Radarsat Posted March 13, 2016 Posted March 13, 2016 Hey everyone, I've finally given up on dating. Got burned 4 times now and I'm fed up. Each time it has been related to my CPAP. I tried to bring it up with each woman very carefully, but the look on their faces was obvious. 2 of them actually told me later after we went separate ways that the CPAP was an issue for them. And my ex-wife stopped having sex with me when I got one. With the exception when she wanted kids of course. Is a CPAP a serious deal breaker for most woman? Please don't sugarcoat it for me. I'm giving up anyway, but I'm still curious as to how others feel. Thanks.
losangelena Posted March 13, 2016 Posted March 13, 2016 Honestly, that is something that would make me go, "hmm." Reasons being, are they not quite loud at night? If I were to sleep over, that would be an issue. Would make sleeping, not to mention things like cuddling, difficult. I would also assume that you'd never be able to sleep over at my place, unless you can take it with you. Also, I would wonder why you need one, if there are some health implications involved. So yeah, it's a hard sell. How old are you, and do you think you'll be on it forever?
Author Radarsat Posted March 13, 2016 Author Posted March 13, 2016 Honestly, that is something that would make me go, "hmm." Reasons being, are they not quite loud at night? If I were to sleep over, that would be an issue. Would make sleeping, not to mention things like cuddling, difficult. I would also assume that you'd never be able to sleep over at my place, unless you can take it with you. Also, I would wonder why you need one, if there are some health implications involved. So yeah, it's a hard sell. How old are you, and do you think you'll be on it forever? I'm 37. overweight. Short. Bald. If I lose weight, there is a small chance I MAY be able to get off it. Probably not though. And yeah, I'd have to bring one with me for sleepovers, which I've done. Or have a second one in the trunk as backup. Thanks for confirming I'm screwed.
upnorth Posted March 13, 2016 Posted March 13, 2016 Of course you can take it for sleepovers..the machine itself is not large at all. I dated a man with one. I didn't mind the c pap, but it did bother me that he refused to use it most of the time. Perhaps the nurse in me, but I found it foolish he wouldn't maintain his health out of vanity. He's a great guy. Friendly , caring, and treats women with the out most respect. He's never had issues dating...he was single for a total of two years in between marriages. Women like him. I'm sure it would be a problem for some, but so are a lot of other things...I mean one thing I've heard on here is several people they would not date shift workers...or someone with kids...people have preferences, but I don't think it's something you need to throw the towel in over.
startingagain15 Posted March 13, 2016 Posted March 13, 2016 My BF of 9 months uses one. It is kind of a concern, but not enough that I don't want to be with him. We don't do sleepovers yet because we both have kids at home. There have been nights where I've really wanted him to stay and one of the reasons he can't is because no CPAP. He has to submit the data for his work because they monitor his health since he drives truck with hazardous materials, so he really can't skip using it. He's not out of shape but has sleep apnea and some lung issues, and snores terribly without it. Sometimes, it is hard to not feel a little put out about it being his excuse as to why he can't stay over, even though I know it's not really why (kids are really the issue). When we decide we are ready (or the kids are ready) for us to take that step of overnights though, I'm sure it won't be a huge deal for him to just bring it with him.
salparadise Posted March 13, 2016 Posted March 13, 2016 Much ado about nothing. I use a cpap and guess how many of the women I've dated had any issues with it? Zero. It's white noise, not loud at all. It's far better than having to sleep with a snorer. Wait until you're done with the evening's activities and slip it on. You can still spoon or whatever if you're so inclined. Taking it with you is a bit of a hassle, but that's probably the biggest obstacle. Get a second, compact model to travel with or to leave at her house. It's the solution, not the problem.
losangelena Posted March 13, 2016 Posted March 13, 2016 I'm 37. overweight. Short. Bald. If I lose weight, there is a small chance I MAY be able to get off it. Probably not though. And yeah, I'd have to bring one with me for sleepovers, which I've done. Or have a second one in the trunk as backup. Thanks for confirming I'm screwed. Well, you did ask that we not sugar coat things. Fwiw, I didn't actually say it'd be a non-starter, but that it would give me pause. I agree with upnorth, that it's not something to necessarily throw in the towel over. I think your attitude about the whole thing is a bigger impediment, to be honest. People with missing limbs, who are wheelchair-bound, blind, have cognitive impairment, manage to find love. A portable cpap is not the most insurmountable hurtle.
