she wants etc. but on the other hand she is deeply confused and drastically one way or the other.

 

Hey, I mean...who can blame you for falling in love with a hot girl who satisfies you in bed, then blows your mind with pancakes and bacon, and finishes it off by scrubbing your kitchen clean too? She's taking care of all your needs, and even though you won't admit it, her psycho act has you hooked as well.

 

Yeah, there are a lot of red flags here, everyone else has already pointed them out, you know what they are. But you still don't care. The worst one for me is not seeing her own son for 5 months. Either she is a terrible mother and doesn't want to see her son, or she's not allowed to see her son, and both of those things are bad news.

 

She's got some agenda with you, whether you choose to see it or not. You insist it's not about the money, well ok....but- why does this all need to happen so quickly? Why the rush about buying a house together?

 

You've been dating for a month now, I guess? But in that time she's been out of town for a week. How much actual time have you two spent together?

 

One of my friends moved in with her boyfriend (now her husband) after only dating for three months, and we all thought that was really fast. They spent every waking minute together and there were no problems to speak of...no arguments, no red flags. Both were very stable people.

 

If you're really having fun with this woman, I mean...keep dating her. But why the need to rush moving in together or getting involved financially? If she's really interested in you then she won't mind waiting a normal amount of time before taking it to the next level.

[coreydillon]

Hey, I mean...who can blame you for falling in love with a hot girl who satisfies you in bed, then blows your mind with pancakes and bacon, and finishes it off by scrubbing your kitchen clean too? She's taking care of all your needs, and even though you won't admit it, her psycho act has you hooked as well.

 

Yeah, there are a lot of red flags here, everyone else has already pointed them out, you know what they are. But you still don't care. The worst one for me is not seeing her own son for 5 months. Either she is a terrible mother and doesn't want to see her son, or she's not allowed to see her son, and both of those things are bad news.

 

She's got some agenda with you, whether you choose to see it or not. You insist it's not about the money, well ok....but- why does this all need to happen so quickly? Why the rush about buying a house together?

 

You've been dating for a month now, I guess? But in that time she's been out of town for a week. How much actual time have you two spent together?

 

One of my friends moved in with her boyfriend (now her husband) after only dating for three months, and we all thought that was really fast. They spent every waking minute together and there were no problems to speak of...no arguments, no red flags. Both were very stable people.

 

If you're really having fun with this woman, I mean...keep dating her. But why the need to rush moving in together or getting involved financially? If she's really interested in you then she won't mind waiting a normal amount of time before taking it to the next level.

 

Well the kid thing makes sense. They were going through a divorce. She lived across the country with her ex. During that time her dad passed. So she moved into his house (cross country) to spend last days with him. Then her ex had his job move him (now closer). So it was easier for her to leave the child in school with ex and his extended family help than to take the kid out of school.

 

Now he lives closer and she saw the kid the last two weekends. But he wants her back and is using the kid in a way to do so so she has to go through court etc. I also told her to try and work things out with him.

 

So it's all new for everyone. I think my only play is to tell her to figure her life out and get back to me.

 

As for the rush, I am assuming she likes me and wants to "lock me down", but at the same time conflicted about what to do with her ex. He wants to live with her as a divorced couple.

Edited March 26, 2016 by coreydillon

[AMJ]

The "kid thing" doesn't make sense. Why did settling her father's estate and planning a funeral take 5 entire months? Why didn't she make an effort to at least visit her child during that time? We live in a telecommuting world where you can make a lot of things happen long distance, like selling a house. I guess a concept like "good parenting" is still relative, but I don't know a single mother who would be okay with not seeing their child for 5 months. I'm a grown adult and my own mom goes nuts if she doesn't see me at least once every two months.

 

But you didn't answer the other questions...why the big rush on her end to move in together and buy a home? And for her to invest in your business?

[truth_seeker]

why the big rush on her end to move in together and buy a home? And for her to invest in your business?

 

She's a con-artist. She's looking to use OP, suck him dry (in more ways than one) and ditch him when she takes him for everything he's got. She has him hoodwinked with the sex, cooking, house chores, etc... it's all a ploy for him to be manipulated and fooled. I recommend doing a background check on her to find out if she has any arrest warrants in other states.

[coreydillon]

The "kid thing" doesn't make sense. Why did settling her father's estate and planning a funeral take 5 entire months? Why didn't she make an effort to at least visit her child during that time? We live in a telecommuting world where you can make a lot of things happen long distance, like selling a house. I guess a concept like "good parenting" is still relative, but I don't know a single mother who would be okay with not seeing their child for 5 months. I'm a grown adult and my own mom goes nuts if she doesn't see me at least once every two months.

 

But you didn't answer the other questions...why the big rush on her end to move in together and buy a home? And for her to invest in your business?

 

Well when my ex wife's dad died I went 3 months without seeing my son. I was with him every night for 2 years, then bam. Not sure if that makes me a "bad dad". It was a tough and confusing time. I know it is very easy to label "good" and "bad" but often times the other parent makes things extremely difficult. Also there is a lot of "delaying" by the other partner. "I'll be there next week". Or my job is moving me "next week" etc.

[coreydillon]

She's a con-artist. She's looking to use OP, suck him dry (in more ways than one) and ditch him when she takes him for everything he's got. She has him hoodwinked with the sex, cooking, house chores, etc... it's all a ploy for him to be manipulated and fooled. I recommend doing a background check on her to find out if she has any arrest warrants in other states.

 

Lol. I said I already did this. not the situation.

[AMJ]

So..why the big rush on her end to move in together and buy a home? And for her to invest in your business?

[Jabron1]

So..why the big rush on her end to move in together and buy a home? And for her to invest in your business?

 

A better question is why would the OP even entertain the idea?

[AMJ]

I agree, but I was hoping to get him to question her motives more. I think his intentions are good, he's lonely and misses being married probably- tell me if I'm wrong, OP.

But her intentions can't in any way be good, that's clear.

[coreydillon]

So..why the big rush on her end to move in together and buy a home? And for her to invest in your business?

 

I am guessing both of us were married and like having someone close and around. Why the rush? I am assuming she doesn't like the idea of me finding someone else. She doesn't like staying in a big house alone.

 

And yeah. If NOT FOR THE DRAMA aren't we all dating to spend time and eventually a life with someone? I mean I guess we all have ulterior motives.

 

Now this is the only thing I was actually asking advice for. Why would she be with me, look at me, and really ask "would you be interested in buying a huge home with me". "Would you be my bf". "Would you like to live with me"

 

But then she leaves to see her kid and seems to be conflicted as to whether or not she should work things out with her ex or if it is even possible.

 

So going fast to me is ok IF it is actually real. It is more like she is just saying she wants certain things she can't even have.

 

 

I mean this is the pattern. She asks to see me

More. I say ok. Then she disappears and is confused.

 

She comes back and escalates it all after apologizing. Now wants to buy a house together. Be my gf. Promises she is over with her ex. Then texts me "delete my

Number. I am

No good for you"

 

Also she seems to have purposely left jewelry at my house.

Edited March 26, 2016 by coreydillon