Lack Of Dates

March 20, 2016

I am personally aiming for the sort of lifestyle where both me and a partner earn 70 to 100k each per year.

100 dollar birthday and Christmas gifts simply isn't the type of lifestyle I aspire to.

Nor do I expect to live in a nice house in a nice area; I expect the average house in an average neighborhood. I don't expect yearly overseas trips or all designer clothes; although 1 or 2 designer hand bags would be on the cards.

I aspire to live comfortably and to be able to splash out on my partner and for him to do the same.

I am not a woman who wants a life with my partner that entails cheap gifts a man that doesn't spoil me. I am not content with the simple life devoid of any luxuries.

So it makes sense that I seek out a partner who aspires to that type of lifestyle.

Wanting a nice xmas ans bday gift doesn't mean I need 1000s of dollars spent either. ... I want my men to be generous in commensurate to their income. ..... my bf is in an average income so I was very delighted with his 500 dollar xmas gift. I was thrilled and felt like a million dollars. Because gifting is my love language. So I picked that kind of a guy.

I did stress in my OP that I was very content and felt lucky that my bf spoils me. It was me wanting to be taken on more dates, not expensive ones either.

How dare you talk down about his gift to me 100 gift is not "cheap" in most peoples eyes..I do hope you get all you "aspire for" and all the materialistic things bring you many years of joy!..That said I think you will find as you age your looks you like to go on about will fade and its not looking like your going to be scoring in the compassion or understanding catigorty of relationships..

So I suggest you make sure to get your fill of all those needful materialistic things now OP while the gettings good...in the mean time I will enjoy my petty little exsistance with the man I genuinely love and who dose the same in return for me..sure my punch card of over priced items might not go as high as yours but the reward is much much greater and im genuinely sorry you will never experience such a thing..

Its clear now your language is not "love" its cash flow big difference..you def were right you are indeed "shallow" and I do feel for your BF god help him if his cash flow ever end he will prob find himself out on his ears quicker then sooner..

March 20, 2016

I didn't ask my average earning bf to splurge on an 1000 dollar hotel room.....

Or for him to treat me to those dresses or the bag or the Pandora charms he got me " just because " he felt like it....

.
He is an absolutely lovely guy. Very good to me. But I wouldn't have settled for any less. I knew it would take a while to find a guy as generous as this and also have the chemistry ans personal compatability. I was fully expecting to find it later in life. ...

I was being totally unreasonable with the date night thing. He spoils me as it is for what he has available and I was in the wrong in blowing up at him the other day....

With dates..... I would rather not go at all if the guy doesn't treat me to them. Short of overseas trips which I'd of course go halves in.

It is the premise of a man asking a girl to go halves that... I personally wouldn't enter into a relationship with ( that kind if man). People just get so bent out of shape about my preferences because they assume that I don't want a career or my own money and that I want to be totally dependant on a man.

Atm me and my bf have both decided to save all our money and to go without most non necessities until he progresses at work. I realize that he cannot keep buying me treats even every few months, because we should really me leaving " treats" to bdays xmas znd anniversaries. ....

Well, that's a start, and good for you! I hope things work out for you both.

March 20, 2016

Between this thread and the "I don't know if I want a baby because I don't want to be poor" thread and the "people don't become professionals to have a low income" idea, I can't help but notice a common theme of money and lifestyle. Starting to wonder if it's the same through all your threads.

You may want to reconsider the things which will be important to you when you die.

March 20, 2016

Between this thread and the "I don't know if I want a baby because I don't want to be poor" thread and the "people don't become professionals to have a low income" idea, I can't help but notice a common theme of money and lifestyle. Starting to wonder if it's the same through all your threads.

You may want to reconsider the things which will be important to you when you die.

Cant help but wonder how the BF would feel reading all this carry on and seeing how the OP truly feels..she keeps saying shes not asking for any of the expensive gifts but she sure seams on the sour side when they are not present IE the want for more expensive dates...some times we dont have to actually come out and say it its implied in ones behavior and I cant help but think that's prob the case..it is kinda sad the OP really doesn't get what people are trying to say..and shes now in her 30s time is not on her side forever..

March 20, 2016

This whole thread makes me want to go out and get a whole new wardrobe.

March 20, 2016

This whole thread makes me want to go out and get a whole new wardrobe.

Don't forget the matching bags and jewelry!...

March 20, 2016

Don't forget the matching bags and jewelry!...

