Joebloggs91 Posted March 14, 2016 Posted March 14, 2016 I posted yesterday my story about a whirlwind 6 month relationship that went sour. She ended it and has gone incredibly cold. (I did try and fight for it a week after we broke up but she brushed it off straight away) The hardest thing I'm dealing with is the loneliness. For girls they normally have a group of girls round them to console and help them deal with the breakup. I'm interested to know how guys deal with it. I haven't got the luxury of going out every weekend with my mates (I have lots of friends but not a core friendship group) I also work every other weekend and several evenings during the week which makes it hard. My position at work also means I can't just go out with people I work with (I'm in a position of trust and responsibility) I'm also waiting for an operation on my knee so training and joining a sports team isn't possible either. I also find it difficult to speak about. Guys generally do find these things tough. If anyone has some good ideas or has/is going through the same it would be great to hear from you
woaitzsuperman Posted March 14, 2016 Posted March 14, 2016 I've been watching a ton of tv shows. I would start from season 1 episode 1 and get invested into it. It's been helping if you need to kill time and can't keep yourself busy doing other things. You should reach out to family and talk about it. Talking about it as much as possible will help you reason with it and move on. I also found it helpful to talk to close friends who are girls. They just gave me better advice than any of my guy friends. Stay strong
smudge21 Posted March 14, 2016 Posted March 14, 2016 You need to change some of your lifestyle I would suggest. If now you're working out you don't have friends you can go to in situations like this, then now is the time to find them. If you don't have a life outside of a relationship, then you'll become hooked on your next partner and make them your world, which in turn will lead to this loneliness you're now feeling should it end. It can be hard to meet new people, I know full well, but every journey starts with a single step (cliché but true). Find some hobbies, join a local club, rob a bank (joking, but a guaranteed way to meet new and interesting people)... always remember that everyone is like this, whether we have an army of friends around us or just the one, we all have times when we get lonely, especially after a break up.
Phoenician Posted March 14, 2016 Posted March 14, 2016 involve yourself in more social groups like meetup.com ... make a habbit to pass by a coffe shop or anything couple of times per week after work , and publish it to friends ... try to connect to relatives. try to get away from fake virtual encounters ...
Wuku Posted March 14, 2016 Posted March 14, 2016 I'm in a similar situation. I only meet up with friends every 6 weeks or so, everybody is just a lot more busy than when we were younger, so that option is out. I am also currently not working, meaning spending all day alone with little to do. As mentioned above, get involved in a good box set of some tv show, it's certainly helped take my mind of things. Do you have family you can call on? My Daughter and mother have both been great and listened when I was bad, but then not everyone has the open kind of relationship we do. It's not "girly" to talk about your feelings, and can really help. When I can talk to friends, I do, and they always cheer me up. One of them had recently been through the same stuff, but he's ok now, which gives me hope. The busier you can make yourself the better.
sorano Posted March 14, 2016 Posted March 14, 2016 I work, come home, eat and I automatically go straight to the gym. all the time. I am back home by 10pm. Its a long day. But it helps. The weekends will get better but lots struggle. I do to at times but I am getting better. Its a tough process. Its like resetting your computer to a earlier date or month. You have to reset yourself to when you were single. Get back into that routine and feeling. 1
keiji Posted March 14, 2016 Posted March 14, 2016 I think I'm quite lucky, because where I live people are very outdoorsy, so I get together with friends for drinks basically every day, at least 5 days a week (not good for your liver, I know). It helps a lot to be around people to stop that mental whirlwind that haunts you when you're on your own, or just to vent your problems and make your friends exhausted with your "I'll never forget her/What is she doing now/She's probably forgotten me already" ramble (that's what friends are for, isn't it?). I'm also into painting and drawing, and I'm a massive music geek, so that's good therapy (insert your own hobby here and go for it, whatever makes you happy, or relatively happy at this point). Last week I went for a run by the beach and it felt good too, so I'll try to turn it into a habit. And hey, there's lots of beautiful women working out out there. Nobody said we can't enjoy the sights even if we're not ready to move in that direction yet. 1
Nivy Posted March 14, 2016 Posted March 14, 2016 I posted yesterday my story about a whirlwind 6 month relationship that went sour. She ended it and has gone incredibly cold. (I did try and fight for it a week after we broke up but she brushed it off straight away) The hardest thing I'm dealing with is the loneliness. For girls they normally have a group of girls round them to console and help them deal with the breakup. I'm interested to know how guys deal with it. I haven't got the luxury of going out every weekend with my mates (I have lots of friends but not a core friendship group) I also work every other weekend and several evenings during the week which makes it hard. My position at work also means I can't just go out with people I work with (I'm in a position of trust and responsibility) I'm also waiting for an operation on my knee so training and joining a sports team isn't possible either. I also find it difficult to speak about. Guys generally do find these things tough. If anyone has some good ideas or has/is going through the same it would be great to hear from you Hi Joe, To start with I am a girl and I don't have a single friend who knew about us. He was kinda famous in twitter so he wanted to be silent about all of this and that's why I never talked about my situation with anyone. So I am really really alone at times. I get uncontrollable urges of contacting him and out of the blue have sometimes even mailed him, but never got a reply. Then it hit me that it's just me who is trying and he is showing no effort in getting back together. You can never really carry along a relationship alone right? So I gave up. It hurts like anything but you need to accept it that its over. Accepting is the hardest part. Every night when I go to sleep, I pray that he comes back. I see him all happy on social media and that makes me realize how he has forgotten me. So I have even stopped visiting his profile. What I do when I feel lonely is surf various ways to forget my ex. I come across some great articles and they inspire me not to contact him. Plus I am a student, so this time I decided that I'll give my full effort into studies and try and stand first this semester. So yeah basically I am studying a lot these days. As for you I'd say watch movies, pick up a series and binge watch it.....watch FRIENDS......that show always makes me happy! 1
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