Is She Being Selfish?

[CalmandCarryOn]

After talking again my ex just told me that she was at a different place mentally when we were dating. She also said that she hurting too and I wasn't alone with pain during that time, but she just tried to hide it. Is she being selfish?

 

 

My ex broke up with me 2.5 years ago out of the blue (to my perspective) during Christmas break as she was preparing to leave to study abroad. She said "it's not you, it's me" and she just saw us as friends. I saw her once before she left for overseas, and she acted like I was invisible.

 

Fast forward to last Spring - we hadn't spoken for over a year. After going through the pain and healing, I then saw the good that came out of her breaking up with me - including a pursuit to use my hurt to start a grassroots non-profit helping girls rescued from the sex-trade. It had been several months since the break-up, and I felt like I was alive again. I felt the need to reach out to her and tell her that I forgave her. We reconciled on good-terms in friendship.

 

From then on, not much talking between each other besides a few messages of "hey" here and there and seeing how she's doing.

 

This past week, I reached out to her on Messenger to see if I could see her again this summer. She's currently studying overseas this semester and returns in June. Ever since, she's been asking me so many questions - from how I'm doing in life, what I'm doing, what my typical day looks like, interest in my projects, jobs, pursuits and more. I answer her questions thinking that the conversation will die casually, but they've been getting longer and longer with her sharing things from her life and me as well as we talk back and forth. Since she's overseas in an impoverished country - her internet is sketchy sometimes, so she has a few times sent me specific messages sharing that she will get back to my message ad reply in X time. And she delivers each time on her promise. The biggest thing is she's asking very specific questions on interests in my life at the moment - as if she wants to continue to conversation.

 

I guess I'm just lost in understanding if she's just curious, wants a second chance, or feels guilty and wants to try to mend things (although I felt we're past that from my "forgiveness" conversation. Then she revealed what I wrote above. Not sure if I should kill the conversation and move on or continue. Thoughts? Did what she say show signs of being selfish?

[basil67]

After talking again my ex just told me that she was at a different place mentally when we were dating. She also said that she hurting too and I wasn't alone with pain during that time, but she just tried to hide it. Is she being selfish?

 

I don't understand what she meant - so I can't comment on selfishness.

 

As for the current situation, work out what you want and then ask her if she's on the same page. There's no use guessing - only talking about it will give you the answer.