starry_sky Posted March 16, 2016 Posted March 16, 2016 (edited) 3 weeks after we broke up. He lied about it. I just found out recently because he was pushing and pushing to get back together and make it work. The reason the truth come out the girl was clingy and showed him a (fake) pregnancy test. I tried so hard to do the nc but I loved him so much and he felt the same way but i felt he was a womaniser and he did betray me he sent texts to another girl for external validation but didn't carry through with having sex. I've taken him back as hes showing me everything throwing women away and he's working very hard to show me the relationship is worth it.. However, I cannot get past the fact he slept with that woman. I get it. He's single. But he knew both of us were hurting. Why f*ck someone so quick!? He's shut her off completely, she's not preg she's very jealous. I've just kicked him out bc I can't deal with thinking about the same things he did with me he did to her. He said she was a sack of potatoes but I don't know what that means and it doesn't help. I just don't know if this is going to get better and worth fighting for he slept with someone in 2 weeks bc he felt rejected and he was hurt he doesn't want anything to do with her but I'm hurting over the sex. Will thus get better or move on ? Edited March 16, 2016 by starry_sky
BUSTAHblader Posted March 16, 2016 Posted March 16, 2016 Me and my girlfriend just broke up 1 week later i slept with someone elsw But only because of how hurt i was trying ro fill the void of my ex And the sex hurt more then the breakup It was so meaningless and empty Hope this helps
d0nnivain Posted March 16, 2016 Posted March 16, 2016 Taking him back was a mistake. You already knew he was a womanizer. He jumped straight into sex with somebody else & that woman tried to claim to be pregnant. That shows you his taste in woman is bad at best. You couldn't trust him before. You took him back having even less trust. The fact that you claim to love him is irrelevant. He is not a good catch. I give your reconciliation 6 weeks, tops. What is so lacking in you that you think taking him back is a good idea for you? What are you going to get out of this besides a womanizer you don't trust who may give you a disease & who may have fathered a kid? Where is the upside to dating him? Being in love with a man like this is not the upside, it's a problem. 1
Author starry_sky Posted March 16, 2016 Author Posted March 16, 2016 I'm not making excuses here because you have very valid points. I've taken him back after he crashed very quickly he couldn't cope he already started seeing a counciler and begged to get relationship councelling so we both can heal. He said he will do anything to prove he wants a life with me. You seem level headed so I want you to tell me what you think here. I'm in fog that's why I'm here
elaine567 Posted March 16, 2016 Posted March 16, 2016 3 weeks after we broke up. He lied about it. I just found out recently because he was pushing and pushing to get back together and make it work. The reason the truth come out the girl was clingy and showed him a (fake) pregnancy test. I tried so hard to do the nc but I loved him so much and he felt the same way but i felt he was a womaniser and he did betray me he sent texts to another girl for external validation but didn't carry through with having sex. I've taken him back as hes showing me everything throwing women away and he's working very hard to show me the relationship is worth it.. However, I cannot get past the fact he slept with that woman. I get it. He's single. But he knew both of us were hurting. Why f*ck someone so quick!? He's shut her off completely, she's not preg she's very jealous. I've just kicked him out bc I can't deal with thinking about the same things he did with me he did to her. He said she was a sack of potatoes but I don't know what that means and it doesn't help. I just don't know if this is going to get better and worth fighting for he slept with someone in 2 weeks bc he felt rejected and he was hurt he doesn't want anything to do with her but I'm hurting over the sex. Will thus get better or move on ? NO, it may take you years to get over it You split up because he cheated on you and then he moved swiftly onto another woman when you broke up, both events have dented your confidence in him. He also lied to your face about it. Whilst you were mourning your lost love, he was in bed with her... He was technically single, yes but you assumed he was mourning the death of your relationship too, only he wasn't. This is a big thing to get over and the triggers and images in your head can persist for a long time. Unless you have a long history, ie 10-20 years together and have kids, I would just let him go, too much heartache ahead if you stay, and the distrust over the cheating and the lies, will likely send you loopy.
d0nnivain Posted March 16, 2016 Posted March 16, 2016 I'm not making excuses here because you have very valid points. I've taken him back after he crashed very quickly he couldn't cope he already started seeing a counciler and begged to get relationship councelling so we both can heal. He said he will do anything to prove he wants a life with me. You seem level headed so I want you to tell me what you think here. I'm in fog that's why I'm here If you are determined to try, lay all your cards out to the therapist. I'd say something like I still love him but my heart is at war with my head. I know he's bad news. I didn't trust him before we broke up. He cheated on me. He's a womanizer & a liar. Now he's back & begging me to make this better but there's the woman he slept with and she doesn't appear to be going away. I feel bad because he's crashing but in my head I know this is a bad idea. How am I supposed to get past this? See what he & the councilor do with that kind of disclosure.
central Posted March 16, 2016 Posted March 16, 2016 Why did you break up in the first place, and who initiated it? Someone implied it's because he cheated on you, but I don't see that in your OP - he may have done so eventually. Yes, he slept with someone else when you were split up. He did nothing wrong there, but you are understandably upset. It sounds like he regrets it, and is doing the right things to continue your relationship. If you can't let this go, then it doesn't matter what he does, of course. What do you want at this point?
Methodical Posted March 16, 2016 Posted March 16, 2016 Your problem is that he was able to hop in the sack with someone immediately after breaking up.The bigger problem for me would be the lie. Essentially you were apart so he didn't cheat. But, lying about sleeping with someone while pushing to rekindle the relationship, not cool.
elaine567 Posted March 16, 2016 Posted March 16, 2016 he sent texts to another girl for external validation but didn't carry through with having sex. He emotionally cheated with another girl which prompted the original break up.
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