NC Day 100 - come to my party!

[jenkins95]

Hi all

 

Well, as the MM in an affair that last over a year, I have made it to the landmark target of 100 days NC! My wife and I have made significant progress in reconciliation, although of course there is a very long way to go until we can consider ourselves recovered. Please consider this thread as my official party, and please excuse the lack of food and alcohol!

 

I would love you to contribute to this thread with your own NC stories if you have time. Some questions to consider: -

 

How long have you been in NC?

 

How many times did you break NC in the early days and how much did this set you back. When did you finally get into "genuine" NC?

 

When did you start to feel noticeably better?

 

Do you have any tips for others considering the daunting prospect for going into NC?

 

Any interesting NC anecdotes and stories!

 

Any lessons learned!

 

I'll have a go at answering these myself later on.

 

Thanks for being here for me all - LS has made and continues to make a big difference to me! Wherever you are in your NC journey, I wish you nothing but the best of luck.

 

Jenkies

Edited March 15, 2016 by jenkins95

[MightyPen]

I don't have much to add other than to say congratulations on making progress with your wife and staying strong with NC. I know it's not easy making the "right" decision even when your brain knows exactly what the right decision is. I give you props.

 

I've lost track of my NC days, which for me is a good thing. I don't want to dwell on it anymore. I felt like counting the days just kept reminding me of the relationship. Do you plan to stop counting at some point? Just curious.

 

And always feel free to PM me to discuss anything like this. You've been supportive of me and I'd like to return the favor.

[jenkins95]

MP! The first guest arrives!

 

Great to hear from you. Yes, your thread was excellent and it was very impressive to witness your resolve and determination. Great that you are moving on and don't feel the need to count the days. That's actually a very good point you raise actually. I think I will count up to a year, noting little landmarks as I go.

 

After a year, I will stop counting the actual number, but I guess that certain dates will still trigger me, but hopefully with less and less hurt with each passing year.

 

Many thanks for the offer of PM support. I know that we have been in a similar place mentally, so I may well take you up on that. The same offer applies to you too, of course!

 

All the very best MP, and keep posting!

 

I don't have much to add other than to say congratulations on making progress with your wife and staying strong with NC. I know it's not easy making the "right" decision even when your brain knows exactly what the right decision is. I give you props.

 

I've lost track of my NC days, which for me is a good thing. I don't want to dwell on it anymore. I felt like counting the days just kept reminding me of the relationship. Do you plan to stop counting at some point? Just curious.

 

And always feel free to PM me to discuss anything like this. You've been supportive of me and I'd like to return the favor.

[waterwoman]

Well done Jenkins! I'm not a WS these days but was one (minor EA that my OM suddenly got serious about so I ended it) 20 years ago and it took me a long long time to completely get over him - I think because I didn't tell H and kept it as my little secret. Hence why I always encourage WS to tell their spouses.

 

Keep up the good work!

[ladydesigner]

Yay jenkins95 this is an awesome update! Congrats and good work!

 

Edited to add: I have been in NC with xOM for 6 years now! Just keep it up and don't ever look back. Onwards and upwards for you always!

[lemondrop21]

Yay Jenkins!!!!!! 100 days, WOW! You are so strong. Wishing you all the best in your continued efforts. :laugh:

[jenkins95]

Thanks so much for the great support guys, it really means a lot.

 

Ladydesigner, wow 6 years! Well done, and I will well and truly follow your advice. Can I ask after what point did you fully feel that it was behind you and that you had recovered? I know it's difficult to answer questions like that, but any thoughts/anecdotes, etc much welcomed!

 

And 20 years ago for waterwoman! Well done! Even though you always advise members to disclose, if you were to go right back to that point 20 years ago, would you repeat the same course of action and keep a secret, or would you disclose?

 

Lemondrop - great! a party is not a party without you

Edited March 15, 2016 by jenkins95

[ladydesigner]

Thanks so much for the great support guys, it really means a lot.

 

Ladydesigner, wow 6 years! Well done, and I will well and truly follow your advice. Can I ask after what point did you fully feel that it was behind you and that you had recovered? I know it's difficult to answer questions like that, but any thoughts/anecdotes, etc much welcomed!

 

And 20 years ago for waterwoman! Well done! Even though you always advise members to disclose, if you were to go right back to that point 20 years ago, would you repeat the same course of action and keep a secret, or would you disclose?

