PrettyEmily77 Posted March 30, 2016 Posted March 30, 2016 Romance is a fragile thing. Just thinking...if my parents met under different circumstances or, say my dad failed to work up the courage to talk to my mom, I would probably not even be here. Such a razor's edge. It's not really a razor's edge, man. Feelings need to be put out there and reciprocated. If it's not mutual, it's just a crush. It'll pass, eventually. 1
Erik30 Posted March 30, 2016 Posted March 30, 2016 I think she's on your mind because you haven't met anyone recently, but you want to have someone in your life Like you said, it was already a while ago, but since you weren't dating anyone else, you started to focus on her again. You already tried and it was worth a shot though, now find a new girl.
Author supdawg1985 Posted March 30, 2016 Author Posted March 30, 2016 You know? This all just changes my whole perception of "love". It's probably true, that I just occupied my heart and mind with certain thoughts that sort of blossomed romantically. It was all internalized - just a meditated fabrication. I've had an idealized outlook that love was transcendent and special, but now it makes me feel like it is almost arbitrary, so perhaps I've just been naive. I just *chose* to fill the void in my heart with her, or at least I allowed it to happen. I could have chosen a different girl. Rather than being struck by "cupid's arrow" it was more like a self-inflicted wound. I suppose this would explain how arranged marriages can amount to very loving and romantic relationships...because the couples have to learn to love one another. There are no options, no outside imaginings to occupy their hearts with. If all this is true, then it's my own fault for feeling this way...I have nobody to blame but myself...and that's just pretty pathetic.
TaraMaiden2 Posted March 30, 2016 Posted March 30, 2016 "Honey, I need some milk, would you go get some from me from the corner store please?" "Sure honey, back in 10!" (Husband leaves to buy milk) Thinks...*....'Ya know, that's funny....I just bought some milk 2 days ago.... how can she have used it all in such a short time? She hasn't baked, or made lasagne.... maybe she's had a lot of cups of coffee.... but that would have to be a whole lot of cups.... which means that, maybe she's had someone round.... who can she have had visiting? Her mom's on holiday, her sister lives too far away for a fleeting visit... besides, she would have told me....maybe she had the girls over from work.... but she hasn't had a day off.... it must be a guy... maybe the window-cleaner....or the guy who does the garden... that's it!! She's got a lover! What the devious, conniving two faced *****!!, she's been having an affair behind my back! Dammit, I'll show her!!'* Returns home - without the milk - "Go buy your own damn milk you cheating, lying *****!!!" You know? This all just changes my whole perception of "love". It's probably true, that I just occupied my heart and mind with certain thoughts that sort of blossomed romantically. It was all internalized - just a meditated fabrication. I've had an idealized outlook that love was transcendent and special, but now it makes me feel like it is almost arbitrary, so perhaps I've just been naive. I just *chose* to fill the void in my heart with her, or at least I allowed it to happen. All this on the basis of a possible hoped-for change to "I'm kind of seeing someone".... you kind of blew it up out of all proportion really, didn't you?
Author supdawg1985 Posted March 30, 2016 Author Posted March 30, 2016 Well...have gone from sad to existentially depressed. Maybe ignorance really is bliss. Just hope I can get some decent sleep.
spriggan2 Posted March 30, 2016 Posted March 30, 2016 Take comfort in the fact it's unlikely she would have lived up to the pedestal you put her on. She'd have been a disappointment, through no fault of her own, but a disappointment nonetheless. You can find someone better for you through more realistic and pragmatic means. Don't stress yourself out.
Author supdawg1985 Posted April 18, 2016 Author Posted April 18, 2016 Feeling better. Actually went on a short vacation that I had been planning. I will say this : I find it curious that she only has posted one status update on her facebook since I messaged her a few weeks ago, and it was saying that she feels confused. She normally posted like once or twice a day up until then. Just find it odd.
Author supdawg1985 Posted May 12, 2016 Author Posted May 12, 2016 So I ended up contacting her a month later just to reiterate once more my interest. I found out she had restricted me (not blocked) on Facebook and turned off chat, but today, a week later, she unrestricted both of those. Is she trying to give me a clue?
preraph Posted May 12, 2016 Posted May 12, 2016 She didn't want to hear from you or she'd have contacted you back. It's that simple.
TaraMaiden2 Posted May 13, 2016 Posted May 13, 2016 So I ended up contacting her a month later just to reiterate once more my interest. I found out she had restricted me (not blocked) on Facebook and turned off chat, but today, a week later, she unrestricted both of those. Is she trying to give me a clue? It's possible. You don't know - if you don't ask. Try approaching her....
Author supdawg1985 Posted May 16, 2016 Author Posted May 16, 2016 Well, so much for that. Complete waste of time and thought. Figured I would at least try to win her heart while I had her attention. Why she gave me subtle clues I don't know. Bunch of horse sh*t and I just remain a cold-hearted cynic when it comes to love. Time to do something productive with my life now. Thanks for all the advice on here.
Author supdawg1985 Posted July 8, 2019 Author Posted July 8, 2019 She was apparently already in a relationship I finally found out. Funny how much can change over the years. I can't really relate to any of this anymore. Now I am aromantic (not asexual) and that's fine since I was able to fixate on my business. Saved up over 100 grand.
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