Boyfriend broke up with me out of blue yesterday. Can't accept it.

[olivia5552]

We have been dating for almost 4 months. At the beginning, it was amazing. He was attentive, his crazy matched my crazy, I really felt like he could be "the one". We were living quite far from each other, but managed to see at least every weekend. He visited me, I introduced him to my friends, they were really amazed by how we are perfect for each other. Then I left the country (1000 km away) but knowing that I'm coming back. At that time, it was really difficult, but we managed to work even with having long-distance relationship. We were texting, skyping everyday, he told me he never missed anybody this much. Then after 6 weeks I went to visit him, we had great 10 days together, I felt like our relationship is getting stronger. Then I had to go away again. But this time he was much more distant, still texiting he misses me and that it's very difficult. He had less time (his school started, so it was understandable) but was saying all the time he wants to be with me. So we met after a month and everything was great again. I was visiting him the day before yesterday. Everything was even better, we had our usual laugh, had a great time, even went out with his friends for the first time. Saturday morning was also amazing, smiling at each other, cuddling. And then we were talking when are we gonna see each other again. He was supposed to come next week and then we didn't know cause he had some duties for school. So I told him how frustrated I am about the situation, that it's difficult, that Iwant him really much but can't do this anymore. He was surprised because I didn't elaborate my statement and told me I should do that, so I told him again, that I want us to work and I am willing to do everything in order to manage. I wanted him to tell me what he thinks about all of it but he was quiet, thinking for minutes and then I asked again a he said he wants me. But we have problems. I asked what problems and he said distance- I said that it can be fixed. Then he said something about communication and that he likes me. I pushed and told that that is the problem. And he broke down, started to cry (was crying for hour and half) and telling me that we shouldn't continue. I was shocked, didn't see that coming at all. He told me he was in love at the beginning but was in doubt for our future for longer time, so I started to cry as well, told him I have never loved anybody as much as I love him. We were both crying, he even more and was saying sorry, telling me it will be alright.

It's the next day and I feel like dying, cause yesterday was the last time I saw a man I thought of is the love of my life.

And he was crying, over and over again. In the evening he sent me a text he hopes the best for me, that I am te kindest person he ever met. And that he hopes we can be friends some time. I answered that no, he hurt me too much. And for the last time sent him a goodnight text. He answered - goodnight beautiful with heart emoji.

I cannot accept it and it doesn't feel like he was telling me what he really felt and especially the fact that he broke down and cried (I have never seen him like that before)

I can't see anything in my future without him, I just love him so much. Is there anything? any hope?

Thanks for your answers, guys

[d0nnivain]

You move way too fast emotionally. You have know this boy for 120 days & you are fantasizing about him being the One. Slow down.

 

The distance is a problem for him. You have to accept that. He would much rather date the cute girl in his class then worry about you 1,000 km away.

 

You are not in a position to overcome his concerns. Do not try.

[pteromom]

The crying could just be that he felt bad for hurting you, or that he felt ashamed or guilty. It doesn't mean that he was feeling the level of "love" that you were feeling. Actually - he broke up with you. So that tells you that what he was feeling wasn't at that level.

 

People get confused about "love". They tend to say they "love" you just because they are having butterflies and strong romantic pull when they are around you. But that is NOT love. It's simply the "honeymoon phase" aka "limerance" of a new relationship. It can be strong and it can be powerful - but it isn't love, and it doesn't = a commitment.

 

We have ALL been where you are. I remember the pain so well of my first few breakups. So raw and confusing. But I promise you will get through it. Let yourself cry. Let yourself grieve what you thought you had, and the hopes you had for your future with him.

 

Then - when your crying subsides, put a lot of thought into what you can do to not have this happen again. One thing is to keep your heart guarded and WADE into a relationship rather than jumping in with both feet. Get to know who he is. Have lots of talks about what you want; what your goals are; what is important to you - and be willing to BAIL if his answers don't line up with yours - even if you really like him and maybe even think you love him.

 

If your goal is to build a long-term relationship with someone, finding the right someone is VERY important. And this guy was obviously not the right person.

 

You will be ok. I promise you will.

[stillafool]

More than likely he had/has met someone else that he wants to see full time. He was crying hysterically because he hated to hurt you. He does feel you are a nice girl and he knows he led you on; but when it actually became reality he backed away.

[kasop]

It sounds like theres a good chance of him crawling back.. hopefully you'll have moved on.