LoveRefreshed Posted March 14, 2016 Posted March 14, 2016 Hi all, My gf said something to me that makes Admiral Ackbar's warning a bit too real. So, my ex gf was super jealous and we dated for five years. It has caused me to become very defensive and almost overly open/honest about girls flirting with me that makes me look suspicious. As that is the case, when this co-worker girl that I had met in a training did a 'above the knee' touch/squeeze at one of my jokes and also grabbed and rubbed my shoulder real quick in passing, I had a "oh ****, I flirted too much" feeling. This was done the first day I met her in this training and her behavior with me was quite different than any of the other guys. I'm also a charming flirt and didn't realize I was making such an impression that led her to writing her number down on one of my business cards. So when I got home from the bar (I went from work to the bar with a guy friend) after a couple beers, my gf came over and I started telling her about this and showing her the girl's number and explaining it was a 5 year older single mother and she was flirting but I had just met her and not interested, etc etc... My gf was so laid back about it, she started giggling and said if I hadn't shown her that number and she found it, she would have given me **** about "oh, who were you playin with?". I told her about my ex's jealousy and that I'm just concerned and want to be honest about it and she was like "honey, she could suck your cock and I wouldn't care. Just don't stick your dick in her vagina and you're fine". Now, my gf was in am open marriage and a swinger for a long time, but I totally can't give her such freedom back. She said she's fine with that. I feel like this is a trap. Not that I have a list of girls I'm waiting to go try and touch with my penis, I just can't help but think if I open that box, wouldn't she want to then too? That's not something I can handle and hope she isn't hoping to revert back to an open relationship (she has told me that she always wanted a monogamous relationship and she's super happy with it just being us). I am open to exploring sexually, but letting my gf suck off some dude isn't on my list of things I want. What does LS think? Can they have a one way boundary? I told her that I wouldn't do anything I'm not comfortable with her doing. She seemed to be happy about it, but it's almost left me wondering.. how can she feel about me if she can share me with other women? She said it's just different for her and it's not about any 'lack' of feeling for me.
DominicWayne Posted March 15, 2016 Posted March 15, 2016 Some grammar mistakes in your post make it incoherent to me so I am going off what I think you said. So the situation here is that your gf is jealous beyond belief and a few days after, popped the question of doing something with another girl? My verdict is I think you should break up with her. Constant jealousy in a woman is almost always a sign of some internal conflict within her and that is toxic to the relationship. That toxicity will cause discord between you two and that's no way to have a relationship. As for the flirting on your part, take it easy man. As for the mention of a threesome, if you don't feel uncomfortable, don't do it manye. Correct me on my understanding if its wrong. Good luck badass.
Cinnamonstix Posted March 15, 2016 Posted March 15, 2016 Some grammar mistakes in your post make it incoherent to me so I am going off what I think you said. So the situation here is that your gf is jealous beyond belief and a few days after, popped the question of doing something with another girl? . His ex was super jealous, not his current gf. As such, it has led him to being very open and honest with his current gf about other women flirting with him. His current gf is laid back to the point that it is worrying to the OP.
lilmissjava Posted March 15, 2016 Posted March 15, 2016 ^^ His ex gf was super jealous and to avoid going down that path again, he is being completely open with this new gf. OP I think you should know what you are both comfortable with, and if you don't know ask her. if she says she wants monogamy, give it to her. Tell her what you told us here. That is the only way you are going to know.
ses Posted March 15, 2016 Posted March 15, 2016 Personally, I don't think it's fair to have one-way boundaries unless there's an agreement between both individuals to explore. Open relationships work among couples who have a very strong commitment and sense of security. Although it seems nice to want to explore fantasies sometimes, I'm jealous and could not handle seeing my partner with someone else. Every person is different. You should discuss with her your expectations and see how she feels. You may be opening a Pandora's box, otherwise.
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