preraph Posted March 17, 2016 Posted March 17, 2016 A person is jealous not because of you but because that's who they are. No matter who they're with or wanting, they are jealous. It's not that YOU made him jealous. He's insecure and jealous and controlling. It's nothing you can control. it's his problem. You have to set boundaries and not let it go too far and lose your friends over it.
rester Posted March 17, 2016 Posted March 17, 2016 Hi guys, the first thing I should say is that I really rarely drink alcohol. Perhaps 2-3 glasses of red wine once or twice a month. Now, last night I had a friend over and we watched a movie and had some wine. I got a little bit tipsy. After my friend left, my boyfriend called me (it was 2 am) and he wanted to talk. I did not feel like it, because I was tired and tipsy, but ended up having a conversation with him anyway. At some point he told me that he does not like me when I am drunk, that I become a completely different person who does not show interest in him. He feels unloved. I told him that I am under the influence, what does he expect, people are silly when they drink. He expected me to be all over him, I suppose. I thought that was ridiculous- so I ended the conversation. He told me then he felt we drift apart when ever I drink. It made me so upset, because obviously I cannot control my behavior 100% when under the influence, and he expects me to be all over him. It also felt as if he accused me of drinking too much, which is absolutely ridiculous too, as I said, I only drink a few glasses of wine once or twice a month, if at all, sometimes I go several months without drinking. But of course I will get tipsy quickly - I am not used to having alcohol. I don't know what he's expecting, it makes me angry and I don't know how to communicate with him in regard to this issue. What should I do? Stop having wine every now and then all together? Or let him throw his fit? Clearly, it is impossible for me to control my emotions and actions when I have had a few glasses to drink. The bolded above could be one of the reasons he is feeling disconnected. You are making excuses and don't appear to take responsibility for your actions when you drink. That's not a good sign, even if you're only drinking infrequently. If it's a rare occasion that you drink and/or get drunk, you could have a conversation with him about it and tell him it's best you don't communicate during the time you are drinking. Compromise, but also take responsibility for yourself and your drinking.
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