What is dating all about?

March 14, 2016

I'm extremely cynical and skeptical about my odds of finding someone who would agree to date me. But I'm open to giving it a try. I've always been loser-ish and patently unpopular with the ladies. At the same time I've always kind of thought the whole dating/companionship thing was extremely stupid so it has worked out well so far in my life. But lately my curiosity has been getting the best of me. While I used to absolutely cherish my seclusion, nowadays I sometimes get tired of being alone all the time. I'm hoping this is just a phase that can be cured with more workload or finding other things to keep me busy. My absolute LAST resort is to try to find a girlfriend. But I'm thinking that if it comes down to that, I at least need to know about relationships. GOD that word sends a chill up my spine!

I don't see my prospects as being very high at all. I'm jobless and poor, live with my parents, etc. I do attend college which is one thing I've got going for me. However, I am extremely ugly and awkward. I know looks play a huge role in this. I'm also kind of socially inept. The things I talk about don't normally make sense to other people. I'm just kind of lost.

I just need to know the basics about relationships. Just some basic info that would give me some basic understanding of how to go about achieving one, and what is involved with them.

Thanks.

March 14, 2016

But lately my curiosity has been getting the best of me. While I used to absolutely cherish my seclusion, nowadays I sometimes get tired of being alone all the time. I'm hoping this is just a phase that can be cured with more workload or finding other things to keep me busy. My absolute LAST resort is to try to find a girlfriend. But I'm thinking that if it comes down to that, I at least need to know about relationships. GOD that word sends a chill up my spine!

My advice is to not waste anyone else's time.

Aside from all the things mentioned in the post above, you've got to want to be with someone because you like that person. Not for selfish reasons, not just to satisfy a curiosity, or cure your boredom. Otherwise (assuming you actually enter into a relationship), you're not being considerate to the person you're becoming involved with because they're not aware of the capriciousness of your ideas about the whole thing.

And if a relationship is a burden to you, don't enter one. It's simple. Best of luck.

March 15, 2016

I agree with both of you. I'm not one who should be dating for vast amounts of reasons. I kind of figured that. I just needed second opinions. So with that understood, I'll keep things the way they've always been. Thanks for the helpful answers guys!

Edited March 15, 2016 by Doop

March 15, 2016

I'm speaking in generalities....

Most people want companionship. Most people want someone to go through life with. Single life is hard. Most people want someone to eat meals with. Most people want someone to go to movies with. Most people want to have sex with something other than their hand or a battery operated toy.

Some people are loners, though.

Assuming you aren't grossly misfigured whether through accident or birth defect, I bet you aren't as ugly as you think.

If you're overweight or underweight, there's a simple fix for that....well, not easy, but simple. Diet and exercise.

If you haven't taken care of your skin, there is a market for mens facial care. Hair wise, also a market. A good stylist can help you, pick a compliemtary style and show you how to use products.

Both hair care and facial care can cost some money. It depends on how much you want to spend.

You're living at home? I'm guessing you are under 30. Without kids or a girlfriend, there's no reason why you shouldn't have two jobs. That can help with the money situation. But, being in college if you're a full time student you probably do want to stick to working only 40-50 hours a week.

Part of me does wonder if you're depressed. The other part wonders if you're 28 years old, letting mom and dad shoulder the burden while you take 1-2 classes a semester, sit in your room and play video games.

Or, again, you could just be a loner. That's totally okay. But, more than likely when you graduated college, you won't get a job where you aren't dealing with people in some fashion.

I'm pretty socially inept as well. One trick I learned, which has become a totally self defense mechanism to to get people to talk about themselves. I ALWAYS throw the ball back to them in a conversation. If someone asks you a question, make sure to ask back to them. How is your day? What are you working on? What are you doing tonight? What are you doing this weekend? Have you seen X movie? Normally, people will answer something that lets me ask more questions.

March 15, 2016

I'm speaking in generalities....

Most people want companionship. Most people want someone to go through life with. Single life is hard. Most people want someone to eat meals with. Most people want someone to go to movies with. Most people want to have sex with something other than their hand or a battery operated toy.

Some people are loners, though.

Assuming you aren't grossly misfigured whether through accident or birth defect, I bet you aren't as ugly as you think.

If you're overweight or underweight, there's a simple fix for that....well, not easy, but simple. Diet and exercise.

If you haven't taken care of your skin, there is a market for mens facial care. Hair wise, also a market. A good stylist can help you, pick a compliemtary style and show you how to use products.

Both hair care and facial care can cost some money. It depends on how much you want to spend.

