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Lack Of Dates

Leigh 87

By Leigh 87
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Leigh 87 Established Member

Leigh 87

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Hey Elswyth,

 

You're actually correct regard my student allowance.

 

As soon as he and I sign our new lease, I won't get government help; I'll depend on me 200 a week I earn.

 

So you are actually right in your assessment.

 

We are in between houses atm and crashing at my parents until we find a dog friendly place within our budget. Shouldn't take long..we aint fusy with houses.

 

So once I updated my details once he and I move, it's my work and his income that'll support me.

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Leigh 87 Established Member

Leigh 87

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I actually agree with Leigh in that working full time while studying over here is pretty rare and not necessary for most people. We have a ton of Asian students who are only allowed to work a max of 20 hours a week. Minimum wage isn't terrible here, so it's still a useful income.

And to help students fund their studies the government helps with assistance. I'm happy for her to have more time to focus on her study.

 

What I do object to is people wanting that money, then expecting their boyfriend to pay for everything while hiding said boyfriends contributions so as to avail of the assistance. You are in a defacto relationship. If he supports you you are not entitled to that assistance. Full stop. Period.

 

You want to be spoiled with expensive gifts and gestures. And as you say many times you like spoiling him back. I really doubt that's what the government had in mind when they created the assistance scheme.

 

You say all guys are supposed to finance their girlfriend through uni. Utter nonsense. There are many guys who do enter into this relationship alright, they are called sugar Daddies.

 

 

 

I actually had a few sugar daddies approach me.

 

Disgusting.

 

I'll just be a prostitute if that ever appeals.

 

I like generous and selfless guys. I don't want my bf to have to help ms out heaps once I work full time and I'd, in fact, looove to spoil him when I am working full time in a decent job!

MidwestUSA Established Member

MidwestUSA

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I'm so confused. There is a ton of middle ground between staying home and going out for a $220 dinner.

 

You don't consider 150 for a movie and take out noodles 'middle ground'? :confused:

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joseb Established Member

joseb

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You don't consider 150 for a movie and take out noodles 'middle ground'? :confused:

 

Lol.

 

Movies are expensive here full price, but nobody pays that, especially not students, so probably 13x2.

My local Thai place isn't cheap but I can get a nice pas Thai for about 12.

So more like 50 than 150.

 

Even going gold class and getting the fanciest Takeaway noodles money can buy I cant see it going to 150!

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Leigh 87 Established Member

Leigh 87

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Sorry to burst your bubble, but I'm not jealous of you at all. Yes, my bf bought me slippers for Christmas. And I bought him a teakettle. We'd been dating 8 weeks, and were still getting to know each other. Even so, the slippers were not without thought and meaning - they were intended for me to leave at his house so that I didn't have to bring mine with me every time I spent the night, and so that my feet were warm while at his house. He'd even warm them up in his towel warmer before I got there - because that's what people who care for each other do.

 

And yes, we split the check when we went out to dinner. And you know what? I was perfectly happy to. Here's the thing - his overall income is higher than mine, but since he is self-employed, and the number of clients he was seeing had dropped, he was not making that much more than I was at the time. So we were both doing what we needed to do to live within our respective means. I wasn't going to make him go broke taking me out to dinner when I was perfectly capable, and willing, to help. Because I'm not materialistic or shallow, and don't expect these things of my boyfriend.

 

And now that his client-load is increasing, guess what? He buys dinner more often. He's planning an upcoming weekend trip for us, and is even letting me choose where we go. Do I expect these things from him? Absolutely not. And I will still pay for the occasional meal out, and I'll probably help with the trip, since he'll be doing the driving - but if things change for him financially, and he can no longer afford to take me, am I going to be on a public forum complaining about it? You'd better believe the answer is no.

 

I love my boyfriend because he treats me with care and respect and love, not because he spoils me (but he does spoil me - with acts of love and care and affection).

 

All of this, however, is totally beside the point - which is that your bf owes you nothing more than what he's already giving you. You have control over this situation - if he's not giving you what you need, you're more than free to find someone who does - but good luck with that.

 

Well my bf knows that I'm shallow and materialistic and he still adores the heck out of me. LOL.

 

Eacb to their own.

 

And I have already had a barrage of men that wanted a relationship with me who were all well off and who were into me. I would pick my average waged boyfriend over anyone on the planet.

 

I am so very lucky to have him.

 

When we move in together out if my parents flat, he is not expecting and he is in fact AGAINST me working full time. He intends to supplement my 200 a qsek i currently earn from work wirh fully paid rent. So I'll earn 100 for food and transportation and the other 100 for me to save or non necessities.

 

i love how Generous he is. God knows, I'dabsolutely do the same for him if he wantedto further hus studies and I was on a stable full time income!

 

I dont expect it of him; I did choose a man however, who I knew was this was inclined.

Gershwin Member

Gershwin

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Hi Leigh,

 

Don't compare your reality with someone else's highlight reels.

 

I personally think supporting your SO through uni weighs much more than dinner dates. Plus in oz, the norm is more splitting bills & taking turns paying than picking up tabs everytime, so don't get bogged down into what he doesn't provide you with.

