samski3409 Posted June 14, 2005 Posted June 14, 2005 okay,here's the story. my girlfriend and i were dating for a year. by all accounts we were totally in love. we had the best times ever together. we saw each other all the time and loved to be together.so a week after our first anniversary she broke u with me. she said she was talking to this guy from her past and wanted to give it a try with him.you can imagine my shock because i was so in love and thought things were great. i did the usaul amount of talking some begging and pleading ,but not much. i grew some balls and decided to go with NC because it hurt to much to stay around talking to her hoping she'd come back. my problem is that she keeps wanting to talk to me. she calls me,text me saying that she loves me and misses me like crazy.she calls me crying and says she thinks she has made the biggest mistake ever. so i talked to her a LITTLE bit and she wants me to be talking to her like i'm i love with her still,which i am,but i don't want to be telling her that. i did ask her why she's doing all this with no intentions of getting back together and she says she just confused. what the hell? i think she's such a jerk for doing this to me.why won't she just leave me alone if she doesn't want me? i'm willing to stick to the NC but it's so hard when she keeps contacting me.i'd love to get back with her but she never says she wants that.she just keeps hurting me by not letting me get over it.what do i do? it's painful talking to her like we're friends or something.she know i'm so in love with her and she uses that against me. i guess i'm asking what all her actions mean. is she just nuts?
UltimateZen Posted June 14, 2005 Posted June 14, 2005 No she is not nuts, she just does not know what she wants and there is very little you can do about it other than to either take her back or move on. Make the decision and stick with it. There is no halfway with this sort of situation. If she was so in love with you, that guy from the past never would have had a chance. Because she left you for him says everything you need to know: she is not fulfilling a need she requires from a b/f. She did not get it from you and now she did not get it from this other guy. The result is that she is now in a situation where she is scared and wants to come back. If you take her back you are taking a chance that she will do it again to you. If you do not take her back you take away a lesson learned and you can move on to others. If you want to really screw with her mind, not that you would, you should tell her that you have moved on, dating a really cool girl, and that it will not work out between the two of you.. I would also add that she needs to figure out what she wants in life and that you or any of her future boyfriends are not toys that can be played with. Unfortunately this tactic has a drawback: her interest level in you might increase even more, meaning her calls and emails to you will increase even more. But I say leave it alone, move on. I was never one to believe in breaks in a relationship. It's not like you have only been dating a month.....you were together for a year!
Sal Paradise Posted June 14, 2005 Posted June 14, 2005 She's a selfish *****. Go back to NC and forget about her.
Fetish 2 Posted June 14, 2005 Posted June 14, 2005 Tell her she has to decide on what she wants before she contacts you again. Tell her she cant play with ur emotions like that....and IF she decides she wants to be with u...U will think about what you want (Even though u want her back don't let her know this) It's unfair on you to be pulled along in her emotional rollercoaster when she was the one who droped u after ur one year because she wanted to be with some other guy
Author samski3409 Posted June 14, 2005 Author Posted June 14, 2005 Zen, i think that's exactly what i needed to hear,you rock. i actually have been seeing this new girl,nothing too serious but she's cool and has been a great distraction. but i just can't seem to get my ex out of my mind.i guess that's just the way it goes.it will take some time. i do love her still but what am i to do? i just have to do my thing and move the heck on. damn love can be cruel!
UltimateZen Posted June 14, 2005 Posted June 14, 2005 No man...YOU ROCK. It may hurt for a while but he pain will go away. Best to you and your new future.
scarlyjones Posted June 14, 2005 Posted June 14, 2005 shes very selfish. Wants you AND other people. Doesnt want to be tamed,...while she trys to keep you in a cage.
Author samski3409 Posted June 14, 2005 Author Posted June 14, 2005 Originally posted by scarlyjones shes very selfish. Wants you AND other people. Doesnt want to be tamed,...while she trys to keep you in a cage. that is kinda what it feels like.she doesn't want me to move on,just keep me as some sort of security blanket. every time she feels crappy she calls me wanting emotional support from me. i can;r sit there and give my time and energy to her if she's not there for me. it's just so tempting when she calls to want to hear her voice.hoping she'll say something different that makes some sort of sense,besides that she's confused which is what she always says.then she follows that up with telling that she love me and that i'll always be the love of her life.Screw that,it's so tough to hear that stuff when she unwilling to do anything about it. it's been a week since i've talked to her and i really am going to stick to this from now on.i figure i a can only gain by doing this.either she comes back or i get on with my life and NC seems to be the best way for me.
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