Thorgs Posted March 17, 2016 Posted March 17, 2016 I've been seeing a girl for about 2 months and it's been 3 weeks since I've last seen her. She's starting to play games. What is the best way to walk away while leaving the door open? I'm not trying to play mind games because that's just not me, I just want her to know I respect myself too much to be played with...if it gets to that point. What are some things I would say? How do I bring it up? Does anyone have any real life experiences where you walked away and she came back and respected you? Do I call her out on her BS? Thanks!
Zapbasket Posted March 17, 2016 Posted March 17, 2016 You walk away to walk away. You walk away because what's going on with you and her is not working for you, not making you feel good, and beneath the standards you have set for yourself and for a relationship that honors YOU. Walking away is not about the other person, but about you, and for you. If what you want is to be with her in a mutually respectful, loving relationship, then you communicate directly with her about what is bothering you, how it makes you feel, and what you need to be different for you to continue dating her. If she can't meet your expectations, or doesn't want to, then you walk away because your aim is to leave her behind and open yourself to a relationship with a person who DOES treat you as you want to be treated. 9
SammySammy Posted March 17, 2016 Posted March 17, 2016 You walk away to walk away. You walk away because what's going on with you and her is not working for you, not making you feel good, and beneath the standards you have set for yourself and for a relationship that honors YOU. Walking away is not about the other person, but about you, and for you. If what you want is to be with her in a mutually respectful, loving relationship, then you communicate directly with her about what is bothering you, how it makes you feel, and what you need to be different for you to continue dating her. If she can't meet your expectations, or doesn't want to, then you walk away because your aim is to leave her behind and open yourself to a relationship with a person who DOES treat you as you want to be treated. Right. Walking away is not meant to create attraction. Not a gimmick or tool to be used to get someone to respect you or come back to you. 1
oldshirt Posted March 17, 2016 Posted March 17, 2016 walking away is breaking up. If you want to break up and stop seeing her then break up with her and walk away. If you are talking about walking away as a means to get her to change her behavior and some weird idea that that will make her have the hots for you, then you are just as manipulative and game playing as she is. It makes you seem like a chic. If you don't want her playing games, then simply don't play them. Stop thinking and acting like a chic. Be a man and show some leadership. Directly state what it is you want and where you want things to go and how you want things to be and then walk the walk yourself. Her options are to either go along with you or to opt out. if she opts out then leave her be and go on about your own business. 1
Author Thorgs Posted March 18, 2016 Author Posted March 18, 2016 walking away is breaking up. If you want to break up and stop seeing her then break up with her and walk away. If you are talking about walking away as a means to get her to change her behavior and some weird idea that that will make her have the hots for you, then you are just as manipulative and game playing as she is. It makes you seem like a chic. If you don't want her playing games, then simply don't play them. Stop thinking and acting like a chic. Be a man and show some leadership. Directly state what it is you want and where you want things to go and how you want things to be and then walk the walk yourself. Her options are to either go along with you or to opt out. if she opts out then leave her be and go on about your own business. Okay, what's the best way to call her out on her BS and way to handle it if she is in denial? Obviously I'd walk away at that point.
Zippy2000 Posted March 18, 2016 Posted March 18, 2016 Does walking away really create attraction? Yes and no! Let me answer your question for you. If she she likes you enough then, yes. If shes not that into you then, no. Given the facts its only been 2 months. If you walked away its unlikely it will create any attraction as 2 months isnt a lot of investment. If you walk away she might ask you whats wrong. She may come back out of dear she is losing you and girls hate losing friends or dare I say losing attention too. In my life 2 girls have ever come back to me. It might not be the exact same situation as yours but similar. I had 2 girls walk away from me. Without any drama, fights or commotion. I just let them go. The 1st girl I was best friends with her and the 2nd girl I just cut her out of my life. Girl number 1 came back to me after 6 years! Girl number 2 came back after 7 months! My advice? Dont play games. If you want to walk then thats up to you but there is no gaurantee they will come back. Why not just be an adult and make the relationship work and talk about it. 1
Author Thorgs Posted March 18, 2016 Author Posted March 18, 2016 Does walking away really create attraction? Yes and no! Let me answer your question for you. If she she likes you enough then, yes. If shes not that into you then, no. Given the facts its only been 2 months. If you walked away its unlikely it will create any attraction as 2 months isnt a lot of investment. If you walk away she might ask you whats wrong. She may come back out of dear she is losing you and girls hate losing friends or dare I say losing attention too. In my life 2 girls have ever come back to me. It might not be the exact same situation as yours but similar. I had 2 girls walk away from me. Without any drama, fights or commotion. I just let them go. The 1st girl I was best friends with her and the 2nd girl I just cut her out of my life. Girl number 1 came back to me after 6 years! Girl number 2 came back after 7 months! My advice? Dont play games. If you want to walk then thats up to you but there is no gaurantee they will come back. Why not just be an adult and make the relationship work and talk about it. I've tried talking about it but she beats around the bush. I'll try one more time and if she continues to act like that then I'll politely wish her the best since I'm not the a-hole type, especially since I caught this new STD from her called Feelings
Woggle Posted March 18, 2016 Posted March 18, 2016 It can as a side effect but it shouldn't be your motivation.
