redwhiterose Posted March 14, 2016 Posted March 14, 2016 I have been in a relationship with an amazing man for the past 6 months. We are both in our mid-20s, he is a electrical engineer and I am a nurse - so we both live busy and fulfilling lives. He treats me unbelievably. Background story, my ex and I had a very unhealthy relationship for 2 years. We fought, he had anger issues, I was needy, he cheated, disrespectful... ect. I took several months off of dating and traveled, focused on my career and improved myself. Now, I'm just not sure if I am being fair to him. I feel like I do minor things that I did in the last relationship. I.e. get upset with him for silly things, sort of like manipulate him. He is so sweet and always apologizes for WAY too much, and he has yet to act maliciously in any way shape or form. We are very great at communicating and have never had a fight that escalated or voices were raised. He has the utmost respect for me, but I don't feel like I deserve his love. I have explained to him why I am the way I am. He claims to understand and does not seem to see me the way I see myself and flaws. Sometimes I get upset at him over nothing, and he will profusely apologize and feel incredibly guilty - unnecessarily and even when I tell him it's my fault. I just feel like one day he will wake up and realize that I don't treat him nearly the way he treats me and end things. I occasionally talk myself into ending things because I'm afraid I'm just going to behave the way I did in my last relationship and the end is inevitable. I have continued to try to work on myself but I still do unhealthy things that I am aware of and I am able to voice these to my boyfriend. I guess I'm just looking for some insight.
bathtub-row Posted March 16, 2016 Posted March 16, 2016 I'm not sure what you mean by doing unhealthy things but only you control how you act. If you don't like your behavior then learn to control it. After you do that for awhile, you'll automatically stop acting that way. In other words, just re-train your brain. It sounds like you may either miss the drama with your ex, or you have issues about whether or not you deserve to be with a good man. I can save you the suspense and remind you that everyone deserves good things. Just keep in mind that you have to be careful about what you wish for. You can ruin this relationship if you're not careful. Do yourself a favor -- become the person that you can feel proud of.
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