Superman2024 Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 Last week I met my first Tinder prospect. Her profile said "new friends are nice" and when I first asked her about it she acted like she wasn't sure what she wanted. She's 20 and very attractive so I really wanted to see where things would go. The date went alright even though she was pretty awkward, nervous, and a little immature (kept getting on her phone). After the date she mentioned that we could hang out again. Later she said she wasn't looking for a boyfriend because she wasn't interested in that but just friends. She told me she's too wild for me and likes to get drunk on the weekends and is going to Florida this week to party and get laid! She's definitely too wild for me as she said and I see no future with her, but when a girl on Tinder says she's looking for "friends" is that code for hookup? I have a hard time believing anyone is just looking for friends on there. Link to post Share on other sites
No_Go Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 Ugh... She told you. She's looking for partying, maybe hookups there, maybe not. What you should have got: she's NOT looking for a relationship. She's waay too young for you (you're 30+, right?). She has opposite interests and values. And last but not least - why on earth are you on Tinder looking for a serious girl?? It is advertised as a hookup site. There're tons of sites that are designed for relationship minded people. It's like looking for pears on an apple tree. Last week I met my first Tinder prospect. Her profile said "new friends are nice" and when I first asked her about it she acted like she wasn't sure what she wanted. She's 20 and very attractive so I really wanted to see where things would go. The date went alright even though she was pretty awkward, nervous, and a little immature (kept getting on her phone). After the date she mentioned that we could hang out again. Later she said she wasn't looking for a boyfriend because she wasn't interested in that but just friends. She told me she's too wild for me and likes to get drunk on the weekends and is going to Florida this week to party and get laid! She's definitely too wild for me as she said and I see no future with her, but when a girl on Tinder says she's looking for "friends" is that code for hookup? I have a hard time believing anyone is just looking for friends on there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Superman2024 Posted March 14, 2016 Author Share Posted March 14, 2016 Ugh... She told you. She's looking for partying, maybe hookups there, maybe not. What you should have got: she's NOT looking for a relationship. She's waay too young for you (you're 30+, right?). She has opposite interests and values. And last but not least - why on earth are you on Tinder looking for a serious girl?? It is advertised as a hookup site. There're tons of sites that are designed for relationship minded people. It's like looking for pears on an apple tree. One thing I left out is she said her previous relationship lasted 3 years, she hadn't dated for a year, was super picky, and wanted her next one to last longer so I figured she might be open to something more. As I learned more though I realized she's just a wild party girl looking for hookups. Yeah, I'm 31 and actually went on a date with a second 20 year old last week too. We had a lot more in common but things aren't going to work out since I'm not that attracted to her. I'm not just looking for 20 year old's but it just worked out that way recently. I think it's fine if they are mature enough and have similar relationship goals. I'm on other dating sites too so I don't rely on that. Not everyone is looking for hookups on there though. It's rare, but every now and then I'll see another Christian and "super" like her. In my opinion no one should be on dating sites just looking for friends. It makes no sense. Link to post Share on other sites
joseb Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 In my opinion no one should be on dating sites just looking for friends. It makes no sense. Yeah it's annoying. Some use that term as a more polite way of saying looking for hookups. Some really mean they are only looking for friends, in which case, yeah get off Tinder. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Jabron1 Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 It's a friendzone warning from the off. Whether or not they're looking for 'friends' is moot though. Just act the same way regardless: flirty and moving things forward. She'll stop playing along at some point, if that's not what she wants. I don't even raise the topic of being 'friends' on Tinder - just completely ignore it Link to post Share on other sites
Erik30 Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 Yeah it's annoying. Some use that term as a more polite way of saying looking for hookups. Some really mean they are only looking for friends, in which case, yeah get off Tinder. I also think some people use that term because it's an easy way out if they're not interested after all. This girl doesn't have to reject guys, she already told them she's "just looking for friends." I'm sure when she meets some guy one Tinder who she does like, she's suddenly open to dating. Since this is a young attractive girl, most guys would probably give it a shot anyway no matter what she says. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 Try dating women, not 20-year-old girls. Of course she doesn't know what she wants. Her brain is barely fully formed. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 The young ones are on there for the attention. Looking for friends makes them feel they are not obligated to be looking for someone to date, even tho they are....to the right guy. I agree it's just bs. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 BTW Bluestealth when a girl throws a bunch of excuses at you as to why she isn't right for you is her way of rejecting you in a passive manner. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Superman2024 Posted March 14, 2016 Author Share Posted March 14, 2016 I'd agree that her brain isn't fully formed haha. I'm sure she would start dating if she found the right guy for her. Supposedly she's into older mature guys like me, but that's never going to work with her being an immature party girl. After our date, she kept telling me she was too wild for me, but would also keep texting me out of the blue after a few days of no contact. She was the first 20 year old I'd been on a date with, so if anything it was a learning experience! Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 I'd agree that her brain isn't fully formed haha. I'm sure she would start dating if she found the right guy for her. Supposedly she's into older mature guys like me, but that's never going to work with her being an immature party girl. After our date, she kept telling me she was too wild for me, but would also keep texting me out of the blue after a few days of no contact. She was the first 20 year old I'd been on a date with, so if anything it was a learning experience! push/pull... ugh. These young ones love the attention so when you disappear, they come calling. Once she has your attention, then it's excuses because she feels she has you. The way to get this one wrapped around your finger is to be a completely obnoxious a-hole. Seriously. Just follow a script of you partying a lot lately, getting it on with multiple women. Mock her. Tell her she's incapable of meeting your needs. You're a man and she's only dealt with incompetent boys. Her idea of wild is a joke, She knows nothing about being wild. You laugh at her. This could lead to her proving to you that she is wild It's all mind games with the young ones... Link to post Share on other sites
