abby_tx Posted March 17, 2016 Posted March 17, 2016 Just curious to hear OLD stories/experiences where you clicked really well via text and it did or didn't translate well in person. I learned from experience that it's best to limit conversation until you actually meet someone in person, but I sorta failed with this one guy on an OLD site. He's hilarious and engaging. We quickly went from messaging on the OLD site to texting. He's so easy to talk to. Each time I read his texts, I have the biggest smile on my face. I know it's mutual and he's just excited about me as I am him. I want to say I've never clicked this well with anyone. I want to say it's different. I want to say despite me being quiet, small, and awkward and him being tall, athletic, and outgoing we will get along just as well in real life. I'M SO NERVOUS. Share your stories to distract me.
Smoothman Posted March 17, 2016 Posted March 17, 2016 Nothing can prepare you for the first meeting. Face to face is all that counts. I've had many experiences of amazing, funny, engaging texting, long, heartfelt, exciting phone calls, but it all fell flat upon the first meeting. Text/call just long enough to build rapport, and arrange the first meeting.
Mrin Posted March 17, 2016 Posted March 17, 2016 Let's see here... - I've never not clicked and then clicked in person - I've definitely clicked and then not clicked - And for sure not clicked and then not clicked But I am the type of person that can have a thrilling conversation with a door knob. So it is really easy for me to click pre-meet up. I tend to agree with the poster above about not overdoing it pre-meet. But I will tell you I clicked really damn loudly pre-meet with my soulmate. Oddly enough, I didn't click sexually with her when we met the first time. But the second time - well that's all she wrote. ;-) All it took was a kiss.
Author abby_tx Posted March 17, 2016 Author Posted March 17, 2016 Nothing can prepare you for the first meeting. Face to face is all that counts. I've had many experiences of amazing, funny, engaging texting, long, heartfelt, exciting phone calls, but it all fell flat upon the first meeting. Text/call just long enough to build rapport, and arrange the first meeting. Agreed 100%. Followed this advice the last time I dated but this time I didn't have the willpower.
Author abby_tx Posted March 17, 2016 Author Posted March 17, 2016 Let's see here... - I've never not clicked and then clicked in person - I've definitely clicked and then not clicked - And for sure not clicked and then not clicked But I am the type of person that can have a thrilling conversation with a door knob. So it is really easy for me to click pre-meet up. I tend to agree with the poster above about not overdoing it pre-meet. But I will tell you I clicked really damn loudly pre-meet with my soulmate. Oddly enough, I didn't click sexually with her when we met the first time. But the second time - well that's all she wrote. ;-) All it took was a kiss. Are you still with her? What was the reason for not clicking sexually the first date? No attraction?
Gaeta Posted March 17, 2016 Posted March 17, 2016 Oh ya! I did click online and on text then met the person and my castle of cards came tumbling down, he was nothing like I had imagine. This one time the guy was close to 400-lbs when his pics showed him at a healthy weight. So no, I know clicking online means nothing. 1
Michelle ma Belle Posted March 17, 2016 Posted March 17, 2016 Oh ya! I did click online and on text then met the person and my castle of cards came tumbling down, he was nothing like I had imagine. This one time the guy was close to 400-lbs when his pics showed him at a healthy weight. So no, I know clicking online means nothing. I second this but then again, there are times when it all matches up perfectly. There is no rhyme or reason to any of it which is why you just have to meet and take it from there.
Author abby_tx Posted March 17, 2016 Author Posted March 17, 2016 Oh ya! I did click online and on text then met the person and my castle of cards came tumbling down, he was nothing like I had imagine. This one time the guy was close to 400-lbs when his pics showed him at a healthy weight. So no, I know clicking online means nothing. Hahahaha. I'm sorry to hear. My worst was a guy whose hands shook and smelled like fish.
Miss Peach Posted March 17, 2016 Posted March 17, 2016 It's chemistry which is really hard to tell in any way other than IRL. My experience is if I enjoy a phone chat I can at least enjoy the date even if there is no sexual chemistry. But you really have to meet to know.
Author abby_tx Posted March 17, 2016 Author Posted March 17, 2016 I second this but then again, there are times when it all matches up perfectly. There is no rhyme or reason to any of it which is why you just have to meet and take it from there. Yep. Gotta take a chance. I wish I knew ahead of time. Sigh
Miss Peach Posted March 17, 2016 Posted March 17, 2016 Hahahaha. I'm sorry to hear. My worst was a guy whose hands shook and smelled like fish. My worst one brought his mother with him to the coffee shop.
Larryville Posted March 17, 2016 Posted March 17, 2016 This one time the guy was close to 400-lbs when his pics showed him at a healthy weight. So no, I know clicking online means nothing. This is exactly why the thread “online dating red flags” I think should be a permanent on top thread, required reading:D If you are well in tuned with someone’s profile you can indeed avoid this. If I could go back in time I would start a “OLD Profile screening service” I know I am hyper critical and sensitive about stuff maybe other are just not as white hot focused on red flags.
normal person Posted March 17, 2016 Posted March 17, 2016 I'm another one for limiting texts before meeting up. On one hand, you have to maintain some interest so make the the texts you do send really count. We have a tendency to idealize and manufacture thoughts about what we think the person will be like. How they'll talk, the sound of their voice, mannerisms, idiosyncrasies, etc. In my experience there's almost always a disparity between how you imagine them and how they are in person. Sometimes worse, sometimes better. But rarely as expected. Keep in mind that most people aren't that articulate online. "Clicking" online to you might subconsciously just mean "s/he didn't say anything totally disagreeable" but failing to acknowledge "s/he didn't say anything particularly exciting or interesting, either." People idealize and falsely fill in the blanks themselves. It's a problem with OLD, you can't really get a "sense" of the person's real life persona until you meet in person (or Skype), and that's time consuming.
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