You're living at home? I'm guessing you are under 30. Without kids or a girlfriend, there's no reason why you shouldn't have two jobs. That can help with the money situation. But, being in college if you're a full time student you probably do want to stick to working only 40-50 hours a week.

Part of me does wonder if you're depressed. The other part wonders if you're 28 years old, letting mom and dad shoulder the burden while you take 1-2 classes a semester, sit in your room and play video games.

Or, again, you could just be a loner. That's totally okay. But, more than likely when you graduated college, you won't get a job where you aren't dealing with people in some fashion.

I'm pretty socially inept as well. One trick I learned, which has become a totally self defense mechanism to to get people to talk about themselves. I ALWAYS throw the ball back to them in a conversation. If someone asks you a question, make sure to ask back to them. How is your day? What are you working on? What are you doing tonight? What are you doing this weekend? Have you seen X movie? Normally, people will answer something that lets me ask more questions.

You are correct on some accounts. I'll unpack it for you so you won't be able to make sweeping statements about me.

I'm 25, virgin, unemployed, full-time college student. I have had jobs in the past. Some of them menial, a few of them decent. I don't play video games. I don't have much of a work ethic. I do suffer from extreme depression and have all my life.

I do have birth defects/deformities, one of them being severe Pectus Excavatum. If you don't know what this is, look it up. My ugly and repulsive looks are unavoidable, even to the most politically correct hippie person, this is not my depression talking. I also have some rather extreme personality issues that I can't even decipher. I have not been diagnosed or treated for any of the above problems except for being diagnosed with the deformity. I am opposed to seeking medical help for any of the above issues.

I am opposed to working full time while attending school full time. Most people look at college as something they just have to "pass" so they can get a "degree" so they can get a "job". That's not how I view college. I'm going for the EDUCATION first and foremost. Under-performance academically is unacceptable to me. I plan to become a Ph.D. candidate. I am not going to college just to pass the classes and and get a job afterwards. I actually value education and knowledge where most people just value the degree.

It's true. Relationships have always seemed so silly and stupid to me. But I'm so conflicted on the problem that it just bothers me to no end. Sometimes I think I want to have a companion. But other times I think the idea seems like it would be so miserable and would force me to give up so much of my integrity and make such profound compromises of my true self that it would be unthinkable. Just the sheer amount of adults I see saying and doing such childish nonsense based around these ideas of dating/marriage/relationships is just appalling and laughable to me. I literally can't believe grown ups act this way. Why can't the human race be like other species, where sex is just casual and a means of continuing the species and there really isn't anything magical about mating? But people want to be so EXCLUSIVE with everything. Its just silly and stupid to me. Not that alternatives exist.

I have attempted suicide before several times. Not because I'm upset for never having companionship, but because I just don't see that the world is compatible with me, or that I'm compatible with the world. I don't really like much of what the world has to offer. I don't get enjoyment out anything I try. Life is just numb and unsatisfying for me. It doesn't offer anything I deem to be worth while or enjoyable. It gets so boring that I'd just rather not live. Non-existence seems much more enjoyable than anything I've experienced in life so far. And I'm getting older now. I'm sinking more into unemployability and just sheer oblivion. The way I've treated life so far is a shame. I've allowed myself to keep sinking to the point where there's really no way back out. The world only really likes smart, capable, upstanding people.

I will never seek medical/professional help for any of this. There's nothing that can be done really. I am who I am, and no therapy or drugs is going to overpower that. Besides, I'm not even really sold on life anyway. I've been contemplating ending my life for some time now and it just seems like the best route for me. That's just my opinion.

March 15, 2016

You are correct on some accounts. I'll unpack it for you so you won't be able to make sweeping statements about me.

I'm 25, virgin, unemployed, full-time college student. I have had jobs in the past. Some of them menial, a few of them decent. I don't play video games. I don't have much of a work ethic. I do suffer from extreme depression and have all my life.

I do have birth defects/deformities, one of them being severe Pectus Excavatum. If you don't know what this is, look it up. My ugly and repulsive looks are unavoidable, even to the most politically correct hippie person, this is not my depression talking. I also have some rather extreme personality issues that I can't even decipher. I have not been diagnosed or treated for any of the above problems except for being diagnosed with the deformity. I am opposed to seeking medical help for any of the above issues.

I am opposed to working full time while attending school full time. Most people look at college as something they just have to "pass" so they can get a "degree" so they can get a "job". That's not how I view college. I'm going for the EDUCATION first and foremost. Under-performance academically is unacceptable to me. I plan to become a Ph.D. candidate. I am not going to college just to pass the classes and and get a job afterwards. I actually value education and knowledge where most people just value the degree.