 

Re: spycam, I figure he would be more nervous in his own house than in public. So try to ease him into going out slowly, not full on going to a super packed beach or Easter show, but maybe museum & hiking spot etc. Dates don't have to be expensive at all & I live in Sydney lol. Get creative & it will be more memorable.

Popsicle Established Member

Popsicle

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You're blowing it. You need to chill.

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MidwestUSA Established Member

MidwestUSA

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Lol.

 

Movies are expensive here full price, but nobody pays that, especially not students, so probably 13x2.

My local Thai place isn't cheap but I can get a nice pas Thai for about 12.

So more like 50 than 150.

 

Even going gold class and getting the fanciest Takeaway noodles money can buy I cant see it going to 150!

 

Okay, what are you doing tomorrow night?

 

I'll split the bill, if you won't think I'm low class for doing so. ;)

 

Oh, beer. I need beer. :)

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Blanco Established Member

Blanco

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Does anyone know whether or not there have been a lot of men wanting to have a relationship with the OP? I don't think she's ever made that clear.

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Els Established Member

Els

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Hey Elswyth,

 

You're actually correct regard my student allowance.

 

As soon as he and I sign our new lease, I won't get government help; I'll depend on me 200 a week I earn.

 

So you are actually right in your assessment.

 

We are in between houses atm and crashing at my parents until we find a dog friendly place within our budget. Shouldn't take long..we aint fusy with houses.

 

So once I updated my details once he and I move, it's my work and his income that'll support me.

 

Happy to hear that. I really hope you'll stick to that.

 

Lol.

 

Movies are expensive here full price, but nobody pays that, especially not students, so probably 13x2.

My local Thai place isn't cheap but I can get a nice pas Thai for about 12.

So more like 50 than 150.

 

Even going gold class and getting the fanciest Takeaway noodles money can buy I cant see it going to 150!

 

You guys across the ditch are really lucky as far as Asian food goes! When my guy and I visited Sydney, none of our meals were above $50 and we still had an amazingly grand time. My favourites were the fresh seafood platter from the fish market and desserts from a lovely little matcha specialty shop. I've heard Melbourne is similar, too.

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mattelipstick Established Member

mattelipstick

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I swear, people like you are probably jealous that some women are able to land kind boyfriends who spoil them.

 

I had loads of guys wanting a relationship with me who actually all delighted in treating ms to the dates and who offeredto take careof the rent and bills during college when I made it known that I was due to go backsoon. I didn't like them enough romantically so I chose ro end things anyway.

 

I guess my friend and I are just very very lucky that we can find men who don't force us to work full time during uni and instead, PREFER to make our lives easier.

 

You mentioned you had a well of guy who gives you slippers for Christmas and bdays and splits the check despite his good income? My two female friends don't personally date tight men. It doesn't make us less kind or loyal to our partners.

 

We all have different preferences.

 

You're not being forced to date me. Nor was my bf. Despitehaving options in women, he picked me because I make him happy and he enjoys/ prefers spoiling me to splitting the check.

 

My outlook is very common. Then again, just as many women aren't into being taken out and spoilt either. There is no wrong or right way to go about our personal relationships.

 

You are not a very nice person. And your pictures are still up.

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MidwestUSA Established Member

MidwestUSA

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I swear, people like you are probably jealous that some women are able to land kind boyfriends who spoil them.

 

I had loads of guys wanting a relationship with me who actually all delighted in treating ms to the dates and who offeredto take careof the rent and bills during college when I made it known that I was due to go backsoon.

 

 

Does anyone know whether or not there have been a lot of men wanting to have a relationship with the OP? I don't think she's ever made that clear.

 

Yes, she's made it clear. No, I'm not jealous.

scorpiogirl Established Member

scorpiogirl

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Does anyone know whether or not there have been a lot of men wanting to have a relationship with the OP? I don't think she's ever made that clear.

 

I don't think so. Didn't pick up on it up either.

Let me go back to page 1 and read again.

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Blanco Established Member

Blanco

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Yes, she's made it clear. No, I'm not jealous.

 

I wasn't serious.

 

She's mentioned it a bunch in this thread (and other threads), as though there being guys dumb enough to trot down that path justifies her crappy view of what a relationship should involve.

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MidwestUSA Established Member

MidwestUSA

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I don't think so. Didn't pick up on it up either.

Let me go back to page 1 and read again.

 

I saved you the time and quoted. :(

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joseb Established Member

joseb

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Happy to hear that. I really hope you'll stick to that.

 

You guys across the ditch are really lucky as far as Asian food goes! When my guy and I visited Sydney, none of our meals were above $50 and we still had an amazingly grand time. My favourites were the fresh seafood platter from the fish market and desserts from a lovely little matcha specialty shop. I've heard Melbourne is similar, too.

 

Yeah Asian food is where it's at over here, especially if you don't want to spend a fortune. You can spend a lot, if you want to, but the difference in food quality is minimal - actually I think the cheaper places have better (more authentic) food most of the time.

