She wants to date exclusive but doesn't want to call me a boyfriend or us a couple???

[PegNosePete]

she doesn't want the same thing happen with her ex of 7 years burned her by cheating and is afraid i will walk out on her at anytime.

Then the logical course of action to avoid that would be to lock you down as bf/gf as soon as possible. But she is doing the opposite. Holding back as much commitment as possible.

 

I agree with Gaeta, she is full of excuses. And I maintain the original opinion, that the reason for this is plausible deniability, in case a better prospect asks if she has a bf she can say "no" honestly and guilt-free.

[elaine567]

I think she is full of excuses.

 

Being gf and bf is not an engagement. It's only dating for goodness sake. It's like she thinks if you are bf/gf you're gonna move in tomorrow morning. Plenty of people make it gf/bf after 3-4 dates and just take it slow and get to know each other with no pressure.

 

And she is emotionally invested but doesn't want to call you her bf! how does that work!

 

I don't get it either, what's the big deal with bf/gf?

There are no legal implications, no ties that bind. It is perfectly possible to still tell the bf/gf "Look this isn't working out" at any time.

If you have gone to all the trouble of "exclusivity", why does a door still need left open?

Or is exclusivity just a sham in reality?

[Myzster]

In my situation, she pulled the committed but didn't want a label yet. We were doing all the couple things and she was saying I love you (first), etc. However, she did very suspect things. Long story short she was a liar, cheater, manipulator, and I found out towards the end that she has BPD. She essentially told me after breaking things off that she didn't love me and that she was only with me at the suggestion of her friends and family because of my soon to be profession. I treated her well but I gathered that she was used to drama and craved the abusive relationships of her past...sounds like great girl right?!?!? Lol

 

That sucks she did you a big favor by ending it, glad you got out with your insanity

[Myzster]

Then the logical course of action to avoid that would be to lock you down as bf/gf as soon as possible. But she is doing the opposite. Holding back as much commitment as possible.

 

I agree with Gaeta, she is full of excuses. And I maintain the original opinion, that the reason for this is plausible deniability, in case a better prospect asks if she has a bf she can say "no" honestly and guilt-free.

 

These are the possibilities that i think.

 

1).She has commitment issues which someone pointed out

2).She not putting label on what we have because she is trying to put less pressure on her and our relationship

3). keeping her options open and keep me all to herself from me seeing other women(she know i have options)

4). She just want to keep me a secret (i doubt this i have met her friends but she is adement about family especially mother finding out, Family doesn't find out. it's not serious)

 

Plus she is very insecure there were at-least 2 instances she tried look through my Phone Lol

[Myzster]

I don't get it either, what's the big deal with bf/gf?

There are no legal implications, no ties that bind. It is perfectly possible to still tell the bf/gf "Look this isn't working out" at any time.

If you have gone to all the trouble of "exclusivity", why does a door still need left open?

Or is exclusivity just a sham in reality?

 

She just has commitment issues. Her last relationship was like this pretty much. i think she trying to put less stress on herself and the relationship. I'm just keep dating other women until she makes that full commitment no need to force the issue upon her

[mcjordan]

I admit to being an old fogey. I think "we're exclusive but you're not my boyfriend" is just weird. You'e going on dates, you're sleeping together, you aren't entertaining anyone else. What else is there except some odd....thing about the word "boyfriend" being some huge formal commitment?

 

You young whipper snappers make things way too hard

[Tribble]

She just has commitment issues. Her last relationship was like this pretty much. i think she trying to put less stress on herself and the relationship. I'm just keep dating other women until she makes that full commitment no need to force the issue upon her

 

Why bother? End it with her. For whatever reason, right or wrong, she isn't ready to stick a label on it. But you've had an exclusivity talk which, in my opinion is positive. As long as she's telling the truth, you're the only one. But because you have no label, you want to date others despite agreeing to exclusivity. If you only want to be exclusive if you have a label, you should have been honest about that. What if she just moves slow, decides to be exclusive and finds out you were seeing other people during this exclusive stage? You've already mentioned she's insecure and gas trust issues. This won't help. Just end it and let her find someone more patient.

[LookAtThisPOst]

I don't get it either, what's the big deal with bf/gf?

There are no legal implications, no ties that bind. It is perfectly possible to still tell the bf/gf "Look this isn't working out" at any time.

If you have gone to all the trouble of "exclusivity", why does a door still need left open?

Or is exclusivity just a sham in reality?

 

I'm starting to notice this more frequently among the millennials, it's called the "Hookup culture" and this is a scathing example of what this woman wants from this guy.

 

I am noticing this more and more frequently and has been a major complaint by those who want dating exclusivity.

 

It is kind of unusual for a woman to want this, as many men would LOVE to be involved with this "no strings attached" woman. Some would give up their first born for this woman's arrangement.

 

Easy booty call material this woman is.