And some expensive moisturizer made of babies' tears, and laced with gold leaf. It's the best

March 20, 2016

My bf finds me very loving and compassionate.

I experience true love and feelings like the rest of you.

The first thing that drew me to my bf was our first glace at each other; we felt great chemistry before even talking and it became apparent on our first phone conversation that we could make each other laugh. We saw that we had a spiritual mental and emotional connection by the end of the first date.

Which btw, he didn't take me to dinner on the first date. I even shouted us both the first round of drinks.

Second date? He got me subway and we chilled at mine.

Third date and beyond? He bought me over to the luxury company house they hired out for their workers ( he worked as a plumber) and he bought hot dogs and chocolate and we ate at that home....

There were no fancy dinners or even dinner dates. I knew he was only in a very average paid job.

He is Ukrainian though and has old fashioned values regarding women though, which is what I am after. I could tell that when he took me out he'd pay.

Meanwhile, I honestly had an array of more well off men that wanted to pursue me. As do most 30 yr olds. I certainly didn't pick for money or status. LOL.

He bought take away pizzas and the like for the first while. It wasn't until I flew to South America ( I took a semester off last year to work full time in a career related field as a podiatry assistant) and saved fod the trip.

Despite just flying overseas a month or two after meeting my bf, it was THEN that his urge to spoil shined through; he wired me about 400 whilst I was traveling just because he wanted to.

He surprised me at the airport after my 16 br flight by whisking me away to an expensive weekend away. Too bad I had a virus and was passed out on the bed most of the time.

And then for Christmas, he got me 500 worth of jewellery. So I didn't initially pick him for his ability to pamper me. That stuff came after we were in a relationship and established.

I've had men fly me interstate and wine and dine me on date 1; I didn't go for the guy who presented as though he was the most cashed up.

I swear on my mums life that I really did have a lot of well off men pursuing me over the years.

March 20, 2016

Between this thread and the "I don't know if I want a baby because I don't want to be poor" thread and the "people don't become professionals to have a low income" idea, I can't help but notice a common theme of money and lifestyle. Starting to wonder if it's the same through all your threads.

You may want to reconsider the things which will be important to you when you die.

I honestly don't believe that people go to uni and do degrees like podiatry with the goal of living hand to mouth after their studies.

I don't need extreme luxuries. Wanting to graduate and afford decent skincare and middle of the range clothes from shops like Portmans and Cue ( an Aussie thing guys that thisposter gets) is NOT aspiring some unrealistic luxury.

Occasionally beautytreatments, nice skincare and weekly pilates lessons is more or less all I want out of my life post college. Not yearly overseas trips or weekly expensive dates.

I want to support myself, have a partner who can support himself, and to hopefully have 1 or 2 children and be able to not only afford to live but to be able to get a few nice things still ( like new clothes once or twice a year and decent skincare and pilates lessons).

I am not asking for an extravagant life at all.

March 20, 2016

I have had men with good jobs want to date me.

Some even cried when I dumped them because they were really into me and as an empathetic person, I became close to them forthe month that we dated.

I have been stalked for 4 years by a rich army guy my age.

He periodically makes new Facebook pages and uses his mates phone numbers just to get in contact. ......

He quite literally BEGGED me to let him be my sugar daddy.

I won't go into how we met but it was years ago.

Lol if I wanted a RELATIONSHIP with a rich guy I have had numerous opportunities..........

LOL. OK.

Well then, fabulous girlfriend. I do think you should let this nice man go and tell the rich stalker you've changed your mind. Then you'll be out shopping and eating at five star restaurants instead of complaining about your boring dating lifestyle.

March 20, 2016

I honestly don't believe that people go to uni and do degrees like podiatry with the goal of living hand to mouth after their studies.

Ok, let's look at Social Work for an example. It pays terribly, but the passion for helping others makes the job worthwhile. Some people do degrees for the love of the job - not for love of money.

Also, sharing the cots of dates, having moderately priced cosmetics and plucking your own eyebrows aren't living "hand to mouth". Frankly, with the things you are afraid of financially, I think you have no idea what it is to *truly* live hand to mouth.

March 20, 2016

This whole thread makes me want to go out and get a whole new wardrobe.

LOL!

And maybe some skin care products.

March 20, 2016

And some expensive moisturizer made of babies' tears, and laced with gold leaf. It's the best

I almost choked on my bran flakes..ty for the laugh..

March 20, 2016

I am not asking for an extravagant life at all.

YOU say that, but you contradict yourself all the time.