 

Lemondrop - great! a party is not a party without you

 

About a year after I initiated the NC. My thoughts of him became less and less over time. I started to realize that I was idealizing the A when I should have just been getting over it. The thing that really helped me was to only dedicate a certain amount of time to thoughts of him and then when they would pop up I would use whatever I had in my arsenal to shoot those thoughts right back out from where they came from. Eventually I didn't think of him or the A at all. Now it is a distant blip on my radar. I don't even look back on it like I do my previous relationships. Staying NC is the key including social media stalking.

[burnt]

BIG congratulations Jenkins.

 

Not just on being determined to keep NC and so successfully maintaining it, but also for sharing this process to provide positive support for everyone.

 

I'm a true hermit--hate parties, but this virtual party, I'm happy to attend and celebrate.

 

Just reflecting on my own experience, (and if I may say so that MANY other OWs would agree with me on this)

that breaking NC does so much damage to everyone trying to heal.

 

I have cringed in pain reading the posts of one particular poster in this site who broke NC with xOW--it felt like I was watching the whole horror show starting up all over again. I pleaded him to not make contact again--only helplessly watching the inevitable in the end.

 

I truly am happy for you that you didn't break NC. If you did, it wouldn't just be a question of damaging your own healing process, but creating immeasurable pain for you xOW.

 

And while you are counting days of NC to get through, the fact that you are actually reaching out to other people to help others in pain is so truly commendable.

 

Each and every single time my xMM broke NC, what it did to me I cannot describe in words. The ultimate result of breaking NC again and again and again is that -- now well after a year and a half later, at the slightest sound I hear in my own house, I wonder--"is that him coming to visit me?" That horror show never stopped really even after so long.

 

So, all I can say to you is

Jenkins Truly Good for you for keeping NC.

 

Clearly most of my posts are biased--I always think about the OW, since that's what I am.

The damage that has been done cannot be undone; but going forward, you are setting a good example of how to sincerely follow through with the best course of action, while still being compassionate and considerate to others.

 

So,

Thank you,

Great Job, and

Best of luck.

[Dancewithme]

Congrats, Jenkins! This is inspiring to all of those who struggle with NC. I am neither WS or BS, but have held the hand and helped dry the tears of many a friend, and relative who have been a WS or BS.

 

I feel that you being here is such an asset to these boards, with your very honest and in-depth perspective of the WH. That's a perspective not often seen here.

 

Keep it up, and continue posting.

 

"The purpose of human life is to serve, and to show compassion, and to help others"-- Albert Schweitzer

[waterwoman]

 

And 20 years ago for waterwoman! Well done! Even though you always advise members to disclose, if you were to go right back to that point 20 years ago, would you repeat the same course of action and keep a secret, or would you disclose?

 

Knowing what I now know I would disclose. Assuming I wanted a healthy marriage. I told H finally after his Dday and he wasnt bothered as it was an EA only and i was the one who ended it and left my job, but i firmly beleive the effect it had on me and my relationship with him was serious if insidious and I can't help thinking it contributed to the marital disconnect that allowed him to have his affair. Lies and secrets are so damaging in an intimate relationship

[jenkins95]

Burnt

 

Thank you so much for this. You have truly moved me. Your words are beautiful, thought provoking and poignant at the same time.

 

I am sorry that I triggered you yesterday. It upsets me to know that and I know that you know that there was absolutely no intention to do that. It was strange yesterday, I used Force's thread to attack the old unfaithful me through attacking her MM. I got carried away and starting running off post after post without really thinking that it could be damaging to those of us feeling vulnerable - I apologise.

 

I want to write more in response to what you said, but I can barely keep my eyes open as it is midnight for me now. I will return tomorrow. Know that I will go to sleep feeling comforted tonight, comforted by the wise, kind, thoughtful and supportive words that you and others have afforded me on this thread! Like many people who use these forums, I've almost forgotten what peace of mind feels like, but I'm pretty close to it tonight - it feels great. Thank you.

 

Good night burnt!

 

BIG congratulations Jenkins.

 

Not just on being determined to keep NC and so successfully maintaining it, but also for sharing this process to provide positive support for everyone.

 

I'm a true hermit--hate parties, but this virtual party, I'm happy to attend and celebrate.

 

Just reflecting on my own experience, (and if I may say so that MANY other OWs would agree with me on this)

that breaking NC does so much damage to everyone trying to heal.

