supdawg1985 Posted March 13, 2016 Posted March 13, 2016 I have to come with grips with something. I met a girl like one time just briefly several years ago. We met at a bookstore and hit it off because we had similar taste in music. Was just a random serendipitous moment like out of a movie. Never really thought too much of it at the time, but ended up chatting with her months later and really found her to be an interesting girl, especially for her age. She ended up giving me her number once and I think there may have been an opportunity there, but I was actually pursuing another girl at the time. We chatted from time to time for the next year or two and I ended up moving to another state, and we didn't really communicate for the next couple years. Since then, I have moved back within the last year or so and have contacted her to see what's up, but did not hear back. She's apparently still living around here. This isn't a deeply rooted situation at all, as we met just that once...but I just find myself thinking about her from time to time. It's sort of random, but I'm friends with her on Facebook and she's just so attractive to me. I don't want to come across as weird or anything, and honestly, I'm not exactly looking for a relationship as I have a business that is on it's way to really big things as long as I commit myself to it. At the same time, I kind of want to perhaps set something up in the future. Any suggestions? I haven't really thought of a girl romantically in years, and I acknowledge this is a superficial thing...but why are my thoughts being occupied like this? Maybe I'm delusional.
Author supdawg1985 Posted March 14, 2016 Author Posted March 14, 2016 I think I'll just forget about it and focus all my attention on my business. I've learned that it's a liberating feeling not worrying about love.
Author supdawg1985 Posted March 23, 2016 Author Posted March 23, 2016 Okay... This just keeps nagging me. I need to come to grips with this or clear my mind. I keep trying to rationalize things but it's just not helping. A response might be helpful.
TaraMaiden2 Posted March 23, 2016 Posted March 23, 2016 Send her a P message on Fb and wait. If you hear nothing within 3 days, toss it aside and take it as read that she's off the A-List
Author supdawg1985 Posted March 23, 2016 Author Posted March 23, 2016 I have made subtle contact with her on there like saying Happy Birthday or maybe a short comment on rare occasions without much of a response. I did message here once when I first moved back and got no reply, but that was last year. When I messaged her when I was living out of state, I offered to take her out and she said she would hang out with me with her friends, because at the time she was "kinda seeing someone". This is all pretty crazy to be honest. I always thought she was attractive but suddenly I just realized I really wanted her. It's probably all in my imagination but to be honest, I'm astounded at how compatible we are. She loves a lot of the same things I love so meeting a person like that was just a fluke to begin with...and when we first met she was saying I was the coolest guy and all this. Too bad this was several years ago. I dunno...maybe I'll do something? I just don't want to come off as weird and desperate...that's a huge turnoff.
TaraMaiden2 Posted March 23, 2016 Posted March 23, 2016 Jeesh man, it's not rocket science - message her: "Are you still 'kinda seeing someone'...? Because if you are, I'll back off, but if not, then how about we grab a drink together? It would be great to see you." Nothing ventured, pal.... 1
Author supdawg1985 Posted March 23, 2016 Author Posted March 23, 2016 (edited) Message deleted Edited March 23, 2016 by supdawg1985 repost
Author supdawg1985 Posted March 23, 2016 Author Posted March 23, 2016 Yeah, but that was a couple years back and since then she did not message me back when I asked her "what's up" and told her I had moved back. Like I said, since that last message I have just made subtle contact here and there because I feel like if I don't get some sort of reciprocation then maybe it's pretty much a one way street. I haven't really gotten any signals at all...probably because years have passed and this just isn't a deeply rooted thing. I just wonder if there was an initial excitement that, understandably, wore off for her. I normally would be in that boat, but I just can't shake these romantic thoughts...
TaraMaiden2 Posted March 23, 2016 Posted March 23, 2016 You're fixating and obsessing on what ifs and maybes. The only way to put it to rest is to write a message that she can't miss or ignore, and wait for an outcome. If it doesn't come, or you don't get the response you were hoping for - at least that will put the lid on it. Quit foot-hopping and prevaricating. Just do it. 1
Author supdawg1985 Posted March 23, 2016 Author Posted March 23, 2016 I mean, I don't necessarily mind just telling her "I want to take you out", but it just seems I should merge to that point rather than just sort of tell her that point-blank, out of the blue. We just haven't communicated like we used to for a couple years now, so that may be drastic. Trust me, I'm not shy and not unwilling to be aggressive...I just don't want to be *too* aggressive. In my mind, I have just thought the best way to go about this was to just get on her radar again somehow and hopefully get some sort of signal. I'll have to mull this over. Again, I just don't want her to think I'm weird.