It's true. Relationships have always seemed so silly and stupid to me. But I'm so conflicted on the problem that it just bothers me to no end. Sometimes I think I want to have a companion. But other times I think the idea seems like it would be so miserable and would force me to give up so much of my integrity and make such profound compromises of my true self that it would be unthinkable. Just the sheer amount of adults I see saying and doing such childish nonsense based around these ideas of dating/marriage/relationships is just appalling and laughable to me. I literally can't believe grown ups act this way. Why can't the human race be like other species, where sex is just casual and a means of continuing the species and there really isn't anything magical about mating? But people want to be so EXCLUSIVE with everything. Its just silly and stupid to me. Not that alternatives exist.

I have attempted suicide before several times. Not because I'm upset for never having companionship, but because I just don't see that the world is compatible with me, or that I'm compatible with the world. I don't really like much of what the world has to offer. I don't get enjoyment out anything I try. Life is just numb and unsatisfying for me. It doesn't offer anything I deem to be worth while or enjoyable. It gets so boring that I'd just rather not live. Non-existence seems much more enjoyable than anything I've experienced in life so far. And I'm getting older now. I'm sinking more into unemployability and just sheer oblivion. The way I've treated life so far is a shame. I've allowed myself to keep sinking to the point where there's really no way back out. The world only really likes smart, capable, upstanding people.

I will never seek medical/professional help for any of this. There's nothing that can be done really. I am who I am, and no therapy or drugs is going to overpower that. Besides, I'm not even really sold on life anyway. I've been contemplating ending my life for some time now and it just seems like the best route for me. That's just my opinion.

You're a bright guy. Or at least one who can type a coherent sentence.

Through a fluke I did know about pectus excavatum. That doesn't make you ugly. If that is your only body issue, you aren't a freak or ugly. If you're that worried about looks, I'd encourage you to work with seeing impaired people.

I had a 3.9 GPA. I worked 50 hours a week. I had a high maintenance husband. And I had an internship. And I was older than you are.

For a bright guy, you're being moronic about treatment. If you have a headache, you take a pill, headache goes away. Mental illness is treatable and the medications aren't addictive. No, it won't go away in 30 minutes, it could take close to a year to get the right med and dosage.

Good luck to you. This part of your life isn't forever. I can't say I've ever had long term goals (dreams, yes) but when I look back over the last 17 years, each 5 year chunk of time has been better than the one before it.

March 15, 2016

You're a bright guy. Or at least one who can type a coherent sentence.

Through a fluke I did know about pectus excavatum. That doesn't make you ugly. If that is your only body issue, you aren't a freak or ugly. If you're that worried about looks, I'd encourage you to work with seeing impaired people.

I had a 3.9 GPA. I worked 50 hours a week. I had a high maintenance husband. And I had an internship. And I was older than you are.

For a bright guy, you're being moronic about treatment. If you have a headache, you take a pill, headache goes away. Mental illness is treatable and the medications aren't addictive. No, it won't go away in 30 minutes, it could take close to a year to get the right med and dosage.

Good luck to you. This part of your life isn't forever. I can't say I've ever had long term goals (dreams, yes) but when I look back over the last 17 years, each 5 year chunk of time has been better than the one before it.

Don't mistake me for a smart person. I'm actually very challenged academically, especially with math. I'm challenged with many other areas as well.

A headache is a form of physical pain. Depression is a personality trait I'm convinced. You can forcibly suppress it, but you can't make it go away. Medication does not solve the problem at all. All it does is force happy thoughts. Whatever version of myself that would be happy under medication would not be me. It would be some alternate version of me.

My reasons for my suicidal aspirations are not even related to depression anyway. They are the result of a rational consideration of my life, an understanding of the insignificance of my life, and the lack of reasons to enjoy living. I have deemed life to be boring and unsatisfying. I'm not just judging from my own experiences, I'm taking a very considerate look at what life has to offer. I don't find any of it interesting or worth while. I'm very lazy and I just don't have the energy to keep going. Especially when life just doesn't seem to offer anything appealing to me.

Besides, this isn't a depression forum and you guys aren't my shrinks. So there's no real need to offer me any help.

Edited March 15, 2016 by Doop

March 15, 2016

I did not know what Pectus Excavatum was, so I decided to google it. That ain't a big deal, at least not by itself. One of the most beautiful women I ever dated had that "deformity" and it wasn't a big deal at all. It definitely doesn't hold her back from getting dates. I never knew what her condition was, or that it was even considered a deformity.

