NebraskaGuy Posted March 16, 2016 Posted March 16, 2016 Hey guys, I just found this site so hopefully I'm posting my question properly! This is a long story but I'm going to try and give the condensed version: I was friends with a girl in high school. She moved away and we didn't talk to each other for ~10 years. 2 years ago we rediscovered each other on FB and it turned out she had moved back to my town and was actually living not too far away. We became pretty close friends and hung out at each other's houses, etc. but never actually went out together on anything that could be considered a date. We ended up having a bad misunderstanding and had a falling out to the point that we didn't talk to each other at all for the last 2 years and we disconnected any online things that linked us, etc. It was a hard hit for me because I was trying to figure out how to get her interested in me at the time and we had become really good friends. So anyways, fast forward to now. We're both 32, both divorced, and she randomly sent me a message a few weeks ago. We started talking again and I asked her out to dinner ASAP because I didn't want to get stuck in the friend zone and also figured she must at least like me some since she contacted me first. So we went out to dinner last night and also ended up walking around a local fair for several hours afterwards and had a great time. I wasn't really feeling a lot of affection from her directly to the point where I would kiss her or anything on the date, plus I was hesitant to do anything like that since this was literally the first time I had seen her in 2 years and wasn't quite sure what to expect. So as you could probably guess we end up in the car and I'm driving her home. We get to her house and she leans over and gives me a hug in the car and thanks me for the evening, etc. So this is the part where I'm thinking I may have blown the whole thing by not kissing her at the end of the date. I wanted to but since we hadn't talked for so long and this was the first thing we did together I didn't want to come on too strong and lose her as a friend again right as I got her back. Ever since that night she has seemed more distant. Texting less. Not responding to me for hours. Even to the point where she's posted things on FB talking about how she is hopeless in finding love, etc. Did I totally blow my second chance here? I was hoping that I'd be able to get her on a second date and kiss her then but it seems like she may have written me off completely now after the first date even though it was 2+ years in the making. Any suggestions on how I can try to flip this around and get another date from her or should I just move on? Our town is pretty small and I'm almost assured if I sign up for any of the dating sites she'll probably be on there as one of my top picks. I'm reluctant to do that because I don't want her to see me on there and think I gave up on her if she's really still interested. Thanks for any advice! - Frustrated in Nebraska
d0nnivain Posted March 16, 2016 Posted March 16, 2016 You didn't blow anything. The kiss would have been premature under these circumstances. Ask her on another date & continue to read her body language. 3
road Posted March 16, 2016 Posted March 16, 2016 Ask her on another date. Then once on the date ask her for a kiss about half way through the date.
Redhead14 Posted March 16, 2016 Posted March 16, 2016 First of all, I doubt that the fact that you didn't kiss her is the reason she's distant. Secondly, if you like a woman enough after the first date, ask her for the second date at the end of the first date, even if you don't kiss. She may simply be disappointed that you didn't ask her then. Nevertheless, there is nothing to lose by calling her as soon as possible and asking for another date. If she says no, oh, well. If she says yes, great.
Author NebraskaGuy Posted March 16, 2016 Author Posted March 16, 2016 Thanks for the replies. Any suggestions on how to ask her on the next date? If this was somebody I had just met I would just ask away and forget about it if not but since I've known her so long and we're already friendly I'm not quite sure what the best approach should be. She still seems to be barely replying to my messages so I'm not sure what happened. I feel like the next date needs to be something more casual where we have more time with just each other to talk.
Simon Phoenix Posted March 16, 2016 Posted March 16, 2016 Thanks for the replies. Any suggestions on how to ask her on the next date? If this was somebody I had just met I would just ask away and forget about it if not but since I've known her so long and we're already friendly I'm not quite sure what the best approach should be. She still seems to be barely replying to my messages so I'm not sure what happened. I feel like the next date needs to be something more casual where we have more time with just each other to talk. Just ask. There's not a special formula. Either she's going to be into it or she's not. No need to reinvent the wheel here. 1
SoThatHappened Posted March 17, 2016 Posted March 17, 2016 Any suggestions on how to ask her on the next date? "Hey (her name), it's NebraskaGuy. We need to hang out again and been wanting to hit up this (whatever, festival, carnival, rodeo) for a while now. If you're free that night I can pick you up. Should be fun. NebraskaGuy." 1
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