selinaluv Posted March 16, 2016 Posted March 16, 2016 Hello everyone, I have been lurking for a while and finally prompted to write. A couple weeks ago I met a guy on OKCupid. He came on pretty aggressive and seemed to be into me. We had a good first date and ended up kissing at the end of the date. He had already asked and planned for date number 2 before we were done. Then bad luck. His grandfather passed and he developed strep throat. This was also all during a move to a different city. He was kind enough to tell me about the strep and I also tested positive for it. We opted to take a raincheck on the date until we were healthy and his grandfather’s services were done. This was about a week ago. Throughout the next week he texted me about wanting to meet up, how I was feeling and when I was free. He must have asked me three different times until we finally decided on tomorrow. Then his texting decreased a bit, but I let it go cause I knew he was busy. Since yesterday I texted him to confirm if we were still on. I am a single mother and need to arrange childcare. He is also a single father and should be sensitive to that. I texted him again this morning to confirm and nothing. I will leave it, but I am a little confused why someone who was so eager, practically begging to hang out again would drop it and disregard it so easily. And if he does reach out tomorrow last minute, what would you do? I am tempted to tell him to shove off, but don’t want to act so rash considering things have been hectic lately.
smudge21 Posted March 16, 2016 Posted March 16, 2016 You'll never work out the whys so it's best to let it go. You've made your position clear and left the ball in his court. If he does get in touch, then decide at that moment. There's no harm in still seeing him but be aware that this may not become the relationship you're looking for. The thing I notice with all these online data situations is people are realising that they are no longer limited by who they can see. So they meet one person and if there's the tiniest little flaw (something they'd usually overlook) then it's enough to go for plan b, or c, or d, or e... you get me? I think (my opinion here, not fact) that everything is very rushed now, like people know if they like someone they have to move quick because of that large pool full of available people. It's all a bit weird for me, I'm more a take my time sort of person, but everyone's different.
Author selinaluv Posted March 16, 2016 Author Posted March 16, 2016 (edited) Thank you, that is how I also feel. thing I notice with all these online data situations is people are realising that they are no longer limited by who they can see. So they meet one person and if there's the tiniest little flaw (something they'd usually overlook) then it's enough to go for plan b, or c, or d, or e... you get me? I think (my opinion here, not fact) that everything is very rushed now, like people know if they like someone they have to move quick because of that large pool full of available people. It's all a bit weird for me, I'm more a take my time sort of person, but everyone's different. I am beginning to really notice this and it is so frustrating. If you are keen enough to ask someone out again, why would you drop off if you think a "better" prospect has come along. You don't know if anyone is better after some emails or even one date. Why wouldn't you give people the time and opportunity and get to know them? I have seen him online on the dating sites and no big deal cause I am there also. I am talking to a few others, but not going to immediately cut bait on someone cause I think I may have found better. I see this happening more and more and it is frustrating. The guys do this and yet I still see them months later still active on the sites, so they clearly haven't found what they are looking for. Or maybe they had but lost sight of it because they thought the found someone "better". Edited March 16, 2016 by selinaluv
Zippy2000 Posted March 17, 2016 Posted March 17, 2016 I see this happening more and more and it is frustrating. The guys do this and yet I still see them months later still active on the sites, so they clearly haven't found what they are looking for. Or maybe they had but lost sight of it because they thought the found someone "better". Hey, dont be too hard on yourself and try not to analyse his actions. You see many moons ago. I was that man. I would disappear. Not because I found the girl repulsive but over time I figured she wasnt for me. Little did I know I slowly stopped thinking about her and moved on. There isnt necessary someone else better out there than we just dont feel it with the person we are trying to see. It could be a billion other factors like the girl isnt giving me any green light or any positive signs for me to pursue her. It could be her texts are taking too long or they are too fast. It could be a billion other things. I remember one girl I "faded" on and eventually "ghosted". If she didnt hear from me she`d text again. Then she`d phone, and then shed text to ask where I am. I found it all hard work and when I got round to replying I had the "So you are alive", message. I couldnt deal with it. I was a young man so instead of having the courage to speak up. I faded to a ghost! So it could be a billion other things. Depending what you do or if you are stil interested. I d give it a couple of days and maybe fire off one final text. If there is no answer the best thing is to chalk it up and move on. Like I say its could be a billion other things for why he has faded. We will never know so its better to go for another man. There are billions of other men to choose from and why let a someone elses billions problems prevent you from meeting the right man.
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