Don't judge it by the pictures you see online. My case was one of the worst cases in medical history. I had to travel to Houston, Texas from my home state of Tennessee to find a world-renowned specialist who could even do the procedure on it. My chest sunk all the way to my spine, causing severe curvatures and deformities of my back, and causing my rib cage to have a very odd shape and appearance. I had two procedures done on it. Once in 1995 when I was four, and once in 2009 when I was 18. The latest procedure was the last. It required such drastic surgical measures that all my ribs were broken, and a major restructuring of my sternum was necessary. The shock my body took, along with the hard medication I was taking took its toll on me. I lost much of my hair that I never got back (I now wear a hair piece). And it had bad cosmetic effects on my skin and teeth. And my chest and back still look strange and deformed.

But I'm not complaining. None of this has anything to do with my depression. I'm depressed simply because I don't like life. I just don't feel like I'm a good candidate for life, or that I'm compatible with the world as it is. But anyway, I didn't want to get on the topic of my depression. I was really just asking for information about dating. The whole process confuses me. Maybe my perception of it being "silly and stupid" is due to my ignorance and inexperience. I just want to know more about why grown up people do these things that I see them doing, and what the ultimate goal in engaging in this stuff is.

March 15, 2016

Don't mistake me for a smart person. I'm actually very challenged academically, especially with math. I'm challenged with many other areas as well.

A headache is a form of physical pain. Depression is a personality trait I'm convinced. You can forcibly suppress it, but you can't make it go away. Medication does not solve the problem at all. All it does is force happy thoughts. Whatever version of myself that would be happy under medication would not be me. It would be some alternate version of me.

My reasons for my suicidal aspirations are not even related to depression anyway. They are the result of a rational consideration of my life, an understanding of the insignificance of my life, and the lack of reasons to enjoy living. I have deemed life to be boring and unsatisfying. I'm not just judging from my own experiences, I'm taking a very considerate look at what life has to offer. I don't find any of it interesting or worth while. I'm very lazy and I just don't have the energy to keep going. Especially when life just doesn't seem to offer anything appealing to me.

Besides, this isn't a depression forum and you guys aren't my shrinks. So there's no real need to offer me any help.

You're wrong. Depression and mental illness are the result of our bodies/brain not producing the correct dosage of chemicals. My degree is in psychology. I've done counseling, hated it, but I did like studying individual motivation. I am drastically simplifying things, but this is science, not voodoo.

Again, it can be chemical or it can be neurological. It can simply be situational. Someone suffers a death of a parent. They are sad. Weeks later they are still sad. Eventually the brain struggles to produce the "happy" chemicals. Medication can help with that.

You're stuck and feeling like nothing can help and your life will never change. You seem to want to come here and just listen to the people that tell you what you want to hear. You have yet to really live, yet you have rationalized the idea of suicicde. That is not the thought process of a brain that is healthy.

I don't know if you're a troll or not, but again it seems like you don't want to hear suggestions, ideas or options. So, I'm just going to say it again. As long as you keep moving forward, keep working on school. Hopefully, you won't have massive college debt when you're finished, that may not help your frame of mind. But, your life will not always be like this.

Unless you want it to be.

Good luck.

March 15, 2016

The thing that would help you most is a positive attitude.

I know several "ugly" men who are in relationships. Some in relationships with beautiful women. Know several socially awkward men in relationships. Know several disabled men in relationships. Two had been in wheelchairs for years before they even met the women.

One thing they all had in common was they believed a relationship was possible for them. And it was.

March 15, 2016

The thing that would help you most is a positive attitude.

I know several "ugly" men who are in relationships. Some in relationships with beautiful women. Know several socially awkward men in relationships. Know several disabled men in relationships. Two had been in wheelchairs for years before they even met the women.

One thing they all had in common was they believed a relationship was possible for them. And it was.

I would invite you to come spend a day with me. You would eat those words a hundred times over.

March 15, 2016

I would invite you to come spend a day with me. You would eat those words a hundred times over.

I doubt it. You have no clue what challenges I've overcome. I'm willing to bet I would be able to show you what can be accomplished despite the odds long before you convince me that life is miserable.

The fact of the matter is nothing you've said precludes you from love and a relationship. There are many men in your situation or worse who have love in their lives.

The only thing standing in your way is YOU.

March 15, 2016

I doubt it. You have no clue what challenges I've overcome. I'm willing to bet I would be able to show you what can be accomplished despite the odds long before you convince me that life is miserable.

The fact of the matter is nothing you've said precludes you from love and a relationship. There are many men in your situation or worse who have love in their lives.