TaraMaiden2 Posted March 23, 2016 Posted March 23, 2016 I think it's weird you're over-thinking this. I mean, really - how bad can it be?
TheFinalWord Posted March 23, 2016 Posted March 23, 2016 I mean, I don't necessarily mind just telling her "I want to take you out", but it just seems I should merge to that point rather than just sort of tell her that point-blank, out of the blue. We just haven't communicated like we used to for a couple years now, so that may be drastic. Trust me, I'm not shy and not unwilling to be aggressive...I just don't want to be *too* aggressive. In my mind, I have just thought the best way to go about this was to just get on her radar again somehow and hopefully get some sort of signal. I'll have to mull this over. Again, I just don't want her to think I'm weird. Over analyzing....maybe you should just focus on your business. What would it hurt. Write a short message. Hi, I am in town and would enjoy seeing you! Are you available to meet for a dinner, event, ect.? Thanks! supdawg
Author supdawg1985 Posted March 23, 2016 Author Posted March 23, 2016 I just fear that any natural window has closed. She probably never even thinks about me. We did have on-going back and forth chats for a couple of years, but we just met that one time...and it was quite awhile back at this point. On paper the situation just sounds weird to me. But then I think of how pretty she is and how much we have in common...
TheFinalWord Posted March 23, 2016 Posted March 23, 2016 I just fear that any natural window has closed. She probably never even thinks about me. We did have on-going back and forth chats for a couple of years, but we just met that one time...and it was quite awhile back at this point. On paper the situation just sounds weird to me. But then I think of how pretty she is and how much we have in common... There is no natural window. Trust me, women get hit on regularly. If you have things in common, you have an edge and you aren't a complete stranger. So you have more of a natural edge than the random guy that approaches her.
Author supdawg1985 Posted March 23, 2016 Author Posted March 23, 2016 Over analyzing....maybe you should just focus on your business. What would it hurt. Write a short message. Hi, I am in town and would enjoy seeing you! Are you available to meet for a dinner, event, ect.? Thanks! supdawg Ha, thanks for the response. My goal this year was actually to just focus 100% on my business which is on it's way to huge things. I did not think I would consider letting anything interfere, but I am willing to make an exception. I actually would love to spoil her with some of the money I have made in the past year : )
TaraMaiden2 Posted March 23, 2016 Posted March 23, 2016 Ha, thanks for the response. My goal this year was actually to just focus 100% on my business which is on it's way to huge things. I did not think I would consider letting anything interfere, but I am willing to make an exception. I actually would love to spoil her with some of the money I have made in the past year : ) That is an entirely unsound and unwise idea.
Author supdawg1985 Posted March 23, 2016 Author Posted March 23, 2016 I just wouldn't mind showing her ways that I think she's special.
TaraMaiden2 Posted March 23, 2016 Posted March 23, 2016 Great. So you'll buy her affection, and she will grow to always expect financial generosity. Money and doing things like that are really unimportant, and could swing things negatively.
Author supdawg1985 Posted March 23, 2016 Author Posted March 23, 2016 Yeah, I know what you mean. So...I'll think about all of this but I am leaning towards just cutting to the chase and asking her out. Maybe she'll be flattered to be contacted in such a way out of the blue?
Phoenician Posted March 23, 2016 Posted March 23, 2016 If you are busy and not free for an LTR just forget about her . “The biggest coward of a man is to awaken the love of a woman without the intention of loving her.”
Author supdawg1985 Posted March 23, 2016 Author Posted March 23, 2016 I would make time, she would be worth it.
TaraMaiden2 Posted March 23, 2016 Posted March 23, 2016 I would make time, she would be worth it. And you are sure of this - how?
Author supdawg1985 Posted March 30, 2016 Author Posted March 30, 2016 Messaged her two days ago and no response. I think in a different world we could have had something. In this world we'll just be strangers.
Buddhist Posted March 30, 2016 Posted March 30, 2016 (edited) well sorry you got no response. But at least you are no longer hanging. Edited March 30, 2016 by Buddhist
Author supdawg1985 Posted March 30, 2016 Author Posted March 30, 2016 Romance is a fragile thing. Just thinking...if my parents met under different circumstances or, say my dad failed to work up the courage to talk to my mom, I would probably not even be here. Such a razor's edge.
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