You need to be aware that some of the things you want your man to spend money on ARE extravagant and if he continues to pander to you he will soon be bankrupt.

Money does not grow on trees and once you start living in the real world you will find a podiatrist's wages do not go very far.

YOU are wasting his hard earned cash on fripperies, stuff that is completely meaningless rubbish.

IF you truly want to settle down with this man then grow up and start saving for both your futures.

March 20, 2016

This whole thread makes me want to go out and get a whole new wardrobe.

You can get a flatpack one for about 30 quid. Now that's how you spend cautiously.

100 dollar birthday and Christmas gifts simply isn't the type of lifestyle I aspire to.

Hang on there. Isn't it the thought that counts, not the value? You've only been together 8 months (I was assuming it was much longer than that) and he's paying for pretty much everything AND buying very expensive gifts.

When you're qualified and earning 70-100k will you still need your boyfriend to buy you $500 gifts or will it need to be even more expensive to stand out against your wage? The guy sounds stretched as it is!

Edited March 20, 2016 by TheArtist

March 20, 2016

I honestly don't believe that people go to uni and do degrees like podiatry with the goal of living hand to mouth after their studies.

I don't need extreme luxuries. Wanting to graduate and afford decent skincare and middle of the range clothes from shops like Portmans and Cue ( an Aussie thing guys that thisposter gets) is NOT aspiring some unrealistic luxury.

Occasionally beautytreatments, nice skincare and weekly pilates lessons is more or less all I want out of my life post college. Not yearly overseas trips or weekly expensive dates.

I want to support myself, have a partner who can support himself, and to hopefully have 1 or 2 children and be able to not only afford to live but to be able to get a few nice things still ( like new clothes once or twice a year and decent skincare and pilates lessons).

I am not asking for an extravagant life at all.

Leigh, you don't really understand how expensive life is. Which makes sense because I think your parents took care of you and you never had to worry about money problems.

Once you buy a house, have cars, pets and kids you'll find out how much life costs. You'll be shocked.

March 20, 2016

Once you buy a house, have cars, pets and kids you'll find out how much life costs. You'll be shocked.

Exactly.

That "huge and comfortable" salary will soon evaporate unless you keep a tight hold on the budget.

A man that is willing to blow huge sums of money merely to please your materialistic bent, is NOT really what is needed in the real world of bills to pay and mouths to feed.

March 20, 2016

YOU say that, but you contradict yourself all the time.
You need to be aware that some of the things you want your man to spend money on ARE extravagant and if he continues to pander to you he will soon be bankrupt.
Money does not grow on trees and once you start living in the real world you will find a podiatrist's wages do not go very far.

YOU are wasting his hard earned cash on fripperies, stuff that is completely meaningless rubbish.
IF you truly want to settle down with this man then grow up and start saving for both your futures.

This is a word i am going use more often.

March 20, 2016

This is a word i am going use more often.

I need some new clothes.

March 20, 2016

I know parents of 1 child who both work full time and they do not live pay check to paycheck.

All the parents I know that have 2 or less kids do not live paycheck to paycheck. They ALL have a few hundred dollars left at the end of each week.

Single mothers, 1 income households and people with more than 2 pr 3 kids are the only people I've met with that have no income leftover and don't afford anything but the bare minimum.

I sincerely doubt two full time incomes will amount to a life of only bare necessities. That's absurd. Maybe if one of us fell ill.. But not two healthy adults who work full time.

March 20, 2016

I know parents of 1 child who both work full time and they do not live pay check to paycheck.

All the parents I know that have 2 or less kids do not live paycheck to paycheck. They ALL have a few hundred dollars left at the end of each week.

Single mothers, 1 income households and people with more than 2 pr 3 kids are the only people I've met with that have no income leftover and don't afford anything but the bare minimum.

I sincerely doubt two full time incomes will amount to a life of only bare necessities. That's absurd. Maybe if one of us fell ill.. But not two healthy adults who work full time.

Actually, the people I know living paycheck to paycheck are earning good money but spend it all (and more) on fripperies (thanks elaine!)

March 20, 2016

My parents had only me and two full time incomes.

They had a large sized house and mediocre cars that worked well and weren't old.

We ALWAYS had disposable income? And my mother was a teacher and my dad an area manager for a phone company.

Guess what? When when my dad fell ill and was unable to work, we still had a disposable income on my mother's income alone. She did go to live overseas in order to afford to support an ill and incapacitated husband and child.