The only thing standing in your way is YOU.

Like I said before. My physical ailments are not all that is wrong with me. You haven't the slightest clue what you're talking about. My problems stem from fundamental aspects of my personality and overall essence that cannot be altered.

Every single individual human female in existence on planet Earth despises me. Every girl I have ever seen has hated me. I have had several come up to me at random and tell me I looked ugly or "funny". No girl I have ever asked out has ever said yes. I've been set up on numerous blind dates, all of which bailed early and never spoke to me again. Women always give me bad looks like I am offending them with my presence. I don't even have to speak a word to them. Its hate at first site every time. Its with every single human female in the entire world too. Past, present, and future. Not just some of them. Not even just a majority of them. ALL of them. Every single one. There has not been a single one in my 25 years of life I have every met or heard about that has liked me, or better yet, hasn't hated me. Not even one girl that wanted to grant the benefit of the doubt long enough just to speak one word to me.

One time, three of my friends decided to take me out to a big party to try and help me out. They knew four girls that were going to be there together. When we got there, my three friends paired up with three of the girls. They were trying to get the fourth girl to talk to me. She didn't want to be anywhere near me and went home.

I don't act mean or offensive around them. I'm not a neurotic idiot around them. I don't do anything that should offend them or make them uncomfortable. They just simply don't like me, and would be willing to do pretty much anything to get away from me. I am not over-dramatizing this. They unanimously hate me. Its like all women in the world get together like a big scientific conference and decide that hating me is the best use of their mental resources.

When I was in grade school girls used to gang up in the hallways and tell me I was ugly. The facts kind of speak for themselves. If I were to date someone it would be a travesty and injustice to the girl who agrees to date me. It would have to be an arranged marriage or relationship because no girl would ever willfully do it on her own. Women know what they want. They pick real men. They pick the guys who chump the other guys. Either that or they want one that makes them feel beautiful or intelligent. I can't offer them what they want. They don't want defective losers like me.

But like I said, its a good thing that I have never cared much for the concept of dating anyway. If I did I'd be beating myself up over these facts. But I can handle them. I'm really just here because I'm curious about all this relationship stuff I see all around me all the time.

One of my biggest questions is how do you find people to date? All the women I see are already taken anyway. There are no single people in this world. And if there are, they sure don't want a god damn thing to do with me. I don't see where people find people.

Edited March 15, 2016 by Doop

March 15, 2016

Dating for a man, is about going out, having fun, and getting laid. I see no reason for you to be excluded from that.

I'm extremely cynical and skeptical about my odds of finding someone who would agree to date me. But I'm open to giving it a try.

Don't do things half-arsed. You are either in, or you're out.

My absolute LAST resort is to try to find a girlfriend. But I'm thinking that if it comes down to that, I at least need to know about relationships. GOD that word sends a chill up my spine!

Why do you think that your only options are being a monk, or being in a serious monogamous relationship?

That's one extreme to another.

I don't see my prospects as being very high at all. I'm jobless and poor, live with my parents, etc. I do attend college which is one thing I've got going for me. However, I am extremely ugly and awkward. I know looks play a huge role in this. I'm also kind of socially inept. The things I talk about don't normally make sense to other people. I'm just kind of lost.

Let's look at each of those points:

Jobless and poor - Only matters if you are offering a woman security. Offer her a good time instead.

Live with my parents - I moved back in with my mum, for a time, a few years ago. Didn't skip a beat with regards to getting laid. Once again, don't expect a woman to consider you husband material though.

Extremely ugly... - looks are easy for a man to acquire. Just lift weights and get buff.

... and awkward - speaking to women is so easy Women like to talk about themselves. Center everything on her, and playfully make fun of her.

I just need to know the basics about relationships. Just some basic info that would give me some basic understanding of how to go about achieving one, and what is involved with them.

Approach, approach, approach.

March 15, 2016

Dating for a man, is about going out, having fun, and getting laid. I see no reason for you to be excluded from that.

Don't do things half-arsed. You are either in, or you're out.

Why do you think that your only options are being a monk, or being in a serious monogamous relationship?

That's one extreme to another.

Let's look at each of those points:

Jobless and poor - Only matters if you are offering a woman security. Offer her a good time instead.

Live with my parents - I moved back in with my mum, for a time, a few years ago. Didn't skip a beat with regards to getting laid. Once again, don't expect a woman to consider you husband material though.

Extremely ugly... - looks are easy for a man to acquire. Just lift weights and get buff.

... and awkward - speaking to women is so easy Women like to talk about themselves. Center everything on her, and playfully make fun of her.

