SomeGuy25 Posted March 17, 2016 Posted March 17, 2016 I will try to make this 9 year long story as short as possible... This girl is crazy about me my whole senior year of high school but I never paid much attention to her due to other distractions. Then one day we are both at a mutual friend’s house and she is literally glowing to me. She was beautiful and graceful. We started talking and we were just extremely compatible. Our whole outlook on life and the universe was right on the same wave length. We could tell what each other was thinking. Sex was extremely rewarding for both of us, couldn't keep our hands off each other. Same sense of humor, music, weirdness and we never once had a fight, we were best friends… This goes on for a year then due to her mother being controlling and not liking me too much due to me not kissing her butt, only because I'm shy, she made us break up... No harsh feelings and we remained friends for 9 YEARS speaking every 6 months or so to check in on each other, even met a few times when we were both going through relationship trouble, NOT to talk about it, we were prospects but we were both never completely in a position to see each other intimately. 6 months ago me and my ex of 2 years split up and are done for good, she is already with someone else and to be honest I never had a close bond with her. So I am completely ready to move on to someone better for me... The girl I have been talking about has been breaking up with her boyfriend of 4 years the entire time they were together, he has hit her and emotionally abuses her still. She broke up with him and a week later we hang out and it was instantly fire. Everything came back, we are blown away that we are so in common, close, sexually attracted, and get along. After a few days I’m already staying with her in her apartment. Her lease was up in a couple weeks and we already had another apartment on the other side of town lined up... I’m convinced we are going to live together. Everything is going wonderful, we are in love again and we both feel we are soul mates if after everything over 9 years lead us back to something so beautiful. Her mom, the one that ran me off before, is even happy to see me back. Personally told me via a private message. She is even referring to me as her boyfriend and telling me she loves me! I'm excited and happy finally. After staying with her for almost 2 weeks, I go back to my parents on Sunday to wash all my dress clothes for work the coming week. I come back everything is still fire and perfect. I leave from her place on Monday to go to work and all the way up to 3pm she is sweat talking me and saying she loves me. Then all of a sudden she said we need to take things slow and that she don’t want to look at me the same way she does her ex... Which is blowing my mind but I just go with it and agree. I never hear from her again that day and I aim to come to her place, where I planned on staying, and she’s not there and doesn’t show up. I waited till 11pm then went home... I had no work clothes and had to wear the same ones. Next day comes and she finally text at 10pm and game me a 22 min window to get some clothes for work because she wasn’t staying there that night. Well I didn’t make it there in time and she’s gone. I have no clue where she’s at just that she won’t be home and she don’t care that I’m about to have to wear the same clothes to work 3 days. Wednesday she has me come get my stuff when I get off work and she tells me this isn’t a good time for her to be starting to see me due to school stress (masters) and just getting out of a relationship but she still wants to keep talking to me. I agree and get all my stuff and leave because she said she had to go meet people for school. I believe her without hesitation and she said she wanted to see me the next day. Well I did a little detective work after the first night she disappeared and found her ex's address. After getting my stuff I drove away and got to thinking some and decided to take a drive by her ex's house since it was basically on my way anyways... sure enough, her car is there. I’m devastated but I don’t do anything stupid and don't say anything about it. I go home and sleep on it. After I do that I completely understand why she went back to him. She’s stressed over school and getting kicked out of her apartment and starting a new relationship. She’s a timid person and I truly believe he used scare tactics on her reeled her in to stay with him for the time being, till school is over (last semester till she graduates). My thought was I love her too much and I really believe she has a deep connection with me, its stood the test of time, so why would I burn a bridge over her emotional condition she’s stuck in right now? So I decided to weather the storm and see if she still talks to me and sees me till her school stuff is over and she will probably leave the "safety net" he gives her. Well I have attempted to reach out to her a few times just with casual talk and I’m not getting anything back... it’s been a week exactly since I last seen/talk to her. What’s happened and what is going to happen? I feel that she’s the one, if I have ever known one (6x 1+ yearlong relationships under my belt). This is the only time I felt willing to bend, wait, and understand someone like I am. Am I fooling myself or is this wise? How should I approach her from now on?
angel.eyes Posted March 17, 2016 Posted March 17, 2016 (edited) Boing...booiinngg......BOING...Rebound! You started dating within a week of her most recent breakup in her 4-year long on-off relationship with her "ex"-boyfriend. Then, feeling like soul mates, moved in together within weeks. I'm not understanding how you can be so shocked that a couple of weeks later she wanted out and was back with her ex. Warp speed to dating = warp speed to breaking up. Along the way, I think you broke the sound barrier for speed to living together. This had bad idea written all over it. Edited March 17, 2016 by angel.eyes
Author SomeGuy25 Posted March 17, 2016 Author Posted March 17, 2016 You are probably right, absolutely lessons have been learned lol. But is being respectable and understanding of this situation wise or stupid? Is she going to come back around? Or should I call her out on it and possibly burn down what we had for the last 9 years.
angel.eyes Posted March 17, 2016 Posted March 17, 2016 What nine years??? Her having a crush on you in high school doesn't count! Neither does dating her briefly years ago. You've both been dating others for almost the entire nine years! Deal with your own recent breakup! Then you won't glom on to any barely unattached woman as your soul mate, who is so right for you. That's a big part of how you landed in this mess, wearing the same outfit to work for three days, and stalking your "soul mate" as she skeddadled back to her ex! Let it go.
Author SomeGuy25 Posted March 17, 2016 Author Posted March 17, 2016 I appreciate your honesty, I really do. But I didn't need to be insulted because ALL my clothes were locked inside a place because someone was doing me wrong when I was lead to believe I lived there lol. I had to go to work, and I did wash those clothes, and did or did not wear a tie to try to mix it up. And the comment about stalking, I just followed my instinct and made one turn down a different route to see for my own eyes and drove right on by and didn't stop and didn't even react to it. I'm sure there is a moment in your life where you have done something similar, I call it being intelligent. So for the sake of what I believe this site was created for, keep comments like that to yourself. I didn't seek insults, I wanted to know if she is going to come around again because we "work" or if I should be insulted by her leading me on... she asked me to stay and insisted that I stay, she clung to me harder then I was her probably, she contacted me first. So I will take your opinion actually take it serious because I respect honesty, but the other remarks are nonsense. I'm still open to other's opinions/imput btw.
angel.eyes Posted March 17, 2016 Posted March 17, 2016 I was being tongue in cheek to drive home a point. Checking up on her once is not stalking. I'm very sorry you feel offended. That was not my intention. You're both on the rebound and that's why things moved at warp speed. There is generally no real basis for a relationship under the conditions you describe. She's not your soul mate. She's not the right one for you, or any of the other ways in which you described her. You have rebound goggles on right now. One day you'll look back and wonder what you were even thinking! Do not wait around for her to change her mind. If she contacts you looking to rekindle things, please don't. It will be more of the same. Probably not what you want to hear, but she'll yank your chain and repeatedly disappoint you as long as you allow it.
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