Redhead14 Posted March 18, 2016 Posted March 18, 2016 Does walking away create attraction? -- In this case, it might attract a girl who plays games and beats around the bush . . . if you want that chasing you, walk away and "leave the door open" so you can continue to deal with that. If not, tell her you're moving on and delete and block her number.
phineas Posted March 18, 2016 Posted March 18, 2016 After 2 months she's playing games and won't make time for you for 3 weeks? dude, she's playing the field and making time for someone else. just stop talking to her. If she comes looking for you, ignore her. when she gets annoying you tell her "look, I haven't seen you in 3 weeks. your lack of effort in this is a major turn-off. We should just be friends" If she's playing stupid games she will stop then and there and make time for you. If she's playing the field you won't hear from her again & your problem is solved. This is how I handle it. I don't beat around the bush and don't play games. 2
d0nnivain Posted March 18, 2016 Posted March 18, 2016 Walking away to see if she chases you is game playing nonsense. If you want her behavior to change, sit her down, & ask her what's going on Point blank present her with the issues she has caused. Give her a clear out. Explain that you understand that disappearing for 3 weeks is an indication of lack of interest but something else makes you wonder if she's playing games, trying to see if you will chase her. Tell her you prefer a more direct approach. If she likes you as much as you like her, you'd prefer to move forward without the games but if she's not feeling it, give her permission to cut you lose then leave.
Erik30 Posted March 18, 2016 Posted March 18, 2016 Walking away doesn't create attraction, but it will make clear if someone wants to be a part of your life. If they don't care that much about you, you won't hear from them again. You could ask her out one more time, and if she gives you some excuse, just tell her she can give you a call whenever she is available to hang out. Then you walk away, and don't call/text her anymore.
todreaminblue Posted March 18, 2016 Posted March 18, 2016 i think it is far better to communicate than walk away...because walking away is another game it seems in this situation.....deb
Popsicle Posted March 18, 2016 Posted March 18, 2016 NOTHING can create attraction, IMO. It is either there or not there already. Anything else is just wasting time. 1
Toodaloo Posted March 18, 2016 Posted March 18, 2016 People who walk away from situations like this value themselves. People who value themselves are attractive. So you have a double edge here. Your phrasing suggests that you want to walk away to play games and try and get her back. An attractive person wouldn't do that. An attractive person would say to themselves, this broad is messing me about, I am not standing for that crap, walk away and stay away. That is the difference. Your priorities should be education, health and fitness and quality of life. Currently you are not even thinking about that all you are thinking about is a silly girl who isn't all that interested in you... Do you see what I am saying? Yes you should walk. Not to attract her back (even if she does you should carry on walking), but to value yourself and not be a doormat. 5
truth_seeker Posted March 18, 2016 Posted March 18, 2016 NOTHING can create attraction, IMO. It is either there or not there already. Anything else is just wasting time. Agree 100%. Holding onto the attraction is another story...
smudge21 Posted March 18, 2016 Posted March 18, 2016 Agreed, the attraction has to be there to begin with. Yes it can be hidden or tiny even, and therefore it can grow over time... but there has to be something there to begin with. Trouble is, it can also go forever and once that happens, it doesn't matter whether you stay or go.
brothers343 Posted March 18, 2016 Posted March 18, 2016 This is why I don't miss tha dating life. To much BS. Tell her your not the person to play games with. Tell her when ever she's ready to give you a call and if she doesn't.....well then there's plenty of woman that are ready. Good luck.
katiegrl Posted March 18, 2016 Posted March 18, 2016 (edited) I've been seeing a girl for about 2 months and it's been 3 weeks since I've last seen her. She's starting to play games. What is the best way to walk away while leaving the door open? I'm not trying to play mind games because that's just not me, I just want her to know I respect myself too much to be played with...if it gets to that point. What are some things I would say? How do I bring it up? Does anyone have any real life experiences where you walked away and she came back and respected you? Do I call her out on her BS? Thanks! What makes you think she's playing games? She probably just lost interest and doesn't have gumption to tell you....so she behaves elusively hoping you get the message. Just move on....she obviously has. Edited March 18, 2016 by katiegrl
JourneyLady Posted March 18, 2016 Posted March 18, 2016 I've tried talking about it but she beats around the bush. I'll try one more time and if she continues to act like that then I'll politely wish her the best since I'm not the a-hole type, especially since I caught this new STD from her called Feelings Be real sure that You are walking the walk as someone said earlier. My ex kept talking about ME changing, all the while most of what he said was projection because he was criticizing me more often than I said anything about him... It put pressure on me because I was always sure he was going to find something to "correct". I kept a journal of his criticisms and asked him to keep a journal of mine and there was very little in his. A couple of time I got upset because something (else) was bothering him - I went to hug the guy and he'd say something nasty or start a fight instead of enjoying the hug. So we've ended it. He pretty much said *I* have to change or "else" when I was trying to come up with a plan to make things better (I was spending too much time with him far away from home - more pressure). I had told him he does the same things, but I am willing to be with him and continue to work on things. He expressed his side as an ultimatum. I am highly resentful that he doesn't see his own criticisms. Also sometimes I am describing the *circumstances* of my state of mind, but he took it all as criticism. He dished it out, but couldn't take it and did not recognize nor apologize for his attempts at control. So he's out of my life. I take responsibility for my shortcomings and come up with plans to help me stop doing whatever it is. He didn't, but expected me to carry the whole load... So make working on your joint flaws a partnership thing. If that doesn't work, yeah, maybe you need to let go.
truth_seeker Posted March 18, 2016 Posted March 18, 2016 What makes you think she's playing games? She probably just lost interest and doesn't have gumption to tell you....so she behaves elusively hoping you get the message. Just move on....she obviously has. Harsh but could be the case.
lil hoodlum Posted March 19, 2016 Posted March 19, 2016 Sounds like to me that she's just not really interested in you. Sorry. I wouldn't bother to put any more effort into this one. Just walk away.
Author Thorgs Posted March 19, 2016 Author Posted March 19, 2016 I walked away. I'm done with her BS...the things she said to me after that really made me happy I don't have to deal with her anymore since they were so far off the mark. On to better things! 1
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