Approach, approach, approach.

Look, I've told you people as many ways as I can think of. I'll say it one more time.

That stuff only works for normal people. I have done experiments where I have walked into the library at school, walked past a girl sitting there and walked up and said something like "hi, how are you". They always gave me this look like "please walk away before I vomit in your face." Then some other guy would walk in not long after me and say the exact same thing, to the exact same girl, in the exact same way and she would smile, blush, and say hi back. I have paid attention and it is transparently obvious that girls unanimously hate the very fabric of me.

You guys are treating me as if I were a normal person. You are forgetting that its me we're talking about me. Women will NEVER go for me. EVER. It is physically, mathematically, and practically impossible.

You people are dismissing how ugly and deformed I am. You are disregarding it. You are assuming that I am exaggerating when I make these statements about myself. When I say ugly and deformed, think of sloth on the Goonies. That is no stretch at all. I am a very unpleasant looking man. No girl could ever love that. She just couldn't. Put it together with my ****ty awkward personality and you got one guy that could never have even the slightest hope of attracting women. My history shows this exquisitely. Women have told me ad nauseam my whole life that I am an ugly, defective, loser who they want to be aware of the fact that he is such.

Edited March 15, 2016 by Doop

March 15, 2016

Look, I've told you people as many ways as I can think of. I'll say it one more time.

That stuff only works for normal people. I have done experiments where I have walked into the library at school, walked past a girl sitting there and walked up and said something like "hi, how are you". They always gave me this look like "please walk away before I vomit in your face." Then some other guy would walk in not long after me and say the exact same thing, to the exact same girl, in the exact same way and she would smile, blush, and say hi back. I have paid attention and it is transparently obvious that girls unanimously hate the very fabric of me.

You guys are treating me as if I were a normal person. You are forgetting that its me we're talking about me. Women will NEVER go for me. EVER. It is physically, mathematically, and practically impossible.

No, you look.

A strong man pushes his reality outwards. He doesn't just accept any old crap that is served to him.

If you believe that you aren't good enough, then that will be your reality.

No woman will want a man that acts this weak. One that just gives up and rolls into the fetal position. Your biggest problem is your defeatist attitude.

If things are really as bad for you as you make out, then what have you got to lose by really pushing the boundaries, at least once in your life? Just to see what can, or cannot be accomplished. Rather than doing nothing, and wondering what could have been in your old age.

March 15, 2016

No, you look.

A strong man pushes his reality outwards. He doesn't just accept any old crap that is served to him.

If you believe that you aren't good enough, then that will be your reality.

No woman will want a man that acts this weak. One that just gives up and rolls into the fetal position. Your biggest problem is your defeatist attitude.

If things are really as bad for you as you make out, then what have you got to lose by really pushing the boundaries, at least once in your life? Just to see what can, or cannot be accomplished. Rather than doing nothing, and wondering what could have been in your old age.

You assume I haven't tried this stuff you are suggesting before. I have tried it all. I've tried being outgoing. I've tried all the suggestions people have told me. Nothing I do has an impact on women's perceptions of me. They hate me. Simple as that. I don't even understand it. That's why I'm here. It really is remarkable. I'm not making this **** up. I'm not an alpha male like you.

March 15, 2016

You assume I haven't tried this stuff you are suggesting before. I have tried it all. I've tried being outgoing. I've tried all the suggestions people have told me. Nothing I do has an impact on women's perceptions of me. They hate me. Simple as that. I don't even understand it. That's why I'm here. It really is remarkable. I'm not making this **** up. I'm not an alpha male like you.

Explain what you mean, when you say that you've tried.

And try to be really specific.

March 15, 2016

Explain what you mean, when you say that you've tried.

And try to be really specific.

Sure,

I've tried re-evaluating myself. Dressing nicer. Getting advice on wardrobe etc. I've evaluated, as you said, my "approach" to women. I've tried acting humble and kind. I've tried being more outgoing and displaying a modicum of confidence. I've tried just being myself around women (not a good idea). I've tried being flirty and acting interested in what the girl has to say. I've tried acting uninterested. I've done everything people like you have told me to do. I've been sincere and honest. I've put in my best efforts. I just get the hands thrown up in my face, "sorry, I find you repulsive" reaction from them every single time. Not once has one of them even pursued the situation much beyond the hellos. They hate me. How much more exquisite evidence does someone need until they admit it and throw in the towel? You are making a sweeping assumption that everyone has the same opportunities and abilities to do things as you or anyone else. That's just not true. Not even at all.

