Sawatis Posted March 15, 2016 Posted March 15, 2016 Me and my girlfriend have been together for almost 6 months now thints have been going great but then she started to get weird and was diagnosed with hormonal imbalance she's lost confused and scared and doesn't know if she feels the same about me now she did want to take a break a few weeks ago but I talked to her nicely about hormonal imbalance and she agreed and said were strong and said we will wait until I get back I am currently in upstate newyork and she's on a trip to Florida but we get back around the 26th of this month anyways back to the issue 5 days ago she wanted to go on a break again and was totally different again she said she doesn't want to keep telling herself things and the 1 day of the break in the morning she sent a text saying I need a lot of time I mean a lot of time to think I haven't forgotten about you completely yet here's one little thing that little thing was my child hood stuffed animal I gave her she packed it in her suitcase to bring with her to Florida but day 3 4 it was 1 am and I couldn't take it anymore I texted her this "Annabella i cant sleep i had a dream of us and woke up in tears this break is killing me i tried my hardest to respect your time and space you need but I just can't I miss you insanely I miss you I miss your hugs your kisses braiding your hair i miss holding you i miss picking you up i miss cuddling and rubbing your head i miss watching as you fall asleep in my arms i miss walking to the park eith you i miss your laugh your eyes your smile i even miss your frisky teases you do here and there i just miss you this short break has proven something to me i love you but here and there i felt a little off and doubted my love for you i was wrong I love you more then I ever thought I did I'm insanely in love with you i think of you i think of us every second of the day I came across the notes/drawings you left me and I just broke down i got pissed at zach and yelled at him he just told me find another bitch bro that's always his advice and hes abusive to his gf i think but I'm sick of it and yeah there are other girls but i dont want them i want you your so special and amazing i know you want time and if you really need time still then fine but I want to work things out instead of a break if possible i want to show you i want to see you and love you i want to work through this with you it's killing me i never knew that I could love someone so much being away from you physically is already killing me i know you know you more but were all human were a like and im not trying to play with your emotions but your lost your scared confused what your going through has happen to other people its common what your goimg through has destroyed strong couples and even marragies boom just like even that off feeling you have towards me is probably due to the same issue i want to help you get through it so we can get through it and continue our life together theres no need for this break im not telling you what to do and no i dont know the depth of your body but we are human and other people have gone through what your going through right now there human too i worried that once I left something like this would happen i love you I'm sorry if your mad at me for sending this but this took a lot of balls to send but I just can't take it anymore I love you and want to work it out but if you still need time then fine but please talk to me about it so we can set something up and rules and whatever is needed I'm not trying to play with your emotions or anything I love you so very much." She said I'm sorry I just don't know if I feel the same anymore and I talked to her some more explaining my feelings and about hormonal imbalance and she said I'll give you another chance but after this were friends and just know now your pushing it i tried not to but I did I just handle it anymore ever since this hormonal imbalance has started it just got destroyed and I don't want to lose her how can I make this chance I have to show her and to help her through this so we can be together and show her love to me and show her our love please help.
Zahara Posted March 15, 2016 Posted March 15, 2016 Punctuation is your friend. It was too difficult to read. 2
MidwestUSA Posted March 15, 2016 Posted March 15, 2016 I gather most of that wall was a text he sent her. OP, you just drove her away for good. Sorry.
whichwayisup Posted March 15, 2016 Posted March 15, 2016 She's ask for space, so you have no choice but to give it to her. If you don't leave her alone for a week and let her contact you next, eventually she will get fed up and totally end it with you. The neediness you expel is off putting to her. She is going through something that is out of her control and right now can't handle a relationship and so much contact. It's hard to let go of someone you love, it's okay to be upset and feel sad, scared and alone but you have to respect her desire to be on her own for a while. Get busy with your friends, focus on other things to keep your mind occupied.
preraph Posted March 15, 2016 Posted March 15, 2016 What part of "I need space" don't you understand? You completely disrespected her by sending her that barrage of neediness after she asked you to give her some space. If you agree to be friends with her, you'll be wasting more of your time. If she doesn't feel the same anymore, you should let her go like a healthy grown man and move on with your life. She's been trying to let you down easy, but you just keep making her tell you over and over she doesn't love you anymore.
ExpatInItaly Posted March 15, 2016 Posted March 15, 2016 OP, you must learn to punctuate your writing. That was not easy to read and most posters won't bother trying to. The same goes for that text you sent her. I'm sorry, but I think you pushed way too hard by sending her that. Begging isn't attractive, especially after she told you she wanted space. You didn't respect her boundary and unfortunately this will probably be the end. A little dignity and self-respect go a long way, even though it hurts to let someone go. Stop contacting her. Give her the breathing room she asked you for. It's not her responsibility to make you feel good, know what I mean? Get out with friends, work out, do what you need to do to stay occupied and feeling good about yourself. May I ask, is this your first relationship? 1
Author Sawatis Posted March 15, 2016 Author Posted March 15, 2016 Yes it is its my first true relationship
ExpatInItaly Posted March 15, 2016 Posted March 15, 2016 Yes it is its my first true relationship A word of advice from those of us more experienced: never give someone so much power to control your happiness. I am not saying she is controlling, but it seems you depend an awful lot on her to fill some emotional needs, hence your overwhelming fear of losing her. Yes, heartbreak - especially the first - is painful. This is totally normal. But you need to also find other outlets for happiness and security, that don't come from a relationship. This is partly what makes people so afraid to lose a partner; they have come so attached to that person that they feel they can't function without them. This mindset isn't healthy. You need to feel more secure in yourself, as insecurity inevitably creeps into the relationship and drives us to do and say things that aren't well-advised (ie. the very emotional text you sent) Also, keep in mind that even if this doesn't work out, there will be other and greater opportunities for love in your life. Do you mind if I ask how old you both are?