 

I miss good Mexican from the states, but it is getting (slowly) better.

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MidwestUSA Established Member

MidwestUSA

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Posted (edited)

 

I miss good Mexican from the states, but it is getting (slowly) better.

 

 

Well, my treat! But I have to up it to Dos Equis Dark or Negro Modelo, so we may exceed 50 bucks. Don't worry, I got it.

 

Oh heck, my senior citizen discount should offset the beer, almost forgot!

Edited by MidwestUSA
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scorpiogirl Established Member

scorpiogirl

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Okay, what are you doing tomorrow night?

 

I'll split the bill, if you won't think I'm low class for doing so. ;)

 

Oh, beer. I need beer. :)

 

Ah Midwest, I don't think you'll know your true worth if you pay your way. Unless you can't get a date if you don't.

When I was a student and worked two part-time jobs, I couldn't afford the movies, so I guess I am having flashbacks to when I couldn't get someone to splurge on a movie ticket, let alone dinner. I guess I'm totes jealous, like Shystrawberry up there :o

 

And I still have to buy my own clothes. The moment I got my first part time position I stopped receiving money from my family for clothes, toiletries and books. I also refused when they tried to get me something expensive, and in fact I contributed up the household whatever I could. I also paid for all my schooling without government assistance.

 

I would never think of moving into my parents' house with a boyfriend to save my money at their expense.

I just bought my mother a brand new stove and oven. More than that, I'm buying her a house hopefully soon.

 

If I compare what I've done financially, and you don't do financially, then I pick me. I've never had a man but me a dress, pay my rent, pay for travel. Not because they don't offer but because I refuse. So for me to complain about a lack of dates, when this guy is carrying the load already, would be unthinkable.

 

I am "inherently disgusted" by someone who would expect and accept this situation. Your poor boyfriend. You don't take his needs into account because you're "shallow and need to be spoiled".

 

And before you throw your podiatry studies into the mix, I'm a qualified barrister.

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MidwestUSA Established Member

MidwestUSA

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And before you throw your podiatry studies into the mix, I'm a qualified barrister.

 

Oh, awesome! I LOVE Starbucks!

 

I'll buy. Can you give me a discount?

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scorpiogirl Established Member

scorpiogirl

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Oh, awesome! I LOVE Starbucks!

 

I'll buy. Can you give me a discount?

 

For you, FREE. Buy yourself a dress with your savings.

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Ferret Established Member

Ferret

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the slippers were not without thought and meaning .

 

Don't feel bad I bet those slippers had more meaning then every fancy dress her bf has been pressured into buying her...im sorry but that comment was uncalled for OP you are def looking "spoiled" tho I will say that and not in a flattering way!

 

Most students don't get to spend their cash on luxuries that's the point people are tying to make to you and if you truly believe yourself to be as high brow as your making yourself out to be then why are you lowering yourself to government assistance?

 

I mean if you can truly afford the better things in life why not just buy them on your own and not expect the government or your BF to supply you with them?...again no "student" should be buying a 40$ bottle of shampoo when they are a government supplement...

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Leigh 87 Established Member

Leigh 87

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Does anyone know whether or not there have been a lot of men wanting to have a relationship with the OP? I don't think she's ever made that clear.

 

They have.

 

Look, I am quite slim and have a nice figure and smile so it shouldn't really be hard ro believe?

 

I have in fact had a lot of men want to spoil me in the context of a relationship.

 

Without feeling the romance. ...I couldn't in good conscious accept their geneous offer.

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Leigh 87 Established Member

Leigh 87

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Why do people honestly believe that a slim 30 year old woman who has a decent enough education and a nice smile, would have issues finding men that wanna date me?

 

Crazy.

 

Women my age have options. At least I always have in my mid 20s and beyond.

Ferret Established Member

Ferret

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They have.

 

Look, I am quite slim and have a nice figure and smile so it shouldn't really be hard ro believe?

 

I have in fact had a lot of men want to spoil me in the context of a relationship.

 

Without feeling the romance. ...I couldn't in good conscious accept their geneous offer.

Looks are not everything in this world believe it it or not but then again you are shallow so I guess you don't have that view..

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Leigh 87 Established Member

Leigh 87

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Don't feel bad I bet those slippers had more meaning then every fancy dress her bf has been pressured into buying her...im sorry but that comment was uncalled for OP you are def looking "spoiled" tho I will say that and not in a flattering way!

 

Most students don't get to spend their cash on luxuries that's the point people are tying to make to you and if you truly believe yourself to be as high brow as your making yourself out to be then why are you lowering yourself to government assistance?

 

I mean if you can truly afford the better things in life why not just buy them on your own and not expect the government or your BF to supply you with them?...again no "student" should be buying a 40$ bottle of shampoo when they are a government supplement...

 

40 for shampoo andconditioner combination. Including both a leave in conditioner and regular one. ... so that's 3 for 40 bucks.....

 

And not evey woman is a slipper and soap for Christmas type. That doesn't make us crappy people. Some women truly enjoy being a bit spoilt.

While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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