Tutancamon Posted March 13, 2016 Posted March 13, 2016 (edited) I was with her for five years. She wanted marriage two years in, I wanted to wait and felt insecure about us. We separated one time some years ago, we were mad for a week and came back. Sometimes we would argue so much that it felt like we were better off being apart but always at the end of the day we needed each other and felt great to be together. She had to learn to control her anger and sometimes I couldn't help much so I would become grumpy from her reactions. It seemed normal to me at the time. Anyway I loved her, we did amazing things together and grew as people. During those years, we helped out so much, she was always there for me when I needed her and I was there for her when she really needed me, monetarily and in person. She considered me her love of her life. When she lost her job, I was there. But, she decided to keep lies saying it was only to avoid me getting angry - which only deteriorated the relationship more... I tried to tell her it was bad to lie but she apparently had made her mind that way. One day about 3 months ago I found a dumb lie and confronted her, it escalated into her telling me "We will never be happy together" and she was ready to end it, right after hearing that from her I said mean things about her and broke us even further and she walked away from me. I have tried to contact her random times apologizing about my words. The last thing she told me (was two days later after the argument) I sent her huge flowers and a note apologizing for my words and also an email were she replied with "I am out, I wish you didn't spend money on flowers, please move on" That was the last thing I heard from her 3 months ago and have been blocked completely from her life. Blocked on phone, Facebook, etc. I have been extremely depressed, no more than 5 months ago I told her I wanted to marry her, I felt I had finally become close and felt was the right time, I can't understand one day I have her in my arms telling her I love her and the next morning she is gone. We were probably naive, and I egocentric and what I could see was I was just trying to control her. Maybe that is why she really fell out of love in an instant, maybe she didn't love me anymore. I still love her with all my heart, as time passes I think more and more of little details of those years with her and miss her more and more. I spent every day with her during those 5 years. We knew almost everything from each other. I wish I could speak to her again and fix our relationship. How could she just let it all go like that? we had worse arguments years ago and didn't break us, instead we fought for us. It's extremely hard to let go someone you wanted to grow old with. I wish to think this is temporal, that soon she will start to miss me and try to fix our mistakes but seems she has moved on, partying and meeting lots of new people like if she was a completely different person. Makes me think, she really wasn't herself around me. Speculations. Edited March 13, 2016 by Tutancamon added better content
Author Tutancamon Posted March 14, 2016 Author Posted March 14, 2016 we get blind sided and one party decides it isn't worth staying anymore. I spent christmas and new year depressed, she looked so happy. She must be in a better place now with people that she loves. I too have people that I love but, I still love her so much and miss us so much, everyone can relate how much you miss conversations with that person that you see every day, that you kiss every day and hug every day. She is simply gone. I can't believe it.
basil67 Posted March 14, 2016 Posted March 14, 2016 She didn't fall out of love in an instant - it was probably more an issue of the proverbial straw breaking the camel's back. I'm not sure what things she was repeatedly lying about to avoid your anger, but this alone shows substantial issues in the relationship and should have been a red flag to you. I won't go into rights or wrongs without knowing more, but the relationship wasn't sustainable with this type of thing going on. Do you know that you can encourage honesty by not getting mad or upset about the truth? Problem is, if a person gets too many negative reactions to the truth they will either lie or end the relationship. Hang in there. And be thankful that you don't have to deal with her lying anymore.
Author Tutancamon Posted March 14, 2016 Author Posted March 14, 2016 She didn't fall out of love in an instant - it was probably more an issue of the proverbial straw breaking the camel's back. I'm not sure what things she was repeatedly lying about to avoid your anger, but this alone shows substantial issues in the relationship and should have been a red flag to you. I won't go into rights or wrongs without knowing more, but the relationship wasn't sustainable with this type of thing going on. Do you know that you can encourage honesty by not getting mad or upset about the truth? Problem is, if a person gets too many negative reactions to the truth they will either lie or end the relationship. Hang in there. And be thankful that you don't have to deal with her lying anymore. Many times I make myself believe that this is best, that she is gone. I even told her I cheated on her once just so that we would break up for good. She knew me so well that she laughed in my face when I told her that... immediately I laughed too and the argument ended with a hug. It was so childish but cute at once. I loved her, just she was more than I could handle. Lies? she talked to her ex behind me, she kept smoking when said she didn't that was the confrontation, dumb stupid smokes... People seem to think it was just an excuse, that she was out of love months ago. She danced on some guy in front of me but she was extremely drunk... I still felt disrespected and hurt. I don't know... many things that hurt each other.
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