ASG Posted March 13, 2016 Posted March 13, 2016 Honestly, that is something that would make me go, "hmm." Reasons being, are they not quite loud at night? If I were to sleep over, that would be an issue. Would make sleeping, not to mention things like cuddling, difficult. I would also assume that you'd never be able to sleep over at my place, unless you can take it with you. Also, I would wonder why you need one, if there are some health implications involved. So yeah, it's a hard sell. How old are you, and do you think you'll be on it forever? They're not loud at all. A friend of mine has to use one and we've shared a room (and even a bed) a few times. I didn't hear a thing. If I didn't know he had it, I wouldn't have noticed it at all. And he takes it on trips, even flying trips, so it can't be that big!
katiegrl Posted March 13, 2016 Posted March 13, 2016 Much ado about nothing. I use a cpap and guess how many of the women I've dated had any issues with it? Zero. It's white noise, not loud at all. It's far better than having to sleep with a snorer. Wait until you're done with the evening's activities and slip it on. You can still spoon or whatever if you're so inclined. Taking it with you is a bit of a hassle, but that's probably the biggest obstacle. Get a second, compact model to travel with or to leave at her house. It's the solution, not the problem. Thank you for posting that salparadise... My dad had sleep apnea (he passed last year)... and if not for the cpap, he could have died in his sleep from lack of oxygen to the brain. His condition was very serious. I would never ever reject a guy for this....in fact I would encourage him to use it as sleep apnea can be very dangerous if not treated.
losangelena Posted March 13, 2016 Posted March 13, 2016 They're not loud at all. A friend of mine has to use one and we've shared a room (and even a bed) a few times. I didn't hear a thing. If I didn't know he had it, I wouldn't have noticed it at all. And he takes it on trips, even flying trips, so it can't be that big! See, I think this highlights a problem that maybe OP is bumping up against—misconceptions about what a cpap is. Before reading any of these replies, I can't honestly say I knew much about how one worked, which I'm willing to bet is quite common. If, as everyone is saying, the apparatus itself is not fairly portable and non-invasive, then I feel it should be an even smaller issue once those misconceptions are cleared up. Granted, women (and men, of course) are still entitled to their preferences.
katiegrl Posted March 13, 2016 Posted March 13, 2016 I'm 37. overweight. Short. Bald. If I lose weight, there is a small chance I MAY be able to get off it. Probably not though. And yeah, I'd have to bring one with me for sleepovers, which I've done. Or have a second one in the trunk as backup. Thanks for confirming I'm screwed. Perhaps these women just used the cpap as an excuse ...when the real reason they ended it was because you chose to disregard your health by remaining overweight instead if taking steps to lose and become healthy. Gotta admit, *that* would turn me off more than the cpap. 1
ASG Posted March 13, 2016 Posted March 13, 2016 See, I think this highlights a problem that maybe OP is bumping up against—misconceptions about what a cpap is. Before reading any of these replies, I can't honestly say I knew much about how one worked, which I'm willing to bet is quite common. If, as everyone is saying, the apparatus itself is not fairly portable and non-invasive, then I feel it should be an even smaller issue once those misconceptions are cleared up. Granted, women (and men, of course) are still entitled to their preferences. Haha exactly. I only really know about them because my friend has one. Bt to be fair, I think the prospect of sleeping with someone who snores loke a motorboat would scare me more than if they said they had a cpap!
katiegrl Posted March 13, 2016 Posted March 13, 2016 Haha exactly. I only really know about them because my friend has one. Bt to be fair, I think the prospect of sleeping with someone who snores loke a motorboat would scare me more than if they said they had a cpap! My ex snored really bad sometimes, which is one reason why I had my own room. When it got really bad, I would just head there... But for those couples who don't share a big place like we did, yeah it would be a problem. Foam earplugs work really well though!!
Author Radarsat Posted March 13, 2016 Author Posted March 13, 2016 Well, you did ask that we not sugar coat things. Fwiw, I didn't actually say it'd be a non-starter, but that it would give me pause. I agree with upnorth, that it's not something to necessarily throw in the towel over. I think your attitude about the whole thing is a bigger impediment, to be honest. People with missing limbs, who are wheelchair-bound, blind, have cognitive impairment, manage to find love. A portable cpap is not the most insurmountable hurtle. I wasn't offended by you losangelena. I mean it when I said thanks for confirming I'm screwed. I know I am. I realize you all think it's not a huge hurdle....but I've lived with one for over 10 years. I was with my ex then (we split last August) and when I got one, yes, she was happier about less snoring for sure, but our sex life went down the drain. And each girl I've seen since has had an issue with it. I've brought it over for sleepovers, and quickly the coldness came on with each one. I'm trying to lose weight, but the reality is I have always had a rather thick neck. Played football when younger and I have built up a lot of muscle in that area. Chances are weight loss will not get rid of the problem completely. I'm likely on CPAP forever. I realize you think I need an adjustment to my attitude, but it's very hard being rejected. I need to just figure out how to be happy on my own and go and buy a frigging fleshlight when I need intimacy. Thanks for the replies folks.
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