neowulf Posted March 16, 2016 Posted March 16, 2016 13 her and 15 me You are both mere children my friend. You have your whole lives ahead of you, so many experiences left to have. I know the pain and confusion can seem overwhelming at times, but it's all part of the journey. Don't hold on so tight. In the end, you can't force love, you can't force others to stay with you. Relax, be yourselves and when the time comes, let each other go kindly.
preraph Posted March 16, 2016 Posted March 16, 2016 There are many girls in your future. She was just the first. You're too young to be searching for "the right one." So just try to go have fun doing social things and enjoy yourself. She's far too young to be having to put up with your over the top intensity. She's just a little girl still. It probably scares her to death. She's too young and sweet to just tell you harshly to go away, but she's let you know she's not comfortable, so you should honor that. There's a billion girls in the world. Don't get so focused on one that you make yourself miserable. We all have different preferences, and the purpose of dating is to see how compatible. She decided you weren't because you wanted to much time and were too intense, sounds like. So you're not a match, and just have to accept that. Keep your eyes open for other girls who have tried to be near you or talk to you and take one of them to a dance or for a tea or something.
Author Sawatis Posted March 18, 2016 Author Posted March 18, 2016 I don't know how to handle this she is doubting that she even loves me and put us on a break but i had searched and found that PMS causes the girl to like lose her love and feelings then in like hours it comes back i have found so many stories that it seems common how should I handle this should I talk to her about it?
mrldii Posted March 18, 2016 Posted March 18, 2016 What makes you believe this is PMS (i.e., hormonally) related? 1
Author Sawatis Posted March 18, 2016 Author Posted March 18, 2016 She self diagnosed her self as well as a doctor also the symptoms are very visible 1
Satu Posted March 18, 2016 Posted March 18, 2016 She self diagnosed her self as well as a doctor also the symptoms are very visible Has the doctor offered any possible solutions?
Author Sawatis Posted March 18, 2016 Author Posted March 18, 2016 Not sure since she put us on a break 1
aussietigerwolf Posted March 18, 2016 Posted March 18, 2016 The Dr didn't suggest any hormone stabilising stuff?? 1
mrldii Posted March 18, 2016 Posted March 18, 2016 13 years of age is a little young to be diagnosed with PMS and/or to be on a regimen to *deal with it* AND a little young to determine that IT'S the reason she's "no longer in love". It's normal growing pains...for both of you. Best of luck, OP... 1
Author Sawatis Posted March 18, 2016 Author Posted March 18, 2016 Like I said I'm not sure since she put us on a break she also went on a trip to Florida 1
Satu Posted March 18, 2016 Posted March 18, 2016 You're on a break. She's in Florida. Spend some time with the other people in your life. These other people matter too. 1
Lady2163 Posted March 18, 2016 Posted March 18, 2016 Punctuation and paragraphs are your friend. Wall of text made it impossible to read.
Gloria25 Posted March 18, 2016 Posted March 18, 2016 13 years of age is a little young to be diagnosed with PMS and/or to be on a regimen to *deal with it* AND a little young to determine that IT'S the reason she's "no longer in love". It's normal growing pains...for both of you. Best of luck, OP... Ummm, I don't know about that.... I had bad PMS as a teen. I got nausea, dizzy spells, and almost passed out a few times. Geesh, in my 20's I remember passing out on detail in the military and everyone was laughing at me. I'm approaching 40 and although I had some treatment for the pain a few years ago, I still have issues. Also, the treatment they did for me, not sure if it messed up my hormones even more cuz gosh, I remember being in such a fog. Not sure if it was the Oxicodone or whatever painkillers they told me I needed to take (I didn't wanna take it, I do Alieve, not pain meds...I mean look at the recent stories of Caucasian families upset doctors dispensing these gateway into heroin pain pills like candy). Anywho, my PMS, well I believe PMDD, comes different evey month. Sometimes it crying, sadness, anger,pain, sleeppyness, nausea, food binges (grease, fish, pickles, mustard and vanilla ice cream - all at once..ummmm). Right now I have some spotting and it should be around the corner and I'm on fire right now. I could punch a hole in a wall. Actually, once I flipped a table over. If it gets really bad I'll call in sick to work cuz I interact with people a lot at my job and when I'm PMSing, stuff that I'd normally roll my eyes about and dust off my shoulder become WWIII. But when I'm with a guy I care about I tell him to give me space. I'll say like "This is not a good time" and distance myself until the devil is out of my system. I don't care about my neighbor, cuz I mean nothing to him and he considers me a joke for his entertainment/ego. So while I may be on a PMDD anger rant, I don't care. If I'm with a guy who cares about me and me about him, it's different, I put She-Hulk away until I'm good again. In other words, while your gf is young and IMO, too young to be dating seriously (you both don't know real "love"), she was wise enough to back off when she was PMSing, but you kept on pushing and you got She-Hulk.
mrldii Posted March 18, 2016 Posted March 18, 2016 @ gloria25: I stand by my post. You are retroactively (at 40) remembering your lifetime of suffering with PMS. She just started having periods; it's a little early to decide that all of her life's ills will be caused by PMS. Equally, it's a little early to decide that the fateful ending of this modern-day Romeo and Juliet tale is due to her raging hormones, i.e., "PMS". It's a first puppy love; there's a reason it's called a "first love" and a "puppy love".
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