No_Go Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 Keep in mind that her 'relationship' was between 16 and 19, i.e. this is adolescent girl experimenting with a classmate, rather than a relationship in the meaning adults put in it. IMO unless she's VERY mature for her age, there is a lot of life in front of her before being able to be wife/mother material, and I got the impression that's what you're looking for. Otherwise the age difference is not so drastic, but for 'fun' dating, not commitment oriented one. I think Tinder just don't give enough information pre-date, but yeah, it is just another platform. Have you tried meetups and/or church groups? No one is on a dating site just looking for friends. People SAY so to make an easy exit if they don't like their dates. Or, when they're not sure what they want, which I think is the case for your girl. One thing I left out is she said her previous relationship lasted 3 years, she hadn't dated for a year, was super picky, and wanted her next one to last longer so I figured she might be open to something more. As I learned more though I realized she's just a wild party girl looking for hookups. Yeah, I'm 31 and actually went on a date with a second 20 year old last week too. We had a lot more in common but things aren't going to work out since I'm not that attracted to her. I'm not just looking for 20 year old's but it just worked out that way recently. I think it's fine if they are mature enough and have similar relationship goals. I'm on other dating sites too so I don't rely on that. Not everyone is looking for hookups on there though. It's rare, but every now and then I'll see another Christian and "super" like her. In my opinion no one should be on dating sites just looking for friends. It makes no sense. Link to post Share on other sites
SwordofFlame Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 My experience with these girls that are only looking to be "friends" on Tinder or whatever else dating site is just that. They're bored. Might be new in town. They just want someone to hang out with for the day or night. Can it lead to something more? I think it can, but don't expect it to or you may come away disappointed. Link to post Share on other sites
Tahirthegreat Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 They do that when they are looking for either hookups, or free meals. Either way, its a warning for you to avoid at all costs. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Superman2024 Posted March 14, 2016 Author Share Posted March 14, 2016 Keep in mind that her 'relationship' was between 16 and 19, i.e. this is adolescent girl experimenting with a classmate, rather than a relationship in the meaning adults put in it. IMO unless she's VERY mature for her age, there is a lot of life in front of her before being able to be wife/mother material, and I got the impression that's what you're looking for. Otherwise the age difference is not so drastic, but for 'fun' dating, not commitment oriented one. I think Tinder just don't give enough information pre-date, but yeah, it is just another platform. Have you tried meetups and/or church groups? No one is on a dating site just looking for friends. People SAY so to make an easy exit if they don't like their dates. Or, when they're not sure what they want, which I think is the case for your girl. Good point about her being so young during her last "relationship". I can tell you she's not very mature, so she's definitely not wife material at this point in her life. Meetup and church group opportunities are few and far between where I live. There are very few single young adults attending church anymore, at least that's what I've observed. Plus, I don't do well in those settings being that I have an introverted personality and don't easily make new friends within groups. I'm much better suited to breaking the ice with someone online and meeting one on one. I'm also going through mutual friends and family to meet women. Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Peach Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 Yeah, I'm 31 and actually went on a date with a second 20 year old last week too. We had a lot more in common but things aren't going to work out since I'm not that attracted to her. I'm not just looking for 20 year old's but it just worked out that way recently. I think it's fine if they are mature enough and have similar relationship goals. I was on the opposite side of this. I was 20 when I met my XH and he was about your age. I was super mature for my age too. The thing is, even though I was mature and didn't want a hookup, I changed a lot between 20 and 30. It's a pretty risky move IMO to date women that young as they will likely change quite a bit. My experience with these girls that are only looking to be "friends" on Tinder or whatever else dating site is just that. They're bored. Might be new in town. They just want someone to hang out with for the day or night. Can it lead to something more? I think it can, but don't expect it to or you may come away disappointed. I see a lot of men looking for 'friends' on dating sites too. Most IME were just looking for hookups/FWB. VERY few were looking for 100% platonic friends. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
No_Go Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 Yeah, for me OLD was much easier too. Group settings are great, because the pressure is low, but for at least somewhat extroverted people. I had good experiences with OLD in terms of finding relationship oriented men with: eHarmony (met my current BF), Chemistry (this is part of Match, but I liked it better because it gives more information), and OKC (beware! On this one I also met a conartist, and heard other people with similar experiences, maybe because it is free, so anybody can join. But I had tons of messages there, some from great men). Good point about her being so young during her last "relationship". I can tell you she's not very mature, so she's definitely not wife material at this point in her life. Meetup and church group opportunities are few and far between where I live. There are very few single young adults attending church anymore, at least that's what I've observed. Plus, I don't do well in those settings being that I have an introverted personality and don't easily make new friends within groups. I'm much better suited to breaking the ice with someone online and meeting one on one. I'm also going through mutual friends and family to meet women. Link to post Share on other sites
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