 

I have cringed in pain reading the posts of one particular poster in this site who broke NC with xOW--it felt like I was watching the whole horror show starting up all over again. I pleaded him to not make contact again--only helplessly watching the inevitable in the end.

 

I truly am happy for you that you didn't break NC. If you did, it wouldn't just be a question of damaging your own healing process, but creating immeasurable pain for you xOW.

 

And while you are counting days of NC to get through, the fact that you are actually reaching out to other people to help others in pain is so truly commendable.

 

Each and every single time my xMM broke NC, what it did to me I cannot describe in words. The ultimate result of breaking NC again and again and again is that -- now well after a year and a half later, at the slightest sound I hear in my own house, I wonder--"is that him coming to visit me?" That horror show never stopped really even after so long.

 

So, all I can say to you is

Jenkins Truly Good for you for keeping NC.

 

Clearly most of my posts are biased--I always think about the OW, since that's what I am.

The damage that has been done cannot be undone; but going forward, you are setting a good example of how to sincerely follow through with the best course of action, while still being compassionate and considerate to others.

 

So,

Thank you,

Great Job, and

Best of luck.

[jenkins95]

Thank you so much dance! That means a lot to me.

 

I know that my presence here and my style rubs some members up the wrong way, and i understand this. But I have to do it my way and by being allowed to be open and honest in my posts and provide a perspective that is relatively under represented here, LS members have helped me immeasurably and I'm sure will continue to do so. For every negative comment, I get at least as many positive comments so that gives me the confidence to continue!

 

Thank you!

 

 

Congrats, Jenkins! This is inspiring to all of those who struggle with NC. I am neither WS or BS, but have held the hand and helped dry the tears of many a friend, and relative who have been a WS or BS.

 

I feel that you being here is such an asset to these boards, with your very honest and in-depth perspective of the WH. That's a perspective not often seen here.

 

Keep it up, and continue posting.

 

"The purpose of human life is to serve, and to show compassion, and to help others"-- Albert Schweitzer

[jenkins95]

Lies and secrets are so damaging in an intimate relationship

 

Very very wise words waterwoman. Since ending my affair, I have been so much more open with my wife, not just about the affair but about other things that I had previously kept quiet about and buried in the back of my mind where they festered and caused quiet resentment.

 

The difference in our closeness and connectedness is unbelievable. Issues that I once considered insurmountable obstacles are reduced to minor bumps in the road through normal respectful loving conversation. I think this is the biggest lesson of all that I am learning through all of this - just keep talking, honestly and openly! That is surely one of the keys to a successful relationship and it took me until my 40s, and the horror of an affair to realise it!

 

Thank you for all your support waterwoman, on this and several other threads. You always give honest, heartfelt comments and advice, which is very much appreciated.

Edited March 16, 2016 by jenkins95

[Grey Cloud]

Come on Jenkins it's only midnight where you are and you are bailing on your own party! You should be pulling an all nighter hahaha

 

In all seriousness, congratulations! I can see you are truly starting to reach peace of mind and it keeps me going when I am only on day 15 of "genuine" NC. As you know my xAP and I both broke NC and even though it set me back I think in a way it made me stronger and more determined to keep NC this time because it didn't achieve anything. It made me angry again and it made me upset. You can't go back to the way things were so sometimes you just need to stop clinging on and let go into that scary abyss. Only it's not that scary because we have other people in LS who have been through the same thing and have come out on the other side.

 

I for one would like to thank you for your posts and for always being here for others. I know that others haven't seen it like that and questioned your intentions but you and others have helped me enormously.

[Grey Cloud]

About a year after I initiated the NC. My thoughts of him became less and less over time. I started to realize that I was idealizing the A when I should have just been getting over it. The thing that really helped me was to only dedicate a certain amount of time to thoughts of him and then when they would pop up I would use whatever I had in my arsenal to shoot those thoughts right back out from where they came from. Eventually I didn't think of him or the A at all. Now it is a distant blip on my radar. I don't even look back on it like I do my previous relationships. Staying NC is the key including social media stalking.

 

This is great to read. I can't wait until I feel like you! I am sure once I reach a year as well it will all just seem like a distant memory. I agree about the social media stalking thing. Every single time it would set me back. It's a form of torture! Even though I am struggling I am happier 'not knowing'.

