3 months since the break up & my ex gf is contacting me a lot

[DoritoLover]

Hi again guys,

 

So I'm back here again for some advice and I guess to help me clear my head.

 

Brief overview :

 

We broke up after a 6 year relationship, we were very close and lived together for 5 years. We moved to London together and we both got very busy, I found out that she had a huge crush on someone she was working with and had been texting the guy A LOT... I confronted her with it and said I wasn't being treated that way and ended things. I moved out, we now live separately but in the same area.

 

I went full no contact for 2 weeks but since then we've seen each other, hung out together, we speak on the phone and social media and we slept together again once.

 

This last week she's called me a couple of times just to see how my day's been, this has been first time since we split up that this has been the reason for the call... all other contact has been for a specific reasons (financial matters, picking up belongings etc) that have naturally led to us spending a bit of time together.

 

We hung out tonight after she called and invited me over for a beer to celebrate St.Patricks day. We only had one beer each and then she asked me, very sincerely... ''are you happy?'' - to which i replied, ''yes, I'm doing good'' - for the first time in months I was able to say that and actually mean it. I still care deeply for her, and miss her but I'm finding it easier to snap myself out of feeling low because we're not together.

 

She then went on to ask me about my love life, in a nutshell she was asking if I am seeing anyone. I've had a couple of one night stands but there's no-one specific so I said ''well, I'm doing ok but I'm not interested in being involved too seriously with anyone at the minute.'' She then went on to say how she wasn't interested in having someone special in her life for at least the next year because of being in a relationship with me for so long. I told her I was on the same page and we left it at that.

 

The reason I'm slightly confused is this... is she trying to figure out if I've moved on and have someone new in my life, or is she playing games to see if I'm still in love with her?

 

Thanks in advance for any advice/opinions you guys out there have. And if anyone else is going through a break up, stay strong, it does get easier!

 

Thanks!

[Jersey born raised]

Did she ever hook up with the co-worker? Has she ever admitted to you what she did? It is impossible to have any relationship based on lies.

 

You need to ask yourself "to what purpose does this serve, for me and for her".

[BC1980]

The reason I'm slightly confused is this... is she trying to figure out if I've moved on and have someone new in my life, or is she playing games to see if I'm still in love with her?

 

She's probably just curious. My post-breakup sounds really similar to yours actually. We talked on the phone, hung out a few times, talked about dating other people, ect. I think it's just a way to wean yourself off the relationship. Though I recommend cutting contact immediately, it's often really hard to do after a LTR. So you find yourself in these ambiguous situations that aren't healthy for either party.

 

But honestly, she's likely curious, and her ego might be talking. Nothing is worse than dumping someone who moves on faster than you right? When I stopped initiating contact with my ex and stopped responding to him, he told me he thought I was dating someone else. He said that was very hard on him, but guess what? He still didn't want to get back together with me. It's ego, curiosity, and weaning herself off the relationship. NC is advised because you will remove yourself from the position of having to wonder about all of this.