Alcoholicex Posted March 16, 2016 Posted March 16, 2016 We broke up last January. December 6th he told me he isn't in love with me anymore, he has someone new in his life and I needed to move on. We were together 8 years. When he said that I started NC. I never once broke it or made ANY attempt to contact him at all. I've been focusing on myself and healing and then 2 nights ago BAM. I get a text from a number I didn't recognize. "Any chance you are awake?" I responded "I'm awake, who's this?" And when I saw his name pop up on my screen I lost all sense of reality. The only thing I could hear was my heart pounding in my ears. This one text turned into a 4 hour phone conversation. During the conversation he was VERY intense.. It wasn't a "friendly" call. He was aggressively sexual (very out of character for him) he told he loved me and he will always love me.. He told me I "consume" his mind. He told me he recently had an issue with his computer and he went insane making sure they saved his hard drive because all of our pictures and videos were on it. He ended the call with "I'm so in love with you". I texted him the next day.. I said "was last night a dream" we exchanged a few texts and that was that.. The entire thing was weighing on my mind. It was all I could think about. I finally just called him and asked "why did you text me" he said bc he wanted to know how I was. He proceeded to tell me he's still with the girl. We can't ever be together. Etc... What is his deal? Why does he keep hurting me like this?
Emilia Posted March 16, 2016 Posted March 16, 2016 You have to block him. Get him out of your life. What sort of person plays mindgames like this? 2
lilacwine Posted March 16, 2016 Posted March 16, 2016 We broke up last January. December 6th he told me he isn't in love with me anymore, he has someone new in his life and I needed to move on. We were together 8 years. When he said that I started NC. I never once broke it or made ANY attempt to contact him at all. I've been focusing on myself and healing and then 2 nights ago BAM. I get a text from a number I didn't recognize. "Any chance you are awake?" I responded "I'm awake, who's this?" And when I saw his name pop up on my screen I lost all sense of reality. The only thing I could hear was my heart pounding in my ears. This one text turned into a 4 hour phone conversation. During the conversation he was VERY intense.. It wasn't a "friendly" call. He was aggressively sexual (very out of character for him) he told he loved me and he will always love me.. He told me I "consume" his mind. He told me he recently had an issue with his computer and he went insane making sure they saved his hard drive because all of our pictures and videos were on it. He ended the call with "I'm so in love with you". I texted him the next day.. I said "was last night a dream" we exchanged a few texts and that was that.. The entire thing was weighing on my mind. It was all I could think about. I finally just called him and asked "why did you text me" he said bc he wanted to know how I was. He proceeded to tell me he's still with the girl. We can't ever be together. Etc... What is his deal? Why does he keep hurting me like this? Ouch. I guess he just had a fight with his gf, felt low and needed an ego boost. So pathetic of him. The positive thing is that this childish jerk is not your bf anymore. Time to move on 1
Alamo657 Posted March 16, 2016 Posted March 16, 2016 He won't risk current safe relationship, for you who he broke up with once already. Also, that's a textbook example why you MUST ignore your ex. If they use the confort and security of social medias/phones to contact you without taking any personnal risks and granting you the respect of real world interactions, they must be ignored. Short of knocking at your door and saying "i love you and want to get back with you", there is no middle ground. 2
Author Alcoholicex Posted March 16, 2016 Author Posted March 16, 2016 He told me he would marry her tomorrow except she doesn't believe in marriage and she doesn't want a ring bc she doesn't like jewelry. Why would he say that to me? Why would I need to know that? Why would this person I've never done anything to hurt be so interested in hurting me so many times? Is he just a monster?
keiji Posted March 16, 2016 Posted March 16, 2016 He told me he would marry her tomorrow except she doesn't believe in marriage and she doesn't want a ring bc she doesn't like jewelry. Why would he say that to me? Why would I need to know that? Why would this person I've never done anything to hurt be so interested in hurting me so many times? Is he just a monster? Honestly, from a non-involved perspective, the whole episode sounds extremely weird. Perhaps not a monster, but that's an incredibly cruel thing to do. As everybody else said, your best bet is to completely cut contact. You don't want to hear certain things. My ex was pretty cruel the last time we spoke, giving me all sorts of unnecessary details about her current life that had absolutely no relevance to "us". That gave me the necessary push to start NC. Don't expose yourself to situations like that voluntarily. Nobody deserves that. 3
Emilia Posted March 16, 2016 Posted March 16, 2016 Honestly, from a non-involved perspective, the whole episode sounds extremely weird. Perhaps not a monster, but that's an incredibly cruel thing to do. As everybody else said, your best bet is to completely cut contact. You don't want to hear certain things. My ex was pretty cruel the last time we spoke, giving me all sorts of unnecessary details about her current life that had absolutely no relevance to "us". That gave me the necessary push to start NC. Don't expose yourself to situations like that voluntarily. Nobody deserves that. Couldn't agree more. 1
BC1980 Posted March 16, 2016 Posted March 16, 2016 He told me he would marry her tomorrow except she doesn't believe in marriage and she doesn't want a ring bc she doesn't like jewelry. Why would he say that to me? Why would I need to know that? Why would this person I've never done anything to hurt be so interested in hurting me so many times? Is he just a monster? I think he wants attention. Even though he has this new girl, it's still a hit to his ego that you aren't contacting him or begging for him back. He's contacting you to see if he can still get some kind of reaction. People can be cruel. Even a person who once loved you can be cruel.
whichwayisup Posted March 16, 2016 Posted March 16, 2016 He told me he would marry her tomorrow except she doesn't believe in marriage and she doesn't want a ring bc she doesn't like jewelry. Why would he say that to me? Why would I need to know that? Why would this person I've never done anything to hurt be so interested in hurting me so many times? Is he just a monster? He's cruel. Who does this after NC seeing as he is the one who ended it and told he wasn't in love with you. He's making you his back up plan in case things don't work out with this other girl. Tell him to F OFF and block him. In fact, change your number and block him on all social media. I'm sorry that you're hurting.
privategal Posted March 16, 2016 Posted March 16, 2016 Complete user. How dare he think you would want to cheat with him, how insulting that he broke your heart and told you to move on as he replaced you with someone else, then the second he gets you on the phone it isnt "Im so sorry and humbly apologize for losing you" no, it was about him and his sex drive. Id suggest he will replace this current girkfriend with a new one as well, this is his mo. Dont be the replacement sloppy second. He had you...he dropped you, he loves no one but himself. Block. The end.
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