[MidnightBlue1980]

Hi all

 

Well, as the MM in an affair that last over a year, I have made it to the landmark target of 100 days NC! My wife and I have made significant progress in reconciliation, although of course there is a very long way to go until we can consider ourselves recovered. Please consider this thread as my official party, and please excuse the lack of food and alcohol!

 

I would love you to contribute to this thread with your own NC stories if you have time. Some questions to consider: -

 

How long have you been in NC?

 

How many times did you break NC in the early days and how much did this set you back. When did you finally get into "genuine" NC?

 

When did you start to feel noticeably better?

 

Do you have any tips for others considering the daunting prospect for going into NC?

 

Any interesting NC anecdotes and stories!

 

Any lessons learned!

 

I'll have a go at answering these myself later on.

 

Thanks for being here for me all - LS has made and continues to make a big difference to me! Wherever you are in your NC journey, I wish you nothing but the best of luck.

 

Jenkies

 

Hi Jenkins,

 

Congrats! I actually took a calculator - I'm 84 days since my A ended and he turned around and told his W (my H already knew). My situation is different than yours as I see him weekly. I can say I was not good with NC and basically did text or email him and he would respond, we said we still had feelings, loved each other, etc. But....time passes.

 

I wanted to literally die the first 30 days. The pain was the worst I ever felt. He barely spoke to me. We would sometimes be nasty, sometimes ignore each other, sometimes I would beg. In all scenarios he held firm. He was cold and reminded me he never said he would leave her, he just wanted an affair. He never once contacted me first, it was always me, though he would respond and he did say I love you and stuff like that.

 

I cried for 2 months every night. Buckets.

 

But then. Nothing changed with him and I but I just felt better. The soul has a remarkable ability to survive. I have not cried in maybe 2 weeks now. I laugh again - I even give him a smile. We had contact today and I asked, what are you doing (as in, are you staying married) and he said he was working it out with her but I was so special, he admired me so much, blah blah blah, he wanted to be friends.

 

I did not text back. And I won't. Here's why - everything this guy says is either a lie or a game, maybe he is working it out with her, maybe not. But if he is, I can't get in the middle of that. So I do struggle still and still feel badly but at least I am not crying.

 

My friend said that he does not want me talking to him at all, I must stop this communication entirely. He worries that I will have a low point at home and something will happen and he fears this time I may go so far into the darkness I may really do something. He was very worried in December about me. So I said I would heed his words.

 

I will protect myself.

 

Lessons learned? Just keep NC from day one. But tomorrow is a new day.

 

Sorry Jenkins, not a happy post. But we have cake here. I can have some for you. :-)

[burnt]

I am sorry that I triggered you yesterday. It upsets me to know that and I know that you know that there was absolutely no intention to do that. It was strange yesterday, I used Force's thread to attack the old unfaithful me through attacking her MM. I got carried away and starting running off post after post without really thinking that it could be damaging to those of us feeling vulnerable - I apologise.

 

Jenkins, what you wrote didn't offend me. It offered a different perspective and as a result of that it brought about a whole new line of new painful emotions. But I didn't think your words were thoughtless or inconsiderate.

 

I think I miscommunicated; I didn't mean to say your words damaged me--what I meant was reading what you wrote triggered something inside me--I realized something.

I am glad you wrote what you wrote--there's no need for you to apologize.

 

Maybe in a while I'll post what's starting to sink inside me now--another day.

[gettingstronger]

Congrats on NC, I am hoping as you move forward that your posts are more about your wife and marriage rather than reliving your affair- I think that would be an important step in your healing and I wish you the best of luck-

[jenkins95]

Come on Jenkins it's only midnight where you are and you are bailing on your own party! You should be pulling an all nighter hahaha

 

Oh yes, you're right GC - what a lightweight! But....I'm saving myself for your party in 85 84 days time! I'll be the last man standing in that party - the barman will have to kick me out

 

In all seriousness, congratulations! I can see you are truly starting to reach peace of mind and it keeps me going when I am only on day 15 of "genuine" NC. As you know my xAP and I both broke NC and even though it set me back I think in a way it made me stronger and more determined to keep NC this time because it didn't achieve anything. It made me angry again and it made me upset. You can't go back to the way things were so sometimes you just need to stop clinging on and let go into that scary abyss. Only it's not that scary because we have other people in LS who have been through the same thing and have come out on the other side.

