kendahke Posted March 31, 2016 Posted March 31, 2016 There are only two things that make me doubt my intuition: 1) that maybe I have trust issues because of my ex's affair 2) I like her so much that I'm willing to overlook or ignore warning signs. Never overlook or ignore warning signs. They save you from having to give up a pound of flesh to get out of the danger. A person who has been keeping you at bay until your friend of 20 years came into the picture, then suddenly flips and turns into someone who can't get enough of you is sketchy a.f. She wasn't pressed before--now she is? Shady, s0n. Her reaction for being called out on her behavior is telling and as I said above: the guilty make the most noise when they're discovered. What was your intuition telling you leading up to the moment you discovered your ex's affair? Did you ignore it then, or did it tell you what you needed to look out for and you did, which led to the discovery of the affair? My advice would be to cool it for a little while with this woman. Take as your motto video ex taceo--I see, but say nothing. Watch how things fall out in experience with her. Right now, you don't know if she's suddenly into you because she realized what a great guy you are, or if it's because your friend popped up or if it's because she got wind of your financial position and you are well within your rights to protect yourself from someone who isn't with you because of you, but because of what you can do for them.
kendahke Posted March 31, 2016 Posted March 31, 2016 As for the pre-nup, I don't know that I could say that to her. Not that I disagree with the intention. It's just out of character for me. Actually id prefer to make it clear that I have little interest in getting married again but would very much enjoy companionship. That's fair and there's nothing wrong with that.
Author TeddyPSmith Posted March 31, 2016 Author Posted March 31, 2016 Take as your motto video ex taceo--I see, but say nothing. Watch how things fall out in experience with her. Ive never heard this but I frickin love it. If only I could remove my emotions and do this. Maybe it takes a little practice.
elaine567 Posted March 31, 2016 Posted March 31, 2016 and that is precisely the response that's needed, which is why I said it. If you were also engaging in sketchy behavior at the same time, then you need to be smoked out. The big word here is IF. But, he will also "smoke out" good honest women who will not take kindly to the suggestion he thinks they are gold diggers and will then tell him where to go.
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