So on her 130K a year income teaching English overseas, she afforded me: the best private school in the state, piano lessons and a few overseas trips for me... to America and Asia.....

My partner and I will be on about 130k joint to begin with however, the average salaries for people in his industry are 75K and podiatrist typically earn at least 90K.

So yeah, if one of us fell ill it would be tough and like my own mum, we would have to make huge personal sacrifices. But two working adults on above average wages? We would be just fine....

We don't want kids if we find that we will literally only be able to afford food shelter clean water and absolutely NO non essentials for years. We would rather be childless and explore altruistic endeavors with our bigger child free income....

We have the same outlook on kids and finances. We are both quite sure that two full time working adults tend to be able to have a small family and get by with more than the bare minimum.

Oh. And we aren't purchasing a mortgage. I am an only child and my parents are giving me their house when and if we start a family. My dad is very ill and my mum and I have already decided that she'll be living with me when dad likely goes earlier than her ( he could be gone anytime and was not supposed to live past 50).

So with all that in mind, mum wants one of those large and stylish granny flats out the back of a small property. . That is our plan. I am her only child and our family also has done this- built a large granny flat ( that's just as nice as a small house) and had their elderly parents living in it in the yard of the main small house.

I won't be won't be taking out a mortgage. And my partner nor I need the best car or the most expensive designer stuff. We just want the basics with quality skincare, perhaps some dental work as we age and the odd overseas trip or domestic travel.........

I don't intend to live hand to mouth without non essentials. That is for people who flip burgers. Not degree holders in fields that pay comfortable enough living wages.

March 20, 2016

Actually, the people I know living paycheck to paycheck are earning good money but spend it all (and more) on fripperies (thanks elaine!)

This is very true. I know the feeling.

I foolishly squandered my kids inheritance on all kinds of frippery type things.

I am guessing the OP is used to a certain level of opulence in her life. maybe from an early age. But i am not sure.

I remember working PT jobs at uni. (beer money)

It was nice to earn my own cash. Mum didn`t really have enough to help me out.

Maybe have a few less dates OP? Or just a walk in the evening down to the local cafe or bar.

It`s the company that matters.

Missed the OP`s last post (Sorry)

March 20, 2016

My partner and I will be on about 130k joint to begin with however, the average salaries for people in his industry are 75K and podiatrist typically earn at least 90K.

So yeah, if one of us fell ill it would be tough and like my own mum, we would have to make huge personal sacrifices. But two working adults on above average wages? We would be just fine....

We don't want kids if we find that we will literally only be able to afford food shelter clean water and absolutely NO non essentials for years. We would rather be childless and explore altruistic endeavors with our bigger child free income....

I don't intend to live hand to mouth without non essentials. That is for people who flip burgers. Not degree holders in fields that pay comfortable enough living wages.

Of course that's plenty of money to live on. But the couple I mentioned are on more than that and they spend it all. On things like $200 meals, expensive jewelery, clothes, overpriced cars that sit idly 99% of the time, luxury hotels, etc.

If they had another 100k they would likely spend all that too.

There is a huge middle ground between living hand to mouth with no non essentials and wracking up credit card debt every month on crap.

Do you think that you are living with "food water and absolutely no non essentials" at the moment?

Your posts are really confusing, if you took this one isolation I would assume you are a financially astute person who can save and isn't wasteful. Then I think back to all the other posts.

March 20, 2016

Actually, the people I know living paycheck to paycheck are earning good money but spend it all (and more) on fripperies (thanks elaine!)

I agree......

The things that matter most to us are getting to spend the weekends drinking some wines and beer together while watching movies and talking. ...

Aside from the alcohol... the only non essentials I EVER intend to splurge on are: decent skincare, botox when I start getting forehead lines ( 300 a pop and I'd use it twice a year) and yeah thats it. And occasional dates out no more than once a month and not to super fancy places.

I don't think we'll have an issue on that budget. .....

We plan on the one kid really. Prob no more..... but aren't decided on even having children as of yet as the relationship is too new and we have no idea where our lives will take us by the time I graduate. ......

Sign In

Lack Of Dates

Recommended Posts

Ferret

strawberryshortstack

basil67

Ferret

Haydn

Ferret

scorpiogirl

Leigh 87

Leigh 87

Summer3

basil67

Summer3

Ferret

elaine567

TheArtist

Summer3

elaine567

Haydn

Summer3

Leigh 87

joseb

Leigh 87

Haydn

joseb

Leigh 87

What's New

My Activity Streams

More...