 

Thanks GC! You're great! One thing I've learnt is that NC is VERY difficult to enter into and stick to. It's rare to find a poster who enters into NC and stays there forever without a single blip. If any reader has achieved that, then I take my hat off and salute you. It's extremely common to see slip ups in the early days and, as you and burnt have described so eloquently on this thread, breaks in NC are almost always very damaging and set us back. It's awful to think that the slightest noise that burnt hears in her house makes her wonder if it is him coming to visit. My OW and I were actually in limbo for months contemplating, starting, breaking, restarting, NC, etc - that limbo period was probably the most mentally draining, soul destroying time I have ever experienced.

 

Well done at getting to day 15 GC! You have passed your previous mark and so now every day is a personal record for you.

 

Yes, I had a serious low point on days 92-93. On day 94 I woke up feeling like a different person and I have been like that ever since - a week now. By far the longest sustained positive period that I have had. I am still very damaged and vulnerable and thoughts of the A are still always there somewhere, but they are slowly becoming less painful and destructive. And I do find that I have the odd minute here and there of peace in my mind - like last night just before going to sleep! This is so much more than I could have expected on day 1, when I basically felt like I wanted to die.

 

 

I for one would like to thank you for your posts and for always being here for others. I know that others haven't seen it like that and questioned your intentions but you and others have helped me enormously.

 

Thank you too GC. One positive that has come from all this is the great people I have met, albeit virtually! There are some amazing people on here and it strikes me that many people who end up in affairs often turn out to be very sensitive, lovely, intelligent people! Your posts have helped me a lot and you've helped me down from the ledge a couple of times! You have a great ability of always putting a smile on my face - please keep doing it!

 

Already thinking of my "party dress" for your 100 day bash

[jenkins95]

Congrats on NC, I am hoping as you move forward that your posts are more about your wife and marriage rather than reliving your affair- I think that would be an important step in your healing and I wish you the best of luck-

 

Thanks gettingstronger. I really appreciate your support. I definitely feel that the need to re-live the affair in my posts is virtually gone now. Thanks for allowing me to do that - I think it has speeded up that stage of my recovery.

 

I look forward to lots of posts about my wife and marriage, and I also hope to support other users - whatever their role in their affair - OW, MM, BS, etc. All of these people hurt and if they have taken the trouble to find LS, sign up and post, then they deserve support.

 

All the very best to you too gettingstronger.

[jenkins95]

Thanks so much midnight! Great to hear from you! Inspirational post!

 

84 days - great! You are just a step behind me!

 

I wanted to literally die the first 30 days. The pain was the worst I ever felt......I cried for 2 months every night. Buckets......But then. Nothing changed with him and I but I just felt better. The soul has a remarkable ability to survive. I have not cried in maybe 2 weeks now. I laugh again - I even give him a smile.

 

Midnight, you win my Jenks "star of the day award"! That's brilliant news......and you must be saving a fortune on hankies/tissues!

 

And for anyone in the early days of NC or just contemplating it, I totally concur with Midnight's timeline. The first two months are just plain rotten, but something changed for me soon after that and I got to a stage at nearly three months where I knew that I was not going to break NC. This ties in with what imsosad and others have posted too. I know it has been a lot longer for burnt, and that shows just how much damage xMM did in continually breaking NC over and over again. We're here for you burnt - you've been dealt an even worse blow than many others here, but you will get there.

 

We had contact today and I asked, what are you doing (as in, are you staying married) and he said he was working it out with her but I was so special, he admired me so much, blah blah blah, he wanted to be friends.

 

I did not text back. And I won't. Here's why - everything this guy says is either a lie or a game, maybe he is working it out with her, maybe not. But if he is, I can't get in the middle of that. So I do struggle still and still feel badly but at least I am not crying.

 

My friend said that he does not want me talking to him at all, I must stop this communication entirely. He worries that I will have a low point at home and something will happen and he fears this time I may go so far into the darkness I may really do something. He was very worried in December about me. So I said I would heed his words.

 

I will protect myself.

 

Very wise words! Wow, you've really got your head together Midnight - this is inspirational! You are already seeing that you are much better off without him and that it is his place to sort out his own mess - because you have your life to live, and what a great life I'm sure it will be!

 

Lessons learned? Just keep NC from day one. But tomorrow is a new day.