March 15, 2016

Look, I've told you people as many ways as I can think of. I'll say it one more time.

That stuff only works for normal people. I have done experiments where I have walked into the library at school, walked past a girl sitting there and walked up and said something like "hi, how are you". They always gave me this look like "please walk away before I vomit in your face." Then some other guy would walk in not long after me and say the exact same thing, to the exact same girl, in the exact same way and she would smile, blush, and say hi back. I have paid attention and it is transparently obvious that girls unanimously hate the very fabric of me.

You guys are treating me as if I were a normal person. You are forgetting that its me we're talking about me. Women will NEVER go for me. EVER. It is physically, mathematically, and practically impossible.

You people are dismissing how ugly and deformed I am. You are disregarding it. You are assuming that I am exaggerating when I make these statements about myself. When I say ugly and deformed, think of sloth on the Goonies. That is no stretch at all. I am a very unpleasant looking man. No girl could ever love that. She just couldn't. Put it together with my ****ty awkward personality and you got one guy that could never have even the slightest hope of attracting women. My history shows this exquisitely. Women have told me ad nauseam my whole life that I am an ugly, defective, loser who they want to be aware of the fact that he is such.

Then find women that suffer from the same condition as you. Or you wouldn't date them?

I think you should work on accomplish yourself before thinking of finding a girlfriend. Finish your college, find a job, move out of your parents home.

If you are not physically attractive then you need something else to attract women. You need a personality: Travel, develop a particular talent, be passionate about something.

If you are indeed ugly, unemployed, living in your parents basement, you're right, you won't find.

March 15, 2016

I'm like a knock-down, one-two punch of unattractive. Personality sucks, and am extremely ugly. I'm not just ugly. I'm deformed. So, realistically no one's going to date me. People like to think that they are not prejudiced against appearance. But they are. Even I am. I have standards. Low on the scale as I am, I still hqve standards. I'm not going to deny it.

I've always heard being castrated took away desires and sexuality. But I'm not sure you could just go and have that done. If that were available it would probably be a great option for me. Just take away the desire for sex or companionship indefinitely and I can be as ugly as I want with no issues. Happy as a lark.

Gosh this conversation is depressing me. I'm just going to give it up. Thanks guys.

March 15, 2016

I'm like a knock-down, one-two punch of unattractive. Personality sucks, and am extremely ugly. I'm not just ugly. I'm deformed. So, realistically no one's going to date me. People like to think that they are not prejudiced against appearance. But they are. Even I am. I have standards. Low on the scale as I am, I still hqve standards. I'm not going to deny it.

I've always heard being castrated took away desires and sexuality. But I'm not sure you could just go and have that done. If that were available it would probably be a great option for me. Just take away the desire for sex or companionship indefinitely and I can be as ugly as I want with no issues. Happy as a lark.

Gosh this conversation is depressing me. I'm just going to give it up. Thanks guys.

Do whatever makes you happy, mate. Women aren't everything.

March 15, 2016

Stephen Hawking

Danny DeVito

Michael Jackson

Flavor Flav

Adolf Hitler

Christopher Reeve*

Truman Capote

Bill Gates

Donald Trump

These men are all either homely or have/had a physical impairment. Some of them are (or were) very wealthy, some of them are more famous than others, but fame doesn't buy a house, security and money only lasts so long, when there's a pretty awful personality behind it.

Trust me, Danny DeVito has always been short.

I thought about taking the time and finding "real" people rather than famous people, but I'm quite sure you've checked out of this thread.

March 15, 2016

Like I said before. My physical ailments are not all that is wrong with me. You haven't the slightest clue what you're talking about. My problems stem from fundamental aspects of my personality and overall essence that cannot be altered.

Every single individual human female in existence on planet Earth despises me. Every girl I have ever seen has hated me. I have had several come up to me at random and tell me I looked ugly or "funny". No girl I have ever asked out has ever said yes. I've been set up on numerous blind dates, all of which bailed early and never spoke to me again. Women always give me bad looks like I am offending them with my presence. I don't even have to speak a word to them. Its hate at first site every time. Its with every single human female in the entire world too. Past, present, and future. Not just some of them. Not even just a majority of them. ALL of them. Every single one. There has not been a single one in my 25 years of life I have every met or heard about that has liked me, or better yet, hasn't hated me. Not even one girl that wanted to grant the benefit of the doubt long enough just to speak one word to me.

One time, three of my friends decided to take me out to a big party to try and help me out. They knew four girls that were going to be there together. When we got there, my three friends paired up with three of the girls. They were trying to get the fourth girl to talk to me. She didn't want to be anywhere near me and went home.