 

Yes. NC is the only way to get past an affair really. It's daunting and tough, but it's a virtually guaranteed path to liberation. Let's stay on that path together.

 

Sorry Jenkins, not a happy post. But we have cake here. I can have some for you. :-)

 

Thanks Midnight. Yes you eat it - my days of cake-eating are over

 

I'll have a glass of wine instead !!

 

And Midnight, to me, this IS a happy post! How far you've come in three months!

Edited March 16, 2016 by jenkins95

[wmacbride]

thing do get better in time, no matter who you are. All that's required is a wiliness to allow that to happen. One day you realize that what was "what is happening" has become "what happened", and that is a fantastic feeling.

[jenkins95]

BIG congratulations Jenkins.

Just reflecting on my own experience, (and if I may say so that MANY other OWs would agree with me on this)

that breaking NC does so much damage to everyone trying to heal.

 

I have cringed in pain reading the posts of one particular poster in this site who broke NC with xOW--it felt like I was watching the whole horror show starting up all over again. I pleaded him to not make contact again--only helplessly watching the inevitable in the end.

 

I truly am happy for you that you didn't break NC. If you did, it wouldn't just be a question of damaging your own healing process, but creating immeasurable pain for you xOW.

 

burnt, I just wanted to come back to this again after last night. What you have written above is very important for all people ending an affair to know. Once it is over, it really has to be over. After so much hurt already, to continually break NC after the end is like sticking the dagger in time and time again.

 

The end of affairs are heart-breaking events for everyone, but when a decision has been made, that decision has to be final. In the case of my affair, it was me who had to make a decision - my W wanted to reconcile, but my OW wanted us to be together, so something had to give. Being in the position to have to make that decision is one of the most horrible things I've ever had to face, and of course I've only got myself to blame for being in that position - I should never have allowed it to happen in the first place.

 

But I knew that when that decision was made, it had to be stuck to because indecision can be so damaging. Your story has shown me this burnt and I also remember being very affected by a thread when I started posting here in July 2015. The OP had been almost destroyed by her AP's indecision. I've forgotten her user name now, but from what I remember, she had been the OW in an affair. The MM had left his wife to move in with her, but then 3 months later, he moved back in with his wife again. Over the course of 11 months, he had moved in and out 4 times and there was still no end in sight or stability in any of their lives.

 

The poster was absolutely destroyed, as was everyone else in the story. She was so weak that she no longer had the power to influence anything or make a stand against MM - she just accepted his comings and goings each as another nail in her coffin. She said that if he had just ended the affair and gone into NC, she possibly would have been able to recover, but his endless indecision, false hopes, promises, changing of mind, etc had just ruined everything, she no longer recognised herself and she just felt like she wanted to die.

 

When my A ended, I was therefore determined to commit 100% to NC. We took a long time to actually get into NC, because I really wanted for both of us to have the chance to say everything we needed, ask the questions, get the answers and show each other that despite the devastation, we did respect each other and wanted each other to be happy - then when I entered NC, I was there for the long haul. I've been criticised on here by some BS for my apparent weakness in dragging the end out. I totally accept this criticism and understand it from their point of view. I wanted to handle the end of my affair my way - we were both human beings and if taking a few weeks to say everything we needed to say meant that we would both be in a better position to start healing, and less likely to feel the need to break NC, then it was well worth it for me, and it was very important for me not to treat her like a piece of rubbish to be discarded.

 

She did break NC twice after that, but while trying not to be cruel, I made it absolutely clear that I was committed to NC, and I haven't heard from her for months now. My OW was very hurt in our A, in fact everyone involved was hurt, including me. But I really hope that ending things decisively has at least helped her to begin the road to recovery.

 

Your posts give me confidence that I handled the end of my affair as well as I could for me and OW in awful circumstances. Please keep posting burnt!

Edited March 16, 2016 by jenkins95

[Mrs. John Adams]

I am happy you are happy.

 

May I please ask how your precious wife is doing?

100 days of no contact is wonderful.. But in the scheme of things I do wonder how she feels about your celebration...

 

100 days my husband was still in deep depression... Still taking medications... Still suffering... Still in a state of shock.

 

100 days... I am over 12,000 days of no contact...and we still carry the scars.

 

I just want to put things in perspective...

 

It doesn't just disappear it goes on forever

 

May you have many more 100 days...