I don't act mean or offensive around them. I'm not a neurotic idiot around them. I don't do anything that should offend them or make them uncomfortable. They just simply don't like me, and would be willing to do pretty much anything to get away from me. I am not over-dramatizing this. They unanimously hate me. Its like all women in the world get together like a big scientific conference and decide that hating me is the best use of their mental resources.

When I was in grade school girls used to gang up in the hallways and tell me I was ugly. The facts kind of speak for themselves. If I were to date someone it would be a travesty and injustice to the girl who agrees to date me. It would have to be an arranged marriage or relationship because no girl would ever willfully do it on her own. Women know what they want. They pick real men. They pick the guys who chump the other guys. Either that or they want one that makes them feel beautiful or intelligent. I can't offer them what they want. They don't want defective losers like me.

But like I said, its a good thing that I have never cared much for the concept of dating anyway. If I did I'd be beating myself up over these facts. But I can handle them. I'm really just here because I'm curious about all this relationship stuff I see all around me all the time.

One of my biggest questions is how do you find people to date? All the women I see are already taken anyway. There are no single people in this world. And if there are, they sure don't want a god damn thing to do with me. I don't see where people find people.

I know this is untrue because you speak in absolutes. Just as all the women you see are not taken, all women don't hate you either.

What you're saying is just not true.

You were right when you told Jabron your personality sucks however. Your attitude does too.

As I stated before, I know of at least two guys in wheelchairs who got married.

One was a paraplegic - paralyzed from the waist down. This guy married one of the most attractive nurses from the medical clinic we both went to. He had a great attitude. Friendly, warm, always smiling, spreading joy to others. It's not surprising he ended up with a great girl.

The second guy from appearances alone was much worse off. He has cerebral palsy. His body is severely deformed and distorted. He has to be strapped in his wheelchair so he won't fall out. His speech is slurred. His head hangs at an odd angle.

However, I don't think I've ever seen a more positive and determined person. I watched this guy get a Bachelor's degree from my college. Then a Master's. Then go on to get a Doctorate. All the while, even as an undergrad, working in the Office of Student Affairs as an advocate for students - particularly disabled students. This guy would go out of his way to defend and help any student. If any student really needed help, they knew to go to Dr. *******. He would help them. The campus loved him. Still do. He's an inspiration.

One interesting thing about him is - despite his disability - he is fiercely independent. Insisting on doing things for himself. He even had a special car designed so he can drive himself. Drove himself to school and work everyday.

Is it surprising that he also married a nice, able-bodied woman? No. He has a great attitude.

As I said before, that's your biggest problem. Attitude. Something you can change.

Edited March 15, 2016 by MidKnightDreams

March 15, 2016

I know this is untrue because you speak in absolutes. Just as all the women you see are not taken, all women don't hate you either.

What you're saying is just not true.

You were right when you told Jabron your personality sucks however. Your attitude does too.

As I stated before, I know of at least two guys in wheelchairs who got married.

One was a paraplegic - paralyzed from the waist down. This guy married one of the most attractive nurses from the medical clinic we both went to. He had a great attitude. Friendly, warm, always smiling, spreading joy to others. It's not surprising he ended up with a great girl.

The second guy from appearances alone was much worse off. He has cerebral palsy. His body is severely deformed and distorted. He has to be strapped in his wheelchair so he won't fall out. His speech is slurred. His head hangs at an odd angle.

However, I don't think I've ever seen a more positive and determined person. I watched this guy get a Bachelor's degree from my college. Then a Master's. Then go on to get a Doctorate. All the while, even as an undergrad, working in the Office of Student Affairs as an advocate for students - particularly disabled students. This guy would go out of his way to defend and help any student. If any student really needed help, they knew to go to Dr. *******. He would help them. The campus loved him. Still do. He's an inspiration.

One interesting thing about him is - despite his disability - he is fiercely independent. Insisting on doing things for himself. He even had a special car designed so he can drive himself. Drove himself to school and work everyday.

Is it surprising that he also married a nice, able-bodied woman? No. He has a great attitude.

As I said before, that's your biggest problem. Attitude. Something you can change.

Be all that as it may. These people you talk about are not me. There is an aura or essence about me that makes me different. I told you, I've tried on different attitudes. I've put a great deal of time into trying t,o correct these problems. I'm just different. I'm special in that way. It is so obvious in the faces of the people I meet. There is something about me that partitions me from the rest of the world. Its not attitude, its not stubbornness. Its something unwavering, unchangeable, and fundamental about me.

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